Freak accidents are neither. Tragic events? Yup. Can you see where I'm going with this?

Top of the morning gents,

You all assisted on a shit load of ambulance calls but
ain't none of ye seen someone get stuck on a pool
drain.

"I'm melting!" (Wicked Witch West)

I ain't talking a face plant on the super sucker at
the bottom of Lynnwood YMCA or the Yost Pool, I'm
talking about a kid spin-cycling downward slamming on
the bottom of a swimming pool ASS first. Vlad the
Impaler ain't got shit on this one.

For you fuckheads that graduated from Alaska Public
Schools, our old buddy Vlad the Y1K Terrorist put a
stick up yer ass and foisted ye 20 feet in the air
just to watch ye gape down the flag pole, aboriginal
man-vagina first. No cat butt grease neither and yer
teeth and brains spiral up above yer head.

Whole cities were left crucified inside out. Shit
worked and scared all the Normans and Norsemen to a
halt, then do a fucking reverse 180 Rockford.

I wonder if Pink Floyd speculated baby butts and guts
churned awash through the "icy waters running
underground." (Astronomy Domine) Pool drains are just
like a small hole in the shell of an airplane at high
altitude. Shit gets sucked out like watery discharge.

Me and Cully loaded lots of gimps onto the railroad
tracks just to watch 'em flip like fish. What us
serial killers most wish to impress upon our flailing
victims and sperm dumps: is a moment of no hope.

I've frequently sucked pussy so hard I caved in a
bitch's head. Some biscuit I sucked on right inside
the pools I was employed as a lifeguard, swim
instructor and locker room womb stretcher. I never
thought to drown strippers and plant 'em twat first on
a pool drain.

When Drug Dealer Finn has keys to a large public
swimming pool, all his best friends also have a
private pool to swim around after hours whilst REALLY
high on LSD.

Me and Cully loaded up the vans and carted whole
parties to the Lynnwood YMCA to immerse in an Olympic
sized flotation device with Pink Floyd and Tangerine
Dream ambience and lysergic acid screaming in our
eyes. None of us lost our guts to the drain monster at
the bottom of the pool, just lots of brain cells.

Scandinavian miscreants can afford to lose them. AFN
dudes, I Ain't Fucking Native, but I sure could use an
Industrial cunt sucker on all my game meat I butcher.

What a ral gud idea: bun could drop caribou, whale and
walrus ass on draining swimming pools. Addiiga
nigluk-me, SUPER clean iingallocks! Wake up fucks,
this slaughter house abortion vacuum would invariably
make my "drite meet" and "tunnik punniktuk" chores
easier. WAY easier: no shit all over my counters and
floors.

If I could do a draining pool ass drop on all my
shitty game meats, I wouldn't have to gross out and
drool acid every time I gotta pull out fetal land and
sea mammals. I'd probably get slapped by grandma Mag
cuz she "sure like to eat baby caribou still inside."

"Armik deep oochuk tootoolak" Bunnik Grammik tunnik
oossik grimmer.

I still get a boner when really old women beat me:
real young ones too. If you need Viagra, yer still
married. Whiskey dicks are blind as one eyed mice. God
invented whiskey so that ugly women get laid.

"Nair ray veech pickled baby whale-tuk?" "Ah bun, we
sure eat unborn baby whale in Pt. Hope ah?" I'm
thinking Arby's. Or maybe rank doksibuq clooch
biscuit.

Fuck that's gross.

I'll eat Irish pickled pig trotters and Finnish blood
sausage (intestines packed with reindeer blood, oats
and chopped gonads), but I ain't ever put nikkipaq in
my mouth. Shit tastes like black girl pussy, but don't
stink as awful as Trudy Kenworthy shooting ping-pong
balls at ye.

Most cultures just can't digest bovine tundra
afterbirth nor sea mammal butt pussy on Pilot
Crackers. But our wives sure could all right.

