First Nation Peoples were America's first slaves.

Top of the morning gents,

As stated before, I'm retarded. I wake during the middle of the night and think about fucked up assignments, botched cases and drug ops where state trooper game plans didn't survive contact with the targets and I lost my way. On rare occasions, my improvisations drifted far beyond acceptable legal guidelines. Some nights I dream about working with you coppers and it's heartbreaking when my dreams have all of ye still alive and giving me a ration of crap like Octuck's, "Hiya Karla, way to go dumb ass!" I'll never get over befriending, working and missing a bunch of uniformed KPD, AST and VPSO grunts. My shovels well-worn, weary and dirty digging holes planting pals.

I get out of bed and chug down a bucket of water, then sit at my station and read or write. It's my intellectual workout cobbling scraps from idiotic jobs blown. I dissect these fuck ups while dreaming, then put shameful bits to paper. Or more accurately, on a junker laptop. If I don't get up and machine gun type my sausage casings empty, I'll toss about pissing off the ancient one and wake both of us. It's called hypergraphia: a passion for reading and composing silly essays that cursed me with numerous expensive university scholarships and irritated former coworkers at remote arctic patrol stations. Years of shift work and rotating sleep cycles have permanently fucked my shit up and I find myself prey to that nighttime lucidity which renders useless all efforts to get back to sleep. These dark lonely exertions require further explanation. Keep reading.

These last few nights, alone at my station, I contort my head around the concepts of idealism and realism. Or better put, wishful thinking versus pragmatism. I've got these ridiculous notions that with hygiene, nutrition and education I can eradicate poverty, crime and violence from Alaska. Good luck huh? Since departing hometown cultures of physical graffiti, chronic drug abuse, drug sales and illnesses alcoholic I took the position that chronic grinding ignorance and suffering can be mended by increasing daily water consumption in rural Alaska households. There's overwhelming data indicating a verifiable correlation between evermore plentiful clean water and overall household health. Data suggests increasing the quality and variety of daily calories consumed in rural households also lengthens life spans. Despite being a mental midget, I'm a believer in more clean water, flush toilets and better education. During our years on dummy patrol, we seen some shit.

What the fuck. I'll back any plan to replace fat white ignorant classroom teachers, pay premium wages, provide housing and pension plans to vastly different and better instructors. I'm trying real fucking hard to ignore backwards regressive native cultural barf, then in turn possibly scrubbing away misery, catastrophic regional and racial health care costs and in general, make rural Alaska a much more dignified, informed and literate place to work and exist. What the fuck, I could've been born bright. The greatest of evils and the worst of crimes is poverty and it has cursed Alaska and the world for thousands of years yielding vast inventories of slaves, lepers, natives and outcasts. In this essay, I humbly table a remedy analogous to the impossible cure for the common cancer.

Many years ago I was enjoying sweet biscuits, tinned meats and good coffee chatting topics far too esoteric for my graveyard shift at KPD. The four of us were lamenting the horrible state of affairs of the patrons housed at the arctic police department detention facility of our employ. In response and cure-all for the ills that ail our inmates, the Sarge oft would state "this is a job for Superman" and go out to the patrol car and "fetch his magic wand and make everything all better." He was making fun of me, but I felt flattered. Cops make friends the hard way and even in the desperate lonely grind working pitch dark graveyard shifts in the far north, cops maintain the distinction that of all human beings, only late-night poorly healing, uniformed grunts were bound to be sincere and trustworthy. Experience has taught me cops won't trust anyone who has not been tried in the fire and stress of public safety.

My two other constabulary cohorts, David Craig and Roy Fields both chuckled at the Sargent's silly reference to a mythical all-purpose community repair tool-kit. I didn't think it funny. I was righteous in my indignation and equally naive in my stubbornness refusing to accept the plight our patrons suffered, endured and perpetuated. I was reluctant to comprehend that being born in remote Alaska, in native villages implied in-home brutality, child abuse, sexual assaults, domestic violence, high rates of injury and incarceration. Dear readers, can you tell I'm a real fucking idiot?

David Craig, Roy Fields and the Sarge looked at me with mixed expressions of sadness and amusement. That shit really pissed me off. David asked me, "Karl, what do you propose we do, bring the whole world in for repairs?" My response was to "at least put Arctic Alaska up on the auto shop overhead hoists and do some maintenance on the motherfucker!" Adii, I'm so European. Roy busted a hearty chuckle and said, "Good luck Karl. You'll have to undo nearly 10,000 years of xenophobia, starvation, superstition and illiteracy that made my grandparent's lives nasty, brutish and short."

Roy furthered his assertions referring to Velma Wallis's book, "Two Old Women." He believed these elderly women were taken out, skinned, butchered chunky and brought back home to feed a starving Inuit village. The great tales of bountiful subsistence, ageless wisdom and wonderful gaming knowledge were simply village legends easing horrible cultural guilt and aching sins of cannibalism. Without a trace of remorse, Roy explained, "Karl, ancient Eskimos never excluded eating dogs and humans from their subsistence diet. Anasazi Indians and Vikings cannibalized their adversaries."

Roy kept up his lecture including the fact that no modern native could survive a subsistence existence. Mr. Fields explained that in the 20th century, subsistence includes food stamps, heating assistance, energy assistance, free housing and free comprehensive medical care. The carrying capacity, meaning the number of game animals and food plants available on the tundra prohibits tribe numbers to exceed dozens, not hundreds. Take away all of Alaska's rich welfare benefits and yer left with very few starving, short, sick and illiterate natives looking identical to their North Korean cousins.

