Monday, November 17, 2008

Gun accidents. Hell, nobody's perfect: especially us ill tempered Arctic squaw boys.


Top of the morning gents,

I want ya'll to start yer week with yard wide smiles and yard long dicks. I'm gonna throw some pot head's brains into the blender, add bourbon and bongers. Now, wipe yer eyes and scrape crust and read onward Christian soldiers.


I'm laughing from memories my dear murderous motherfuckers. As stated before, cop kids are shit and so are drug dealer spawn, but damn: who are we to point our pock-marked dicks at others? Some of the dumb shit things we've all dun with our Dirty Harry nigger shooters clearly indicates we're no better'n stupid gits.

Hear ye. Cunt shite is us. And God's children. Sick as we is, truly bad playhouse is my childhood recollections.

Sorry for bringing up such a sensitive subject, but the sun finally set for 2 months and it's well below zero on my long walks to check mail, bank deposits and AC store fer grub, I again feel rehearsed bullets in me hurting hands, fists and feet. Looking at all you graying gunslingers, I see I ain't the only one with sore everything.

After that gun battle in front of the fucking Ivanoff house, John's hands probably hurt like hell but the bullets in the old jail ceiling light fixture, patrol car door or Colonel Waller's phantom explosion whilst carrying a pistol next door to the old Squadroom and Evidence hurt even worse.

I cackle evil majorly that a hot load +P+ 9mm barely missed BOTH of Brenda's giant dairy milker breasts and blew out the Erlich television. Come on, the Bull's Eyes on them big Cadillac caliber fun bags shoulda been easy targets.

John swears her ever expanding boobs had it coming. He's still pissed he missed, he thought they'd pop like water balloons and wash all blood evidence away with a hunnert gallons of milk. Someone oughta tell Brenda's humoungous jugular hooters to stop staring at my eyes. Her nipples are bigger than the heads of yer dicks. More productive too.

Stop that. That's gross.

I never thought to shoot a bitch's Alaskan sized Gazongas off. I just rip their lips off creatiung great cunt-whore-bitch drama. That is, if you've got a Noorvik or Edmonds sense of humor.

Fuck you. As I speak, my right ankle throbs from fuck head Pim's bad aim and my left neck hurts from a nasty fall onto a SUPO cop's rifle butt. Ye see, like me broski Marto International hath quoth: I don't know when to shut my fucking mouth. Yacking when I shoulda been more silent than my long burnt and buried crack whore parasitic Terracite girlfriends.

You fuckers are lucky Toby didn't dump a round through yer hand thus creating a metaphoric Jesus whistle. Tobus has a temper and friends and loved ones invariably get hurt. Or shot.

For the record, I'm the worst offender in this blame game of gun accidents. One time I shot out my own car window, then in a nervous twitch I almost shot my own foot blasting rocks on my partner's pants. "Kill yer partners Max. Give us channel 83" (Videodrome).

One stray bullet meant for my head screamed through a drug caked wall shattering Spanky's coffee pot and lodged in a bag of Arnie Girl's weavel infested flour. Another stray bullet missed Stephanie's smelliest bits, perforated the Apgar bucket shack wall and brought a shit eating grin upon Westlake and Blanchard's face.

Me, Ken and Kim's too. The bitch was begging for beat down and smoked brain mist out her pie hole. "I don't know, I was really drunk at the time" (Pink Floyd). Too bad we didn't accidentally shoot our dumber wives. That'd save me from breaking some hard ass news to y'all where ye got yer herpes from.

Yup. You boys dunked yer donkeys in Nurse Diesel and the Herp Queens' turd cutters. Merely because I did. Then moved to Kotzebue. Simple. Now you all got it too.

Ya see, the Kiana strain herpes is really HIV the started with my appetite for white trash Lynnwood girls. On dope. When I switched to reservation dark meat, you bush rat cops all started blowing boogers out yer dick hole.

Connect the dots there Mr. Sesame Street in the short bus, us invading white nigger Euro trash have convinced ye that the devil don't exist in our dicks. All of our fathers are European killers.

Like Smokey the Bear sayeth, "Only you can prevent forest fires and blistered dicks." And "Not all blisters are from Burns, 616." Some are from the misuse of tissue yonder Snohomish County. Like that?

Gun accidents don't simply happen to us all, they've followed us all the way from our country of origin, ye can't outrun stupid. WTF. Might as well go for a soda. And leave a hunnert dead retards in yer wake.

Remember, the sign Marto and Denz put up at the entrance of 7-Lakes: "Dead nigger drop off" (Quentin Tarantino-Pulp Fiction). My gramp's place North of Marysville is a great place to dispose of crack niggers that mistakenly believed we wouldn't disappear thieves caught forcibly entering our very own mortuary.

The bottom of ancient outhouses and amidst tall trees is also a great place to ditch accidentally shot dead junkie bitches. Have any of you guys seen Tish, Paula or Renee recently? I don't agree with OJ Simpson, but I understand.

The reason I don't fuck women my own age is cuz they look like my grandmother and continually order me around with, "Karl. Make tea!".

Don't let me pass out with the shop vac on my dick and don't take me too seriously.

I'm such a dickweed, goat milker on drugs too.

Karluk.

---

Two men are shot as gun is being cleaned

The Associated Press

Published: November 15th, 2008 04:52 AM
Last Modified: November 15th, 2008 04:43 AM

WASILLA -- Two Wasilla men are recovering from an accidental shooting that occurred while a gun was being cleaned.

Alaska State Troopers say 23-year-old Joshua Jones was cleaning his semiautomatic pistol Thursday evening when the weapon accidentally discharged.

Troopers say the bullet went through Jones' left hand and then struck 26-year-old Clayton Naczi in the thigh.

Both men were taken to Mat-Su Regional Medical Center. Troopers say the men are in stable condition.

---

-------------------------------------------------
Location: Wasilla
Case number: 08-94224
Type: Accidental Discharge of a Firearm

Text: On 11/13/2008, at approximately 1939 hours, Alaska State Troopers
responded to a victim with a gun shot wound to the leg on Bank Circle in
Wasilla. An investigation revealed that Joshua Jones, age 23 of Wasilla,
was field stripping his .45 caliber semi-automatic pistol when the
firearm accidentally discharged. The bullet penetrated Jones' left hand
and proceeded to strike Clayton Naczi, age 26, of Wasilla, in the thigh.
Both Jones and Naczi were transported by EMS to Mat Su Regional Medical
Center for treatment. Both subjects are in stable condition. Alcohol and
drugs are not considered to be factors in the incident. No foul play is
suspected. The incident is currently under investigation.

Author: KSB0
Received Friday, November 14, 2008 3:14 AM and posted Friday, November 14, 2008 3:06 AM

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