Nullick me in the goat ass. As soon as I wash my
bottom and penis ral gud, I can only speak niglikme
tunnik. I sure need a fucking shower. My dick is
telling me I gotta "scrape crust." (Spanky)

Officer Ramoth once told me that native love is 2
black eyes and a hickey. Something wrong here, all us
white niggers ever ended up with is 2 blue eyes and
herpes.

I get it. Us 50-year-old interracially married Casper
coons have dicks so young, they break out periodically
with acne. Actually, my frequent STD's are from
driving farm equipment with a rotten tampon punked in
my dick hole.

Yer all a bunch of fucking fart hammers, graying
gunslingers and dick skinners too.

Read my 2 attached articles. Then gag, choke and puke.


---

Girl, 6, Dies From Swimming Pool Injury
By DOUG GLASS – 1 hour ago

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) — A 6-year-old girl whose intestines
were partially sucked out by a swimming pool drain,
leading to tougher safety legislation, has died, her
family's attorney said Friday.

Abigail Taylor's parents were with her when she died
Thursday at Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha, where
she had surgery in December to receive a new small
bowel, liver and pancreas several months after she was
injured.

She suffered setbacks, including a cancerous condition
sometimes triggered by organ transplants, family
attorney Bob Bennett said.

A hospital spokeswoman, Kara Haworth, confirmed
Abigail's death but said that she could not comment
further and that Abigail's doctors were not available
Friday.

Abigail, of Edina in the suburban Twin Cities, was
injured June 29 when she sat on a wading pool drain at
the Minneapolis Golf Club in the suburb of St. Louis
Park; its powerful suction ripped out part of her
intestinal tract.

Her parents, Scott and Katey Taylor, lobbied for
tougher regulations to help prevent similar injuries,
and in December, President Bush signed a law that bans
the manufacture, sale or distribution of drain covers
that don't meet anti-entrapment safety standards.

The legislation, the Virginia Graeme Baker Pool and
Spa Safety Act, is named for another victim, the
7-year-old granddaughter of former Secretary of State
James Baker. She drowned at a graduation party in
2002, when the suction from a drain pinned her.

Sen. Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn., called the girl "an
inspiration for change" who prodded pool-safety
legislation that had gone nowhere for years.

"I visited her in the hospital, and she just had this
incredible spunk, and was very focused on wanting to
get this bill through Washington," Klobuchar said.

Bennett said the Taylors wouldn't be available to
comment Friday. In November, the family sued the golf
club and Sta-Rite Industries, the pool equipment
manufacturer owned by Pentair of Golden Valley.

Gretchen Koehn, president of the Minneapolis Golf
Club's executive committee, sent a note to club
members notifying them of Abigail's death. The club's
"hearts and prayers" go out to the Taylor family, she
wrote.

Associated Press writers Brian Bakst, Chris Williams
and Frederic J. Frommer contributed to this report.

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iOrEG1rhl1_xMmz10FLwJqvP4iJAD8VI1NPO3

---

Girl Harmed by Pool Drain Last Year Has Died
By Alice Turner
March 21st 2008

Abigail Taylor, the six year old girl whose intestines
were sucked out by a pool drain, has died Thursday
evening at a Nebraska hospital. She had surgery to
receive a new small bowel, liver and pancreas, but
complications from the transplant occurred. She was
injured June 29 when suction from a pool drain she sat
on ripped out her entrails at the Minneapolis Golf
Club in the suburb of St. Louis Park.

Her parents, Scott and Katey Taylor, pushed for
legislation to prevent such accidents in the future.
Last December, Congress approved legislation to ban
the manufacture, sale or distribution of drain covers
that don't meet anti-entrapment safety standards.

"They have held up and been held up for such a tough,
tough road. I just feel terrible for them," said State
Sen. Geoff Michel to AP after the news of Abigail's
death broke.