David Craig continued explaining the possibility of a perfect world requires more than just one idealistic fool such as myself. Since fleeing a grinding, miserable world filled with abhorrent daily violence, mental illness from chronic drug addiction and my innocuous pestilent contributions furthering these colossal trends, I figured that with a humble measure of redemption being hard work at KPD, AST and VPSO stations, suffering long shifts and trying in earnest, I'd learn to view ancient communities with understanding and compassion. Furthermore, with busted hands, aching back and wetted eyes, make a positive difference. My coworkers laughed at my "save the natives" bullshit. Fully aware of my retardation, and just between you coppers and myself, Roy Fields, David Craig and the Sarge lectured me that I'd achieve a big ZERO unless I exert more than just an ounce of "love reflecting a Christian approach." Fuck me, they were bringing out the heavy weaponry and I was way out of my league.

Jesus is a seriously complex card to play and brought to mind my tormented atheist professor regarding Pascal's Wager. It's a dilemma facing mankind for ages in that as humans climb out of anthropological monkey-hood we also start believing we are gods of our environment. The Pascal Wager is described when an atheist on his deathbed asked for a priest to confess his aching sins and be absolved. His belief being if there's the slimmest chance his atheism is wrong, he should act as if there is a god and if so, go to heaven rather than hell. If God does not exist, he loses nothing. In short, deathbed existential gambling is fer suckers and throwing dice with God may likely be loaded.

At the prodding of my professors I performed considerable research into the travels and teaching of Jesus, then submitted the disturbing results to my department heads at UAF for publishing. This essay discloses these historical data points along with some of the phenomena I discussed with David Craig, our very own in-house police department theologian, Roy Fields' Alaska history expertise and the Sarge's bitter wit. Specifically, Mr. Craig is a hard nut to crack and he seldom mentions these topics we chatted with mixed company during our many years of graveyard shifts. On this particular evening, Dave, Roy and the Sarge were on a roll and kicking my ass. Keep reading.

I was trying to transform the mind simultaneously transform the man, myself. You've no idea the vicious, cruel streak in me and my desires to inflict suffering and to dominate my home town's and the larger world's uneducated victims legion. Explaining to the Sarge, Roy and David I was trying to adopt a new found Christian stance with silly suggestions to alleviate the bleak human condition in Arctic Alaska. You boys know that I never took stock in submission and acceptance of suffering as an effective means to achieving redemption and salvation, for myself and my new neighbors. David Craig leaned towards me and in a decent Russian accent he asked, "Dear Comrade, are you secretly measuring yourself for Willie Hensley's dinner jacket?" "Or may I humbly submit, Chester Sivik's kuspuk?" Some shit is un-fixable: that being myself and the new community I chose to serve. Plus, David Craig is an annoying smart-ass.

Since you fuckers are highly trained detectives, you likely surmised that I pissed and shit on the notion of a Utopian, pre-contact, native, socialist culture. Man is a fickle, unreasonable animal who could never live the Inupiaq Attigignik Values that clash with enlightened self-interest. My wise native elder teammate Roy Fields insisted that we're not insects, we're human beings possessing selfish super-computing brains, not ants totally integrated in its group. That being the anthill or an Eskimo village.

Mr. Fields reminded us of Emily Ivanoff Brown, his second grade teacher commonly known in the Eskimo Community as Tikusuk who authored an autobiography theorizing that humans don't feel physically fulfilled acting for the general good of the community: the anthill. So no, it doesn't take a village to raise a child. That's rubbish. Humans are far too lucid and disregard allusions to the greater good outside themselves. Poor natives in Emily's community simply stole from her parents' home-based village trading post because stealing was easier than back-breaking subsistence hunting and trapping. Her parents pulled the plug and joined the great white flight from the vil to Nome.

Despite my staggering ignorance, my shift-mates never gave up on me. In my old age I now understand what my wizened elders at the police department were trying to tell me. Culture has momentum and pushes relentlessly like a murderous fucking glacier. And "history is written by the victors." Looking at rural Alaska's wreckage, I don't think anybody was victorious at anything. Fuck us. Like filling an empty glass from an empty bottle, schoolbook history caters towards softer editions, milder versions and softer heads, thus perpetuating overdue, obsolete worldviews.

Well shit. It seems to me that we've rewritten the most stupid shit, dumped it upon our public school children resulting in retardedly low academic scores Alaskan, then shipped 'em back to their respective ghetto-villes. Ghetto-villes being Alaska's rural manufacturing plants yielding lepers and bottom-feeder caste-monkeys. This is the infectious mucous we've taught Alaskan kids, instead of appointing fair blame upon violent narrow-minded Inupiaq traditions and insensitive European efforts to repair or replace these nasty cultural norms.

We're teaching a white-washed version of history laying blame for the poor health and high mortality upon the shoulders of those silly dark people that we systematically undermined with self-serving church perversities left over from fanatical missionaries, brutal ignorant miners and invading Europeans like me. What's worse, we obliterate the remaining cultural dregs with high-tech phones, computers, automobiles and silly notions of statewide, worldwide and space travel. In short, giving out the prizes without understanding the inventions keeping ignorant colored people completely clueless like slaves, lepers and outcasts. It's not all "blame the white man," it's a complex composite reflecting the absorption of the worst aspects of both cultures. Rural Alaskan life will never be captured by even the greatest formulas nor anthropological theories. My thoughts are stupid leaking rectal drivel.

One silly rhyme that works is, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all." Fucking A dudes, that sure as shit don't include niggers, natives and vampires that cast little or no reflection in mirrors or the eyes of us colonists. Better put, if I remove the impact of your culture in history books, I've eliminated the significance of your entire people. You just witnessed how both indigenous leaders and us Europeans have re-written history so that outdated cultural momentum undermines, dilutes and sweeps away the importance and value of entire races and classes of people leaving only ghostly shadows of American Natives fading to phantom glimmer as 4 night shift KPD workers barely hear the unspoken and gaze upon the unseen.

