Friday, October 17, 2008

Tis the season to be merry and help yer inlaws kill themselves.

Top of the morning gents,

'Bout fucking time. Wretched brief break from last winter some chicken chokers call summer, punctuated with mucho NANA neegro delicacies: mud, bugs and drugs.

Goddamned snow all summer with icebergs bumping and thudding like morbidly chunky Alaskans afuck. Yup. Welcome to Barrow. The home of higher class nigerians, pale zombies and inbred sober people. Like that?

"Addii Karlukmun, you sure immik too much. We should go to Anchorage or Fairbanks just so you can sober up" (grandma mag).

As already stated, out here way North of 70 lat, I tend to take better care of myself. Subfucksistence diet, walks far niglukmee and mailok-si con canine y pistolero. Somedays I'm one hung over motherfucker too.

My goat milker habits will be the death of me. Awake at 5:00am brewing coffee and bong hits, CNBC TV and computer streamings with mushuk, then off to yonder frozen tundra to take the guns for a walk: all by 0700 moron hours.

If I had any hangover when I arose, it's long fucking gone after I walk my dick off, wipe down the dogs and feed and water the guns.

I'm entering dark territory niggers. Barrow's sun is soon to set till IRS day and this fucking armed and impaired vampire ain't falling prey to no prowling christians nor glue head natives. As the chief always said, "You can never go wrong with guns." God I love the way that man thinks.

Goddamned Kraut Columbo is pissing and shitting all over Holland, Michigan. WITH his guns I hope. I spied thou arsenal Columbo, nice Browning products, a couple off-brand bastard goodies too: shit he 'fused to sell me. Greedy bitch.

All guns are beautiful and the best gun in the world is the gun I got in my hand. Fuck all. I drag my dirty hairy nigger shooter with me to the post office and the bank, but seldom the courthouse, that's a little bit illegal. Besides, my gun bag is recycled shwag from the hospital loaded with that 44 blackhawk, uncle Mike's 12 count velcro bullet belt, binoculars, combat knife and pepper mace.

My possibles bag is better described as my camp pack. This dog can hunt.

I hear yer objections to single action pistols, but I cain't shoot as well with shorter, lighter and smaller ordinance repeaters. A heavy long barrel with lots of snoose fits this Finn perty gud. I'm a lousy shot with most guns: this cannon finds every target I squint, pucker and aim my scroat at.

Seeing and hearing after I touch off a few rounds with this dandy cannon only further adds to my already awful hearing. So my bird hound, retriever and hunting dog functions as eyes and ears for this deaf motherfucking Finn. She also functions perty dern gud as a wife.

Got Squaw? Yup. She gives me wood too.

Y'all chump ass coppers keep yer dick hard and powder dry. Keep reading my shit and your stomach will turn.

Karluk Nigluk Puq-Oosik.

PS: Here's the link: ALL Christmas all the time. Christmas Broadband is my favorite.

Or good oldy moldy shite: Cuz we're really fucking old and confuse KOTZ with KZOK for fuck's sake.

**Did you know that today is National Make Fun of the Handicrapped Day?


Originally published October 17, 2008 at 7:50 AM

Tacoma Goodwill fined for worker death

The state fined Tacoma Goodwill Industries nearly $50,000 for safety violations that contributed to the death of a developmentally disabled worker.

TACOMA, Wash. —
The state fined Tacoma Goodwill Industries nearly $50,000 for safety violations that contributed to the death of a developmentally disabled worker.

The 27-year-old man, Nick Miller, was crushed April 15 by a machine that lifts trash into a compactor.

The Tacoma News Tribune reports the Department of Labor and Industries found that Goodwill failed to properly train and supervise disabled workers and failed to make sure the trash-tipping machine had emergency stop controls.

Tacoma Goodwill CEO Terry Hayes disputes the findings and says it will appeal. She says Goodwill has worked with the department in the past and inspectors did not find problems with the trash machine or ask for special accident prevention training for disabled workers.


Police investigate gas-pipeline blast

Police are investigating an explosion targeting a gas pipeline on the British Columbia-Alberta border.

It was the second explosion targeting a gas line owned by EnCana this week.

Sgt. Tim Shields said Thursday that the explosion detonated overnight appears to be a deliberate act. He says the blast left a crater in the ground under the natural-gas pipeline, which was damaged but did not rupture.

Police say the explosion seems to be related to one earlier this week when a sour gas pipeline owned by EnCana was bombed, about 31 miles east of Dawson Creek, B.C.

Selah, Yakima County


Seattle (or Buckland Deering some shit)

A 42-year-old woman was stabbed in the chest in a southbound car on Interstate 5 Thursday afternoon and later died at Harborview Medical Center, a police spokesman said.

A 42-year-old man, whom police believe to be the woman's boyfriend, was arrested and booked into King County Jail, said Seattle Police Department spokesman Mark Jamieson.

The woman was a passenger in the front seat of a car shortly before 4 p.m. when she was stabbed by a male passenger in the back seat as the car was on I-5 near North 92nd Street, said State Patrol spokesman Curt Boyle.

The male driver is being questioned as a witness, Jamieson said. Homicide detectives are investigating, he said.

Traffic on I-5 was backed up seven miles for about two hours while police responded and paramedics worked to save the woman's life.

All lanes were opened around 6 p.m., said Department of Transportation spokesman Sean McDermott.


Lucky this fucker ain't got skank native cooter stashed back in Kotzebue

Man pleads guilty in smuggling case suspected drug smuggler who turned himself in after 15 years on the run pleaded guilty to money laundering Thursday morning in U.S. District Court in Tacoma.

By Noelene Clark

Seattle Times staff reporter

A man who turned himself in after 15 years on the run pleaded guilty to money laundering Thursday in U.S. District Court in Tacoma.

Frank Falco, 58, faces up to 20 years in prison and a $500,000 fine, said U.S. Attorney's Office spokeswoman Emily Langlie.

In 1992, Falco and several co-conspirators smuggled 50,000 pounds of hashish from Pakistan into Southwest Washington and then to Oregon, California and New York, according to the plea agreement.

In the elaborate scheme, Falco was in charge of distributing the millions of dollars from the drug sales, according to the U.S. Attorney's Office.

Falco and others fled to Mexico after a federal grand jury indicted several suspects in 1994, but four conspirators, including Falco, have since been arrested, according to the U.S. Attorney's Office.

In 1998, Robert Tillitz was arrested in Mexico, extradited and convicted by a federal jury in Tacoma in connection with the smuggling operation. He served more than 10 years in prison.

In April 2007, Jeffrey Warren was arrested and extradited. He pleaded guilty in January 2008 and is scheduled to be sentenced Nov. 21 in U.S. District Court in Tacoma.

Richard Harrison surrendered at the U.S.-Mexico border, pleaded guilty in Tacoma and was sentenced April 11 to 21 months in prison followed by three years of supervised release.

Falco is scheduled to be sentenced Jan. 9.

"Frank Falco was able to live free for 15 years on the profits of his illegal venture," said Arnold Moorin, special agent in charge of the Drug Enforcement Administration in Seattle. "The time has come for him to settle up with the justice system and pay for his past acts."

Noelene Clark: 206-464-2321 or

Copyright © 2008 The Seattle Times Company


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