She is not the only child hurt by poorly designed pool
drains. The 7-year old granddaughter of former
Secretary of State James Baker drowned in a swimming
pool in 2002, after she was pinned by a drain.
Subsequent pressure led to the Virginia Graeme Baker
Pool and Spa Safety Act.

© 2007 - 2008 - eFluxMedia

http://www.efluxmedia.com/news_Girl_Harmed_by_Pool_Drain_Last_Year_Has_Died_15423.html

---

I'm such a fucking idiot. At this moment, I shant beg to differ.

Top of the morning gents,

I am such a dummy. Being a FIRM believer in fuel
additives like HEET, GUM-OUT, STP etc, I assumed my
car, sno-go, kahmoon, and wheeler also had a Viking's
appetite for John Barley Corn (ethanol, liquor). Ain't
happening fuckheads.

Laugh it up faggots, but it turns out that ethanol has
a LOT of water content that is impossible to remove
and rapidly absorbs atmospheric moisture at an
alarming rate. Hence impossible to pump through
pipelines.

Like yer author on drugs (and a moron) I too thought
that since I had a thirst for Jim Beam so great it
cast its own shadow, my Chevy 350 V-8 would chow
major on booze. "I was wrong." (Ron White)

My dog is named Chevy. My wife is named Chevy too.
I'm a mud farmer. And ignorant. "Ye can't fix stupid."

Call me a dumbass, I'll believe anything. A farmer
once told me that his daughter got the clap from
riding in a farm tractor: in her swim suit. Remember,
I'm a mud-grown turd cruncher from Washington so I cut
out his pacemaker and fucked him in the hole. Ted
Bundy was a pussy.

Yup. All the booze we're gonna pump in our E85 farm
Fag-Fuel burners has to be trucked, thus fucking us
Alaskans. I was gonna sell buckets that E85 here on
the Arctic Coast for Eskimos to drink.

Peace out oochuk boys.

Fuck that sounded dumb. I sure ain't coon enough for
ghetto-nupiaq.

I clipped this Alaskan related article cuz I think I
just got my shit straightened out by a fucking genius.
A black genius too.

The best cure for racism and sexism is excellence.

Karlukpuq Nigluq

---

The great corn and ethanol hoax
By WALTER E. WILLIAMS

One of the many mandates of the Energy Policy Act of
2005 calls for oil companies to increase the amount of
ethanol mixed with gasoline.

President Bush said, during his 2006 State of the
Union address, "America is addicted to oil, which is
often imported from unstable parts of the world."

Let's look at some of the "wonders" of ethanol as a
replacement for gasoline.

Ethanol contains water that distillation cannot
remove. As such, it can cause major damage to
automobile engines not specifically designed to burn
ethanol. The water content of ethanol also risks
pipeline corrosion and thus must be shipped by truck,
rail car or barge. These shipping methods are far more
expensive than pipelines.

Ethanol is 20 to 30 percent less efficient than
gasoline, making it more expensive per highway mile.
It takes 450 pounds of corn to produce . . .

(cont'd from front page) the ethanol to fill one SUV
tank. That's enough corn to feed one person for a
year.

Plus, it takes more than one gallon of fossil fuel —
oil and natural gas — to produce one gallon of
ethanol. After all, corn must be grown, fertilized,
harvested and trucked to ethanol producers — all of
which are fuel-using activities.

And, it takes 1,700 gallons of water to produce one
gallon of ethanol. On top of all this, if our total
annual corn output were put to ethanol production, it
would reduce gasoline consumption by 10 or 12 percent.

Ethanol is so costly that it wouldn't make it in a
free market. That's why Congress has enacted major
ethanol subsidies, about $1.05 to $1.38 a gallon,
which is no less than a tax on consumers. In fact,
there's a double tax — one in the form of ethanol
subsidies and another in the form of handouts to corn
farmers to the tune of $9.5 billion in 2005 alone.