I've been reading about infamous figures that lived more than a century ago and taken aback on how political and economic classes mistreated one-another. Sadly, wrestling with literature a hunnert years old, I discovered that I really had to know how to read. Mind you, my lineage has gained tremendously from the poor treatment of other people, then buried all the evidence clean-sweeping history. Stalin is famous for quoting the French biologist Jean Rostand, "Kill one man, you are a murderer. Kill millions of men you are a conqueror. Kill them all, you are a god." The last pure blood first nation people have been absorbed, diluted and departed the last train to nowhere.

I've mentioned to you coppers the wholesale displacement and elimination of America's first nation's tribes (manifest destiny), American slavery of Africans, Chinese Cooley importation for forced railroad labor, drug smuggling to various gold rushes (laudanum), child kidnapping, trafficking and prostitution in the Alaskan cities of Ketchikan, Skagway and Nome. Reading edited and bogus American and Alaskan history has sidestepped the harsh brutalities these races and classes suffered: all for staggering profits enriching a minority party of Europeans.

Reading Russian dissident novels I've committed self-inflicted and needlessly painful endurance through volumes written by Dostoyevsky and Solzhenitsyn who brought to light that we're all composed of both slave descendants and starving political prisoners. My two Russian authors, Dostoyevsky and Solzhenitsyn were imprisoned for most of their lives during the 1840’s and 1940’s respectively for simply expressing their thoughts at a typewriter, keyboard, quill, pen and inkwell.

Recent history is stacked deeper'n shit with authors jailed and writers cuffed and executed simply for putting words to paper, velum, scroll or stone. I've no explanation why humans put their lives and freedoms at risk sharing their thoughts by spoken word or silly symbols scribbled and chiseled in text form. But we do. Expressing ideas in conversation and publication could possibly enlighten lower classes and might contribute to worldwide intelligence quotients inclined, not declined. Thinking my writing might improve shit, proves I'm a fucking idiot.

Russia and far too many countries worldwide disposed thousands of insightful, creative nuisance authors by arresting them, interrogating them, torturing them and finally shipping these higher IQ gentlemen off to slave labor camps. These camps were factories, mines and horrid medical laboratories staffed with unpaid, starving and quickly dying men deemed too controversial to live amongst us. Worldwide, including America, political parties only work in environments of single-minded epistemology and fractious mixed populations require division, separation, sorting, cleaning and then the removal of coloreds, aborigines, first nation citizens, religious and philosophically undesirables and criminals. This includes non-conforming intellectuals.

These undesirables includes smart assholes like you coppers that'd rather take a bullet through your hands, instead of nails. Just look what happens to you creative, witty and funny fuckers that think too much and open your big mouths with the real possibility of receiving sentences of hard labor, slave wages and forced relocation to arctic shit holes resulting in abbreviated life expectancies raising families not your caste, station, class, color or heritage. I'll let that last sentence remain unqualified.

We've suffered and died at comparable arctic latitudes, but unlike Russia's dissident writers, I doubt we could live through one hundred or worse, one thousand lashes from a cane, whip, rod or staff. Most humans stripped and tied to the whipping pole suffer fatal heart attacks, organ failure or simply die from shock trauma of flogging, but we've all thrived marginally well with the chronic health conditions we succumbed on the wrong end of the North American continent with arctic Alaska's vastness our prion walls.

The remnants of public whippings and floggings surfaces in old-fashioned child rearing. To keep a child in line, or in their place, the traditional cure is paddling, whipping, slapping and beating them, thus punctuating and adding momentum to cruel behavioral patterns. Bookmarking bad behavior only places an episode of PTSD on a child's learning and taking a belt to a child succeeds in creating a criminal just like myself and our clients at the jail. Cops can be the worst offenders of these capital forms of punishment illustrating my comment, "Cop kids are shit" and may your own son beat you to death.

Our long talks in dispatch or the squad room could very possibly be unsuitable to American political parties and could likely get us sent to arctic prisons without a fair trial. In the last 20+ years, I stolen and kyped your thoughts and to protect those of you outspoken and living, assigned only rank then regurgitated yer putrid beauty wit back at you. After half-assed proofing and editing, I've heaved and barfed yer shit online in a rubbish bin called Hellblog Alaska. Hence, the familiarity you all likely recognize from discussions of topics I now chew and spit back at you unsavory characters.

Outspoken writers also conflict with government sanctioned popular sentiment and mob mentality. You coppers are thoughtful gents and from experience gained keen insight into common crimes against neighbors and relatives. Meaning in a larger context, crimes against humanity including intimidation, bullying and forced relocation of honest cops and intellectual teachers Alaskans. Our mere discussing legal and moral issues of less punitive options like banishment to the penal colony Camp Siv on public radio ain't happening. We shant bitch at Alaska's weird legislative cures to native problems, we voted for the numb nut motherfuckers. Ain't nobody's fault but ours.

In your old age, aside from debunking false, fictitious and fabricated histories, you understand the encroachment of urban myths steamrolling scientific processes and advanced calculations in medicine, physics, bush flight aeronautics and interstellar travel. History, the simplest forgery, gets whitewashed first. Our hillbilly neighbor Alaskans don't find such high-minded scholarship all that important, online bullshit is suffice. Alaska is also the least educated state in the union. 907 folks are more superstitious, suspicious, religious and retarded than rednecks, rubes, clan members and uppity niggers yonder 48. We're simply dumber 49th state mud fuckers. Due to shit-ass education our state is locked in lower stations and classes like lepers, slaves and untouchables castes. We'll never get out of here alive.