There's something else wrong with this picture. If
Congress and President Bush say we need less reliance
on oil and greater use of renewable fuels, then why
would Congress impose a stiff tariff, 54 cents a
gallon, on ethanol from Brazil? Brazilian ethanol, by
the way, is produced from sugar cane and is far more
energy efficient, cleaner and cheaper to produce.

Ethanol production has driven up the prices of
corn-fed livestock, such as beef, chicken and dairy
products, and products made from corn, such as
cereals. As a result of higher demand for corn, other
grain prices, such as soybean and wheat, have risen
dramatically.

The fact that the U.S. is the world's largest grain
producer and exporter means that the ethanol-induced
higher grain prices will have a worldwide impact on
food prices.

It's easy to understand how the public, looking for
cheaper gasoline, can be taken in by the call for
increased ethanol usage. But politicians, corn farmers
and ethanol producers know they are running a cruel
hoax on the American consumer. They are in it for the
money.

The top leader in the ethanol hoax is Archer Daniels
Midland (ADM), the country's largest producer of
ethanol. Ethanol producers and the farm lobby have
pressured farm state congressmen into believing that
it would be political suicide if they didn't support
subsidized ethanol production. That's the stick.
Campaign contributions play the role of the carrot.

The ethanol hoax is a good example of a problem
economists refer to as narrow, well-defined benefits
versus widely dispersed costs. It pays the ethanol
lobby to organize and collect money to grease the
palms of politicians willing to do their bidding
because there's a large benefit for them — higher
wages and profits.

The millions of gasoline consumers, who fund the
benefits through higher fuel and food prices, as well
as taxes, are relatively uninformed and have little
clout.

After all, who do you think a politician will invite
into his congressional or White House office to have a
heart-to-heart — you or an Archer Daniels Midlands
executive?

*Walter E. Williams is a professor at George Mason
University at Fairfax, Va. His column is distributed
by Creators Syndicate Inc., 5777 W. Century Blvd.,
Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045; (310) 337-7003.

Natives sure hate the N-word. Happy Saint Patrick's Day mates, read foul and have a drink on me.

Top of the morning gents,

I gotta quote a dear old friend from my childhood.

"Shit, fuck, bitch, cunt!"

Yup, that's Frank Empfield's modification of Gordy
Kelly's "Jesus Fuck!" and "Fat Jack is a stinky bitch
cunt."

If ye ever want to hear it again, let Spanky drive yer
car. Observe the physic trauma of yer detuned
undercarriage and suspension and those words will come
out yer pie hole. Or green shit will blast forth from
yer butt.

Ya see, us smarter white boys from the Killing Fields
of the Pacific Northwest only swear when surrounded by
loved ones. If your nugger wives are nearby, ye can't
say no native jokes or SLURS, regardless of their
archetypical FAS congenital exposure. Slurred speech
ain’t polite if yer white.

Alcoholism is a genetic disorder that follows family
lineage. Just we ain't supposed to make fun of drunk
monkeys, tard babies, nor fuel soaked darky biscuit.
'Struth, I really ain't married into another family
tree, I thought I saw a wreath and stuck my
wrinkle-free donkey right through the middle of it.
When I pulled out fer more medicines, I looked down at
my big Finn and chuckled Ho, Ho, Ho, Green Giant.

Truth, honesty and swearing are inherently
inseparable. If I ain't radiating fine foul rants,
reads and writes, you ain't my friend. "I'm real
particular who I drink with." (Nick Nolte-Extreme
Prejudice) Why do I lose my best native friends
whenever they sober up?

Just ask any of us squaw boys that rutted in
KikikNigruk darky biscuit. Hence the hilarious neegro
slang, "ye can't turn a whore into a housewife." I mix
metaphors with racism and end up with mud.

Dope or diapers? Fuck it, we're drunk and baked, yet
skating in ice niggershit and iikkee aboriginal
fuckery.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who's the fairest of them
all. You lads. I'm a wigger, yer a wigger. Wouldn't
you like to be a wigger too? (Old Dr. Pepper jingle)

The world is all gone to hell. The world's best golfer
is black. The world's best rapper is white. And a
slave has more voting rights than an albino Norse
abortion.

"Dudes, green beer and green toke." (Janton-KPD
Squadroom-1989) “That’s mighty white of you.” (Clint
Eastwood-Dirty Harry) Besides, we ALL got white dads.

Orders: Celebrate St. Patrick's, get real drunk and
cuss like a white punk on dope. Cuz with a really
clean bottom and penis, it's what you are.

Kiaqpuke Niglik. AK Raper #1. Pretty fucking good
cusser too.

---

Supreme Court to hear FCC appeal of fleeting f-bomb
ruling

By Eric Bangeman Published: March 17, 2008 10:40AM CT

Under the leadership of Chairman Kevin Martin, the
Federal Communications has shown an increasing
willingness to fine broadcasters for indecency. The
Supreme Court has announced that it will step into the
fray, as it will hear the FCC's appeal of an lower
court ruling that barred the agency from fining
broadcasters for "fleeting expletives."

The case dates back to a November 2006 FCC ruling that
fleeting expletives broadcast during prime time
violated indecency and profanity prohibitions. The
swear words in question were uttered by the likes of
Cher and Nicole Richie during the 2002 and 2003
Billboard Music Awards broadcast on Fox. The network
immediately challenged the ruling in court, saying
that the FCC's failure to issue clear standards left
the network unsure what was and was not appropriate.

During the hearing at the US Court of Appeals for the
Second Circuit, the judges seemed skeptical of the
FCC's claims that issuing clear guidance would amount
to censorship. It didn't come as much of a surprise
when the court said that fleeting expletives were okay
in a June 2007 ruling.

In its 2-1 ruling, the court found that the FCC's
policy was "arbitrary and capricious" and that the
Commission failed to "articulate a reasoned basis for
its change in policy." The opinion also raised
questions about whether the FCC's policy would pass
constitutional muster. Martin's response to the
decision was both blunt and furious, as he called the
court "divorced from reality."

The Supreme Court will hear oral arguments next fall
in what will be the first broadcast indecency case
taken by the court in 30 years. That 1978 case, FCC v.
Pacifica Foundation, resulted from a New York radio
station's 1973 airing of George Carlin's "seven dirty
words" routine. There, the Court ruled that the
broadcast was indecent, but not obscene, and gave the
Commission the authority to crack down on indecent
material during hours when children are likely to be
watching TV.

Impetago, measles, mumps, chicken-pox, and God knows what else: we've had it. Mom, touch me, I'm sick.

Top of the morning gents,

Old-fashioned farts is us. We got Indun sick when we
were kids: so what. We ain't bitching. We can't bitch,
aside from our own dark skinned wives and less wit
children, we fucking ain't minority buttfuckers.

Perma-white devils like us deserve every fucking
illness and virus on the planet, cuz we're white. And
to mutate and transmit the virus that finally
eliminates us lot: drunk assholes, jerk-offs and bar
fly smart-assess.

Bun says I ain't just white trash, I'm SUPER white
trash.

Go native? Nup, fuck you and eat my koomucks. When I
paid the magnum child a hunnert bucks for each and
every 'A' on her report card, her half-primate
half-FAS half-sister taunted her with the well worn
Inupiaq reservation mantra and common sense: "trying
to be white." And meant it.

Fuck me running. Since when was being clever and
bright, such a bad thing for dark eyed mongoloids like
our nugger children?

Yup, that's us. Our smartness hinges on skin hue and
hence the definition of the word 'primitive cultures'.
Get it? Primate cultures infecting our dumber darker
wives: for us to dissect and piss on. Plus you got
your pick of biscuit-proofed with a large number of
tard vil chitlins that look an AWFUL lot like yer ass.
You porno monkey fuckers’ offspring represent the
entire rainbow of skin color, dick size and brain
power: In a non-gay, yet FAS criminal way. I checked
the criminal records of all yer kids-REAL criminal
genius midget fucks. Genius skips generations and cop
kids are shit.