You see, when it comes to omnipotent authoritarian leaders, we Americans cringe at this idea. We elect fellow humans as Chief Executives and when they fuck up, we revel in their demise. When I was a kid I followed the entire Nixon investigation, read the news articles and when the president resigned, I relished his downfall. You coppers also knew I followed the sexual escapades of President Clinton too. His denial that he, "did not have sexual relations with that woman" was fucking hilarious. It also popularized the phrase, "If it's eating, it's not cheating." Porking yer sausage in a bitch's mouth ain't sex, only spooging pussy or ass is construed as sexual relations. Get this, I was too young to vote for Nixon, but I voted for Clinton cuz we were all fatigued with the Reagan/Bush era and Clinton possessed far more entertaining stage presence than old tired Herbert Walker. Seeing Nixon resign and Clinton's impeachment and disbarment brought me tremendous satisfaction. Even a citizen with a stone ear knows the system works.

Don't forget, democracies mandate majority rule. Or better phrased, the majority can be cruel. America is a majority rule mob. Okay it's no longer a mob, we've balanced civil rights and property rights to reflect our top spot in the world as the model of debate, argument and counting ballots to verify outcomes of these messy heated conflicted 50 states and only 2 stinking parties. We've come a long way too. Mind you, the continent was cleared of it's indigenous peoples, loaded with imported slaves of African and Chinese descent and now we gotta muddle through a thick soup of mixing and melting religions, cultures and races. Looking forward, I believe we'll be fine. It's the past that's chunky bullshit, lies, bogus legends and stupid urban myths.

After suffering long stretches at university, here and yonder 48, I'm thinking the old wives' tales and mythical legends are much more pleasant and palatable. The more our religious theologians and biblical scholars dissect dusty Old English texts, Roman and Egyptian hieroglyphs, the more I think I'm gonna barf. History is written by the victors and not by the tortured, enslaved and executed en masse. What's needed is a really crafty liar to recreate a bogus tale that is believable, yet minimizes or camouflages European culpability establishing caste systems, class consciousness and justifying poverty and homelessness with drug addiction, alcoholism and nationally appalling rates of violence. It's nothing we've done, Euro culpability has been erased. It's them fucking niggers, slaves, lepers and indigenous heathens that are so cruel to each other. Pity.

Personally, I prefer the bullshit versions of great daring-do's and valiant triumph over shitty lowlifes because the truths are unappetizing and make us Europeans appear monstrously cruel bastards. Italian diaries and military log books are best burned so we can continue believing that our heroes were awesome, not sick twisted pale-skinned shits. I also believe old southern plantation family diaries and civil war documents are best left in attics never seeing the light of day. We've translated Hebrew and Vatican documents and Dead Sea Scrolls that describe some dude named Pantera doing structural design work in England and we're rightfully terrified that this person may turn out to be the figurehead of churches David Craig, Roy Fields and the Sarge were mentioning just paragraphs back.

Even the first trips from Europe to the New World were more a mission of greed, not exploration. Gold was an unrelenting impetus spurred on by stolen secret maps via old school espionage from the land of ice and snow and massive government military backing. Truth be told, First Nation aborigines became America's first slaves. Not helpful guides. Now, take yer head outa yer ass and heed the value of an accurate history. Humans are fickle and dumb, we prefer not the facts, but wonderful fictional stories we repeat to our retarded children. Human memory is not a passive recorder but a tool manipulated and reconstructed for use in the construction of our selves. The facts are boring or horrifying. History has never been a simple record of the past, but an extraordinary means of shaping European people.

I'll start with a myth I thought was wonderfully patriotic. The tale of Betsy Ross. She was never visited by George Washington and she was never asked to make a flag for our new nation. She also never worked on its design with Washington, nor did she create the first American flag in her parlor. The only documents supporting these concoctions arose from fictional stories made up by her grandson, almost a hunnert years later. Basically, total hoke.

But, the story of Paul Revere's midnight run really fucking occurred and his near-death rallying cry was nearly snuffed. Revere served as principal rider for the Boston's Committee on Safety and truly galloped like a motherfucker to Lexington screaming bloody hell the British were marching onward, fixing to kick some ass, dismember revolutionary soldiers and burn the stumps. Paul Revere's full throttle horseback bell ringing and yelling in a harsh French accent was more heroic than Henry Wordsworth Longfellow's poem depicted nor credited.

The dude, Paul Revere coulda been shot to shit, riding at full gallop, yelling like a bitch in heat. Revere unknowingly raced noisily within easy musket range of the fucking Brits. He even ducked, dodged, zigged and zagged like a drunken equestrian while wimpy subsonic buck and ball ammo whistled by his horse's (and his own) ass. His ruckus kept him from hearing any thumps and cracks of shitty, inaccurate, soggy black powder, old school junker firearms the Brits discovered barely pushed a projectile out the end of a tube on shitty, cold, damp, wet rainy continental nights. The dude ran the gauntlet and his gnarly ass was saved by junk weaponry and wet fucking equipment. On that wet, rainy, stormy night, the Brits definitely did not keep their powder dry nor their dicks hard.

History books are cleaned up, edited and abridged for concision. The Cuban Missile Crisis, Nixon's Watergate Hotel Break-in, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the collapse of the Soviet Union, even the 911 Terror Attacks were extraordinarily complex, messy and back in the day, appeared more like dead babies in a blender doing circular brodies at 200 mph. These historical bookmarks were so confusing to the parties involved that it took years to comprehend what was actually going on and embarrassingly, mostly screw-ups.

Wake up fuckers. No timely news reporting, no Internet and not a single cell phone with live feeds posted on anti-social media. Better put, these supposed moments of great passion were actually crude, stupid fumblings due to limited data during these events. Looking back, with all the supporting and clarifying information these crisis events seem much easier to understand and explain than our own stumbling in the dark. Which is tragically how humans experience life as each second passes.