Alas, during this millennium, us fair-skinned fairies
might be the sharpest tools in the toolbox, but we're
the palest neegroes, so our intelligence is unfairly
weighted towards the normal ape butt. Meaning dumber
down over there young man or we'll dye yer hair and
Special Ed yer European hide darker. Adii, you can
lead an Indun girl to Vassar, but you cannot make her
think.

Fuck me. If I lied and checked off one just ONE of the
mud race boxes on my UAF entrance exams, I'd be as
smart as a whole solar system. Up Chuck U alumnus with
super high-test scores: fuck me in the goat ass, I'm
non-native, non-neegro, non-hispanic and non-femTwat.
Dudes, the way I see it, all you white motherfuckers
qualify as "non-everything." Yer diet, unleaded and
free of dyes and perfumes. Ghost plain and white ass
shiny albino motherfuckers: non-everything makes ye
100% alien. My Siberian wife swears that an alien
invasion requires billions of transparent demonic
white folks. Silver skinned niger mukes with honker
mud flaps and no end to their glow in the dark dicks.
My squaw is smarter than yers. I bought her on a
Wednesday.

My Uncle Charlie told me that eating nuveevuks,
puturooks and mingeoks were aboriginal intoxicants
like blue mice. Well if that were the case we'd be
like our inlaws tripping balls and crapping in a
bucket. But no getting high on micro-toxins, I just
suck down RSV and village influenza like discharge on
an oyster shell. Hep A, Herp 007, staff infections,
virulent spittle and cut skin MRSA combat has been and
SHALL be visited upon yer sick pale devil hide.
“Stupid fucking white man.” (Mr. Sparrow-UAF). We sick
vil fuckers get the shit don't we?

We lost our Arctic Sounder Editor to devastating
illness. Expatriate syndrome dudes: Croatian malaria,
Serb. pox, Chechnya TB or anything else ye all snorted
up your donkey spitters. He's in a better place now. A
place called Portland.

Imagine adding Alaska or Africa to all yer hunnert
fucking STD inoculations, now that would be a resume
booster. Y'all survived the plague merely losing only
75% of your family tree to lethal rings ‘round posies.
Northern European surviving descendants of the plague
also share immunity to HIV. So fuck it, let’s go to
Africa and bring home some serious nationwide nuclear
Indun killers. Just like old times. Dudes, the grim
reaper got serious dick.

Commander Craig suffered years of Hep medicines from
the NANA region and advised me to avoid airborne
sputum, sneeze rain and anal spittle. At all cost.
Good jailer advice.

I got shit soaked a hunnert fucking times cutting down
suicides with Fields, Ramoth, Mashburn and Kosloff and
lugging shot dogs for you gun happy KPD AST maniacs.
Until you get shit soaked wrestling with a leaker,
like mouth to mouth on a dead bitch: Craig’s advice
seems moot and redundant.

Pussy responders now got bile and vomit masks: fuck me
running. Over the last 30 shitty years I sure spit out
a lot of other nigger’s bitter puke out my pie hole. I
done MORE mouth to mouth on choke and puke dead people
than all of ye. I can revive crack whores and natives.
My Siberian Mrs. has watched me breathe life back into
a hunnert sick bitches. She’ll swear, “Fucking Jesus
ain’t got nothing on Karluk.” No shit, if Trox or the
Shackles ain’t ‘round, call me and bun. That is,
provided you unintentionally shot yer Indun wife.

Before moving to KikikNigRunt to addict legion, I ran
a crack house. If you go all buckwheat on us and you
shoot yer wife, you get to suck yer own round out her
ass. If ye just need 7-Lakes disposal, call me before
the dogs begin to smell her.

It sure feels good to feel good: know what I mean Lem?
I fucking wasted 2+ weeks of perfectly good bitch cold
freezer walks and talks: fucking dying from the flu
like a midget runt Indun snuggled up in Abe Lincoln's
custom sick pox blankies. Flu so painful ye wished to
be a good Indun and just fucking die.

Once way back a few years in Mountlake Terrace, me,
Higbitch and Troyous caught a really awful nasty flu
from horking down bong rips with only 311 other drug
addicts. Fucking felt like Kobuk AIDS. Being barely
over the drinking age, that flu truly killed small
children, so we were glad to get over that one. Not
pretty. We threw up in our mush, so to speak.

Some Edmonds strains of lung virals almost kilt us
rural mud fuckers with raging temperatures and
herpetic blistering. Diseases with genitally
disfiguring symptoms that made drug dealing a bitch.

"Could it be I had the flu for Christmas, cuz I'm not
feeling up to par." Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.
All of us virally infected sick albino fuck wads were
comparing levels of aspirin, cold remedies,
liquor/cocaine cough syrup and vitamin content in our
runny shits.

I needed sauna, so I unrolled a futon pad in the grow
room, disabled the timers, killed the exhaust fan,
then sprayed all the plants with plain tap water and a
few granulars of Miracle Grow.

For a week I let that stadium lamp cook. No shit, I
baked my ass for an unknown number days in a 24 hour a
day super bright fucking BC tanning salon. My remedial
fertilizer was homemade 7% solution.

I’m lying. Like a hunnert returning Rip Van Winkles
with AIDS, Dennis and Marto had a get well soon
Herp/Hep/TB party and for days, served up to an 8-ball
of slag and left over drugs dissolved in one fifth of
101 proof Turkey. We were so sick we couldn’t smoke
shit. We couldn’t snort medication if we wanted to
neither. But addii, we could sure drink ah bart? Yoy.

So the basturd bartenders: Marto and Dennis helped the
universe plagued with a delicious patent snake oil
poison remedy recycling leftover crack, free-base cake
and sick powdered toot serving it all right back to
sick Puget Sound drug dealers mixed in hard liquor. If
cocaine came in soda pop, why not in LOTS of aged corn
liquor?

To avoid disclaimer suits, I'm almost 50 and viruses
mutate as fast as my drug habit. Rubella, mumps
whatever, liquor and cocaine-shaken not stirred-works,
so kiss my dick.

Bacterial and viral attacks shorten organ life almost
as fast as alcoholism and nicotine exposure, which
means we fuckers suffered like miserable rasty rat
fucks. Give it a name, but this new “Brisbane 10
Influenza” sounds a lot like Hong Kong Flu or German
measles, but shit, yer still sicker'n a basement full
of dead Lynnwood prostitutes.

In familial tense, hugs and kisses on heaps of sick
natives over at Samuel Simmons Memorial Hospital is
totally acceptable. Ye gotta dig the 'Memorial' part
of the clinic name: its stupid niff code for
"infection connection." Go in for Hep douche, walk out
with Elephant-titis of yer dick. Yup, me too. I know
what all ye been talkin' about, BIA hospitals are
really neato. My viruses ALWAYS win.

At my coaxing, me and bun went in for our annual
10,000 mile tune-up. No faggots, not a pap smear and
mammogram, I call it my 'crap smear and mud flapOgram.
The Doc smashes my gonads till they're flatter'n tits
on a board then takes a lateral x-ray. After the IHS
x-ray tech realized my nuts weren't big hairy tits,
she yelled at me to get outa the OB/Gyn clinic.

Man I got hard at all them naked ladies putting their
hooters in them photo-vices and sitting all cool atop
tables with built-in 'eat me' stirrups. When my BIA
doc requested a sperm, urine and fecal sample, I leapt
about like a Chernobyl ape butt swinging my ugly dick
like a propeller, then pitched my underwear at me doc.
Fuck I'm funny.