You've read my snide comments about Abraham Lincoln shipping sick blankets to the Indians. Well, he was making decisions before understanding microscopic bacteria and viruses. His decision was merely a disastrous mistaken unintentional biological warfare on Indians. It just worked out that way. The Civil War was scary and confusing with new battleground tactics and rapid development of new military tech: better firearms and ordinance milling high carbon tempered steel instead of brittle cast iron, railway, telegraph and ship building clad in iron sides. But don't forget, America was still in the stone ages of the medical world. We lost a minimum of 650,000 soldiers in that war not counting the multi-million horribly injured with no accurate recorded estimate of civilian deaths. With our country's population of 30 million in 1860, a comparable loss in population today due to internal civil warfare (350 mil citizens in 2020) would be over 6 million deaths. That's just military combatants with an estimated 20 mil military injuries and civilian deaths.

Another decision Lincoln made was to jail over 30,000 political prisoners that were cheerleaders for secession of the Confederacy. All jailed and detained without any formal hearings, bail reviews or observation of their rights freshly inked in the new Constitution. That sure as shit would piss off the ACLU. When Lincoln announced a draft to build up the United States (northern) Army, there was a riot at the capitol. Lincoln called up the National Guard and authorized the use of live round ammunition. An estimated 3,000 rioters were shot dead. Remember, we hadn't invented non-lethal ammo for another 1.5 centuries.

To put context around the reasons the Civil War started was an explosive clash of greedy economic interests. The South was making moves to become a separate country based on agriculture: tobacco and white gold (cotton). The South dominated the world in both crops producing almost 85% of the world's gross export tonnage making secession most lucrative. A confederate success reinforced old European class systems imported to the new America battling to free ourselves from these same outdated shitty anachronistic cultures. Europe was still a class-ridden society with nobility, royalty, upper crusts, landed gentry versus serfs, share croppers, low lifes, peasants, commoners and working poor struggling to escape the cruelties of an unequal society.

Now here's some historical ramifications had Lincoln not succeeded in keeping America a united emerging superpower. We wouldn't have purchased Alaska just two years after the Civil War in 1867. The United States would've never prevailed in World War II as an established world superpower thus allowing Hitler to make Europe his own shitty playground and Hirohito turning Japan's neighbors into colonial possessions. What's worse is America would've never won the space race to the moon nor facilitated USSR's collapse and bankruptcy later in the 20th century. A fractured America leaves slavery commonplace in Europe, Asia, Russia and here at home. Keep in mind, you'll need every American to shoulder weaponry, side by side with you and I in many more future conflicts around the planet. America's two-party system is a worldwide vulnerability and continual talk of civil war and secession the trappings and niceties of civilized society can fall away like so much ash under the least pressure of the slightest breeze.

Back to poorly rewritten history. We proudly demur Columbus Day celebrations in Alaska. Instead it's celebrated as a remembrance: Indigenous Peoples Day rejoicing native language and aboriginal culture. We shant bitch, locals should be allowed to glamorize their past just like us Norse motherfuckers do every fucking day. Still, I'm not of fan of rewriting ancient Alaska history with revisionist improvements, Alaska has always been populated by peoples suffering economic and dietary shortages. What the fuck. Most of the myth and legend we hear about native peoples in Alaska are tales of overcoming starvation and surviving on clever tricks, ingenious techniques deriving nutrition, clothing and heat from resources no conquering army would ever fucking think of.

When Italy sponsored Christopher Columbus, they were banking on a huge ass return on their royal investment. Spies were sent to infiltrate them Northern maritime savages and bribe or cajole a peek at the now famous Vinland Map. The V was pronounced much harder, called the Finland Map detailing their centuries old trade routes over the ice-free pole and a darned accurate map of the eastern coast line of the New World.

With a good stolen sketch of the Vinland Map and silly tales of gold laying all over the new continent, Columbus set sail. When he arrived on the shores of the Bahamas, native folks came out to see what the fuck washed ashore. Native men and women, clean, dark and handsome swam out to marvel at the approaching vessels. These natives were the Arawaks, the original people of the Bahamas. The Arawaks presented the Europeans with gifts such as spears made of cane, cool garments made of cotton and highly trained domestic birds: parrots. What Columbus was most interested in was the gold jewelry the Arawaks wore as adornments.

Without any grace or manners, Columbus took the Arawaks by force to extract information where all their gold was. This was how our first greetings on America started and it's been all shit ever since. The Arawaks had zero defense to the iron weaponry and no means to protect themselves. From the word "GO" the Arawaks were taken as slave labor and entire mountains were stripped bare in forced searches for gold. Slavery, common European illnesses, mutilation and executions eliminated a third of the indigenous population within 6 months and after a century of European brutality, all the Arawaks disappeared from any of the Islands. Estimates put the number killed at a quarter million first nations, adding children and the elderly that number is more than half-mil with zero survivors. All this achieved by Christopher Columbus a few dozen fucking Italians.

Of course we know that the Caribbean Islands were the source for something more devastating to world peace and world health: SUGAR. With all the natives now dead and zero slave labor, the next logical solution was to go to Africa and fetch some of them stinky darky niggers. European logic at it's best. Pirates we see in silly movies were after more than gold, they were after real treasure and real property: tobacco, cane sugar, premium rum and shiploads of slaves. The cotton industry was still in it's infancy on the mainland but would soon require millions more imported slaves. Hence the slave trade exploded drawing seaman, farmers and liquor distillers to become slaveholders. My ancestry is up to it's neck in these businesses and if we adopt Critical Race Theory, we can escape culpability by painting a rosier picture depicting natives and slaves happily volunteering for this brutality and thoroughly enjoyed being treated worse than fucking dogs. History books will soon be printed with happy, singing slaves lining up for mutilations, brandings, executions and genocide on a global scale.

You coppers know that great ideas are born only in a single mind. Oppression of human beings in the form of slavery, exploitation and genocide require a whole world of cruel motherfuckers. Stupidity requires group think and all of us modern day survivors are victors in the game of mass murder turning our world oyster into a colony filled with free labor and all the resources you can steal.

Belgium today is a quiet peaceful country. This wealthy nation enjoys a rather high standard of living, yet has nearly zero resources on-site. That's cuz they set up colonies all over Africa and like vampires, drained all the metals, minerals and free labor down to a dry titty. Modern Belgians are overwhelmed at their own review of their source of wealth and brutal treatment of the first inhabitants of their possessions. Possession being a wonderful term for resource extraction colonies. Sort of like Alaska.

Belgium has long buried it's historically brutal regime installed in what rewritten school books dubiously titled "Congo Free State." Congo being a vast region in Africa that was a subjugated, tightly centralized and violently oppressed territory specifically designed to extract every ounce of natural resource wealth. Gold, silver, agricultural produce, slave labor and the biggy: rubber. Rubber is the killer of blacks and browns identical to sugar, tobacco and cotton.

This tightly managed slave regime was maintained by violent enforcement of every known cruel atrocity: mass murder, starvation, exposure, disease and sterilization. What I mean by sterilization doesn't imply clean working conditions, I'm reporting castration of both genders on a massive scale. Adding kidnapping for international slave brokers resulting in uprooting of an entire country exterminating 8 million African inhabitants between 1885 and 1906. That's only 11 years. Belgians are almost as bad-ass as America's near complete elimination of Native Americans since first contact with Europe's invasion and utter destruction of a country and it's original residents, replacing them with imported models from the international slave traders and wholesalers.

Pay attention. Russia will deny their eradication of millions of its own citizens and neighbors, Germans are still flummoxed over the NAZI Holocaust and Japan will cover their demonic pointy gook ears refusing to believe it's atrocities, wartime massacres and brutalization of it's Chinese neighbors. I'll only briefly mention Israel's discomfort accepting it's crimes from the massive relocation of Palestinians and Serbia may dissolve amid revelations of it's horrors in Bosnia and the surrounding former countries known as Yugoslavia and Czechoslovakia. Those turd bombs will detonate once school books teach stark truths, not comforting legends and fairy tales.

Even modern Hollywood fiction is pure undiluted bullshit. We've heard a cacophony of wonderful achievements of our ancestral warriors, the Knights Templar. Or in understandable terms that evoke horrors and religious divisions: The Crusaders. "Onward Christian soldiers" marching on a military mission from Western Christendom into Jerusalem. On July 15, 1099 the eventual capitol of Israel, full of Turks, Jews and Muslims was laid siege by the Knights Templar (Crusaders) for a solid month.

As their attack reached its climax, our White Knights overran the city walls and rushed towards the city defenders wielding swords and chopping up Turks, Jews and Muslims to bits and as coup de grace beheading downed darker soldiers. The Crusaders fought their way into the Temple area slaughtering the collapsing Jewish, Muslim and Turkish battlements. Our blessed Crusaders swarmed the entire city and took horses, mules and every scrap of gold and silver and stripped the Dome of the Rock of every single lamp and candelabras for their valuable non-ferrous metallic value. Every corpse laying about Jerusalem was cut open for the coins sometimes found inside the bellies of the dead.

Here's the gross part, the Crusaders (Knights Templar) were near starvation upon their arrival, so they cut up, cooked or smoked and ate nearly all the corpses while singing psalms and biblical hymns. Which was the noisiest aspect of pre-firearm, pre-gunpowder warfare: singing and munching. Sword and spear battles are rather quiet. No guns, no cannons with only the impacts of metal upon flesh in chorus to Christian armies singing religious songs strangely reminiscent of slave hymnals centuries later.

Our beloved Knights Templar, or better known, Crusaders committed a heinous act of rape and cannibalism and created an understandable schism between East and West, Christianity and Islam from Jerusalem all the way to Mexico, America and Canada that never healed, even leading to our modern War on Terror. One ironic point to consider is with our best archaeological research and theological textbooks legible after deciphering hieroglyphs, scrolls and velum texts, we've a sobering front row seat to centuries of Christian terrorism, an ungodly orgy of destruction that stretched to all the continents of the world. All in the name of Christ.

Joseph Campbell wrote a book titled "Hero of a thousand faces." He asserts the notion that historical figures may or may not be more than one single person. Mark Twain thought William Shakespeare was a composite of writers whereas theologians and religious scholars are discovering historical archives that may present data revealing multiple appearances in different centuries by more than one person we've foisted upon our belief systems. In short, with more research and archaeological discoveries we are now drifting towards a troubling reality that our religious figures may well have been a blended hodge-podge of many characters virtuous.

The next piece of history I'm gonna tackle is the complex composites and personalities that make up the character we now call Jesus. A man that according to all our most recent translations of ancient texts, stone carvings, hieroglyphs and artistic pictorials had a couple different birth places, confusing travels and more than one name. Jesus, back in the time of Christ was a man known to his contemporaries as Yesho.

I know, Yesho sounds weird, but his father was known to be a Roman soldier with the family name of Pantera, so his boy was named Yesho Ben Pantera, born in Galilee and not Bethlehem. Matthew believed the old testament was ordained by the prophet Micah that the Jewish Messiah should arise from Bethlehem. Well, Micah was a bit over zealous in his literary creativity. Jesus of Nazareth was actually born there, in Nazareth: a small prosperous Galilean hill town. Yesho (Jesus) was born to Mary who was a Temple Virgin. Meaning not married or attached. Yes that implies Yesho Ben was an illegitimate son and love child of Mary and the Illyrian Roman soldier named Pantera.