Trust me, hang out in a BIA village clinic and hug my
in-laws: you'll look like a house landed on yer
sister.

Anyways. It's good to be healthy again. Now we can do
LOTS of drugs.

At Kiaqpuk’s Nigloo.

PS. Have a drink on me. We got heavy equipment up the
ass. UIC and SKW are building Barrow’s new hospital:
big realty wood dudes. “It’s a beautiful day in my
neighborhood” (Fred Rogers-notorious homo and tunnel
rat).

---

Mumps threatening to make a comeback in Finland


Whilst it is hardly endemic, mumps seems to be making
a bit of a comeback in Finland. Last year, six cases
of mumps were identified, four of which occurred in
September-December, one case per month.

In 2006 and 2005 eight and six cases of mumps were
reported respectively. Before that, however, the
number of annual mumps cases has been considerably
lower. For example, at the turn of the millennium not
one single case was diagnosed.

And this was how it should be, for steps had been
taken to eradicate the illness altogether.

The incidence of mumps started abating when the MPR
vaccine was included in the general immunisation
programme. The MPR vaccine (also sometimes known as
the MMR vaccine) provides immunisation against
Measles, Mumps (Parotitis), and Rubella (German
measles).

The vaccination campaign practically eliminated these
diseases from Finland.

In fact, Finland was the first country in the world to
wipe out these three common childhoos ailments,
Professor Heikki Peltola from the University of
Helsinki notes in his new book on children's health.

"We have no reason to be lulled into thinking that
this pleasant situation will automatically continue,
however. We will only stay clear of measles, mumps,
and rubella if a minimum of 95 percent of the children
are reached year after year and all suspicious cases
are responded to swiftly", Peltola emphasises.

The innocent sounding measles is still a serious
threat to the children of the world. The World Health
Organisation calls it the greatest killer of small
children.

The year before last, it was estimated that 27
children died of measles every hour.

Through vaccination campaigns, though, measles - which
is regarded as one of the most contagious illnesses -
has been got under some sort of control.

In 2000-2006 nearly 500 million children in countries
particularly ravaged by the illness received
immunisation against it.

This resulted in a massive 68-percent reduction in
measles-related deaths. In Africa the percentage was
even higher, 91%.

Mumps is usually contracted when travelling abroad,
says special researcher Irja Davidkin of the National
Public Health Institute. Of those that contracted the
illness last year, only one had been vaccinated
against it. The rest had already passed the infant age
by 1982, when the mass MPR vaccinations were
introduced.

Davidkin points out that the illness is still
extremely rare, even if the number of cases has
increased slightly.

"The situation is still very good, thanks to the good
coverage of the immunisation scheme."

A vaccinated person contracting the illness is
explained by the fact that the MPR vaccine does not
provide as complete protection against mumps as it
does against measles and rubella.

In recent years there have been mumps outbreaks among
those vaccinated against it in the United States and
Canada.

As a consequence, a research team led by Heikki
Peltola looked into the efficiency of various mumps
vaccines. The vaccine used in Finland proved 95-per
cent effective.

"An epidemic may be caused by a virus strain different
from the one that the vaccine was originally developed
against, in which case the protection is not equally
good", Davidkin adds.

Mumps, measles and German measles were commonplace in
Finland into the 1960s - illnesses that practically
all children woulde succumb to, even if they did not
actually manifest clinical symptoms.

Though sometimes dismissed as "childhood infections",
and in most cases passing over with a week or two off
school, these were not innocent or harmless illnesses
by any means, with possible knock-on effects and
complications.

To give a simple example, rubella contracted in early
pregnancy was an indicator that the child might be
born with congenital rubella syndrome (CRS), a range
of serious incurable illnesses.

Equally, measles in adulthood often leads to more
serious complications than among children. Measles is
still a significant cause of child mortality in many
developing countries.

http://www.hs.fi/english/article/Mumps+threatening+to+make+a+comeback+in+Finland/1135233878366

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