Don't assume anything coercive. Pantera and Mary were madly in love and similar to the Romeo and Juliet theme despite a previously arranged marriage succumbed to their passions. You see, Mary was betrothed to a polygamist named Joseph. A wealthy widower looking to collect another wife. As a consequence of his romance with a commoner, Pantera the Roman soldier was transferred to a far away district and Joseph acquired the package deal even allowing Jesus to keep his birth name of Yesho Ben Pantera. Kind of like the Brady Bunch.

We've only ancient Jerusalem census records as evidence to this extra-status, extra-caste illegal romance but we're clear that there was found zero data to support the mythical trek to Bethlehem, no stable, no manger, no cattle, no wise men, no shepherds and no Bright Star. All these attributes were devised by evangelists to create documentation supporting Old Testament beliefs that the boy-child was the fulfillment of commonly held prophecy. All a rather well crafted historical invention and reinforced every year at Christmas.

Here's where scrolls stray away from literary licensed fairy tales. Jesus had several brothers and sisters. He also had some half-siblings from Joseph's marriage to Mary: the broad was a breeding machine. One brother, James bore a startling similarity to Jesus and was constantly mistaken for him. James' likeness to Jesus was reported to be an almost identical twin, mirror image and continued Jesus' gospel after his execution furthering the mistaken identity and persistent myth of Yesho Ben Pantera's reincarnation.

Jesus entered apprenticeship with his uncle Joseph of Arimathea who was a successful builder, not a carpenter. Jesus spent much of his youth and early adulthood working in Sepphoris, five kilometers north of Nazareth. Sepphoris was a larger, modern and cosmopolitan city and Jesus was exposed to Hellenic culture in the form of Greek Theater and Pythagorean mathematics from a highly educated guild of scholars called the Essene. A guild of modern professors of mathematics that spanned the Middle East and Europe as far north as the Druids in Britain.

Get this. Jesus married a girl named Cana who died at birth giving Jesus a daughter. Jesus never remarried and his daughter survived to adulthood but there are no records of her after she took the name of the man she married. It's theorized that after the execution of Jesus, few relatives publicly acknowledged their family connections to him. The Romans were worse then the Nazi's and chased down entire family trees for elimination.

Now pay attention. At the time of Christ more than 80% of the world's population was enslaved, indentured or bonded to a life of servitude. Meaning a shit load of people were denied education and longed for cures to common ailments that simple cleaning and herbal ointments would've easily alleviated. Being a highly educated scholar, Jesus drew thousands of poor, criminal and diseased citizens for enlightenment and miracle cures. Which is exactly what Jesus did. Leprosy is a common bacterial infection that persists to this day. It's commonly cured and cleaned with modern soaps and can be prevented from recurring by simply wearing shoes.

If you recall your history, the poor outcasts of Jerusalem possessed no shoes upon their feet, so leprosy was a persistent blight for homeless beggars walking barefoot on the animal and human fecal soaked streets and walkways across the Roman Empire causing lifelong infections. Hence the lost feet, fingers and noses. Blindness is also a symptom of leprosy attacking the eyes. Here's the piss off. Common wines killed the bacteria, as did most astringents like vinegar, citrus juices and ointments with Mentholatum. Even modern soaps or chlorinated water kills the leprosy bacteria.

Another centuries-old infection that's was formerly incurable is Anthrax. It's a spore that grows naturally in livestock stables and in these conditions can still be contracted by farmers and herdsmen. Anthrax grows in the same manure rich environment as leprosy but only in wetter climes such as Europe and America. To add the list of virulent contagions sickening humans relying on animal husbandry is Bubonic Plague, commonly known as bubosis familiaris and in goat, sheep, cow and horse communities, mice and rats carry the virus all over yer ass that thrive in these environments. One recent outbreak was discovered alongside the Hunta Virus running rampant on the Indian Reservations of America. It's still a pestilence in Central Asia. Better known as Mongolia. No relation to me, a real fucking retarded mongoloid.

These shitty diseases such as leprosy, anthrax and bubosis ain't like AIDS, monkey pox or herpes, they're just livestock manure based bacteria that plagued the unclean, impoverished sick and poor across the Roman Empire 2 to 5,000 years ago. And they're still running rampant among the poorer, unclean, shoe-less citizens surrounding these livestock dependent villages. Our dude Yesho (Jesus) carried a first aid kit with remarkably effective ointments and curative washes and soon was known as a miracle worker for healing the sick and bringing sight to the blind like a camel jockey MASH Unit drawing crowds of extremely undesirable folks we'd look down our noses at and also cover our noses and mouths in their presence. I'm thinking he could've made bank selling NIKE or Adidas shoes to those droves of cripples and stinky crowds.

Yesho (Jesus) is documented to be touring all over Kingdom Come with evidence he traveled all the way to England. Recent translated papyrus scrolls mapped Jesus and his uncle's work travels. Joseph of Arimathea and his nephew Yesho Ben Pantera (Jesus) visited the then-famous massive tin mines of Cornwall, the furthest territories of the Romans and the largest source of metal alloys to the civilized world more than 2,000 years ago. Let me remind you Cornwall isn't a Hebrew city, it's a town located in now what we know as United Kingdom: England.

What's even more striking is historical texts in the Vatican and newly deciphered Dead Sea scrolls support these details that Jesus and his uncle Joseph of Arimathea traveled inland to England's largest seaport of Glastonbury and met with Druid scholars keen to confer with the famous scholar, healer and lecturer. Jesus and his uncle also performed structural design and constructed a building now known as Glastonbury Abbey. After recent archaeological digging our famous architect's Hebrew names are inscribed upon it's foundation. I'd pay good money for those autographs.

It's up to us to scrutinize scattered data and evidence abounding in archives across Europe and the Middle East. Damn good food for thought supporting the blending of higher education with religion. Two trains of thought now vastly separated and specialized, but inseparable 2,000 years ago. The more you Christian soldiers dig into research, you'll find your personal Jesus was much more than the cruel images the Bible paints. Dude was a superstar and with his Roman good looks, a super model better looking than his miserable Heeb kinfolk.

You may ask why the Romans executes Christ. Well the answer is as old as humanity. Educating bottom caste slaves and servants is a capital offense. Literacy amongst slaves was a big NO. Teaching a slave in America to read and write resulted in a hanging for the nigger and a "whoopin'" for the person doing the teaching. We know what hanging yielded, but whipping a white person (tied to the whipping pole) frequently produced a second death. My fossilized, dung-encrusted gramps declared teaching uppity niggers to read would "cost you a perfectly good nigra." This was an American law lasting well into the 1930's. Do the math, this ain't ancient history, it's just a hunnert years ago, or simply put: 3-4 generations from my gramps to your children.

You see, an education facilitated upward mobility and shatters our ancient class systems liberating blacks, natives and high-stepping yellers. The Romans were brutal in their enforcement of this old rule, eventually putting Christ on the cross. Don't forget, religion, folk medicine and technical knowledge was intentionally kept far away from all them pesky servants, slaves, lepers and homeless motherfuckers. Roman Law was explicit: lepers, slaves and outcasts deserved their ignorance, sickness and abbreviated mortality.

Anyone, be they Hebrew, Turk or Muslim breaking this law got you executed upon a cross like a thief and a blasphemous preposterous liar. The cross being a brutal symbol and reminder of Roman Imperialism as was the hangman's noose in the Confederate South. Decorating hillsides with lynched niggers and crucified criminals 2,000 years ago enforced the class structures and caste systems of ancient Rome and in the last century, modern America.

Now add the Alaskan dimension of teaching rural natives. Our comrades at KPD were deprived of a decent education. Superior Court Judge Erlich's son, John was buried in remedial coursework to bring him up to speed with beginning freshman classes at UAF. My work-study job was teaching rural students and you can imagine the discomfort we both felt with me, the long haired instructor, Erlich the impudent student. America's wealthiest receive gold plated educations, uniformed KPD grunts and village scrotes sure as shit don't.

Do you think for a fucking second that schools in the villages are anywhere near as effective as schools in other countries such as Finland? Nup. Bun's dad pushed really fucking hard lamenting the limitations he suffered with his paltry 3rd grade education. Bun's brothers would chide her with "try be white" further convincing bun she had to leave town and get some schooling. That's the ticket presented by boarding schools. In subsequent decades, bun's sentiment cleared a path for Sara to school in Seattle. My parents were part of an experiment where I wanted to see if we could groom and smooth out the rough language, bad manners and chronic illiteracy Sara's age, cultural and race peer groups displayed. We succeeded in elevating a leper, slave and aborigine out of ignorance and poverty.

She completed her BS (bachelor of science) degree in nursing plus a year of practicum floor work and just wrapped up an in-house (in hospital) masters degree program in Hospital Administration. I did my small part in eradicating poverty from Alaska. I've been such a loser for such a long time, I failed to see that I actually succeeded in following the advice from my smarter coworkers. Remember, Roy Fields, David Craig and the Sarge lectured me that I'd achieve a big ZERO unless I exert more than just an ounce of "love reflecting a Christian approach."

In the same suicidal pattern as Yesho Ben Pantera, or better known as Jesus, bun took a prime example of a slave, leper and outcast and started her on her upward mobility into better classes of people and far away from crime, illiteracy, unwed motherhood, illegitimate children, welfare, public health and vastly extended her life expectancy beyond her grandpa and grandma. Bun greatly improved the safety, health and literacy for just one Alaskan native girl that adopted a dumb ass white dude, trusted him to send her out of state.

Now get this. She doesn't consort with the likes of me. She views me as a criminal and untouchable. She even tells her children tales of my work as a swindler, drug dealer, bootlegger, thief and liar. Sara has also instructed her children that her mom always marries sick, violent losers. I never whispered a single word about Gary Los dying in my back room from a cocaine overdose, Keely Jones blowing his brains in his blue Subaru, out in my front yard. I also sure as shit never told anybody but you fuckers about the 3 dead, burned niggers that broke in to our crack house neither. Even by omission, ye can't lie to kids. I'm thinking she might've pulled that voodoo Eskimo 6th sense ESP shit on me and spied my murderous secrets. Fuck her. I scraped crust and scrubbed my blisters, I didn't do shit.

If I hear anybody nailing a crucifix together or assembling gallows for me and bun, we're booking out of state leaving a trail of bread crumbs leading to a large burn pit and my grandpa's sloppy outhouse north of Marysville, Washington. Despite breaking the cardinal rule of teaching Indians to read, we'll likely be treated better outside than by class conscious, caste system entrenched, race sensitive Alaskans.

This is just a story I've assembled and pounded the shit out of for far too long. The bulk of this composition I kyped from my old floppy discs and dusty printouts from Chukchi College and UAF and submitted as heretical archaeological, sociological and well-researched writing. The extraordinarily intelligent dialogue I stole from you coppers, living and dead uniformed grunts at KPD.

You coppers are smart and can detect echoes of conversations from our shifts together, our battles with village schools all contained in a multi-decade review and synopsis. If you hear gallows being assembled or a crucifix with yer names on it being dragged in yer wake, you'll know Roy Fields, David Craig and Sarge were right.

The shit never changes and Alaska is still far behind contemporary science and we're still cursed with perverted missionaries, brutal ignorant miners and invading Europeans like me.

Karl.