Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Happy PFD day. Ya better save that check for your next stove oil fill up.

Top of the morning gents,

"Yowza, yowza, yowza." "I got it all together now, with my very own disco clothes." "My shirts half open to show you my chain and the spoon for up my nose." (F. Zappa-Dancing Fool)

I'm sorry to report your bootleg liquor, meth, weed and cocaine budgets will all be going towards heating and power this winter. Instead of wasting native money on overpriced ghetto junky vitamins (drugs) all our browner brethren will be forced to sober up in order to pay through their nose and afford their utility bills.

If you buy that, I'll split yer rectum from stem to stern. That is, if you weren't already born and raised in rural Alaska, then yer punked starfish has already been gaped by yer funny uncles' fart hammers and older brothers stink fists.

Have ever seen a native child's ass deformed by an in-law’s bread boffer? That's what yer ass will look like after you pay your utility bills this winter.

I just finished watching the US Farm Report, then switched channels to catch CNBC interview our Natural Gas and Heating Oil industry leaders warn us that energy bills will likely increase by 50% this winter: maybe even double.

-These devastating price hikes will be above the already historic and high prices we're experiencing today. This is gonna hurt men, really hurt. Since none of us is poor, we shant give one shite for our miserably deprived fellow native brethren whom have to burn stove oil diesel for electricity and heat.

Conservation is only actualized when crude based energy prices soar way up near alternative, exotic and expensive energy sources like wind and solar garbage. All alternative energy sources are far too expensive for poor folks and I refuse to subsidize anybody's power costs with tax dollars. Alaska's PCE (power cost equalization) subsidies are being stripped each and every year, so get used to paying your fair share you maggots.

Most of you coppers and emergency responder dudes working in rural Alaska are paying outlandish prices for electricity, heating oil and gasoline. Barrow's sole gas station owned by Eskimos Inc. just raised our gasoline price to $4.00 a gallon.

Try operating multi-cylinder motors above 2.0 liter (121 cid) displacement with fuel prices off the fucking hook. Most Jap motors range in displacement from 1.8 liters (1800 cc) to 2.6 liters (2600 cc) while American trucks and SUV's are all more than twice this size and even less efficient in ratios plethora.

Now try to keep your boat fuel tanks topped off.

You may recall the loser days of our youth when our peanut farming and lefty liberal disappointment Jimmy Carter refused to bribe the Saudi Government with more jets and OTH missile tracking technology. So, they stopped selling America fuel at below market prices and embargoed our sorry adolescent auto maniacal American fat asses.

Whenever you gripe about the US greasing the palms of Saudi Royals with defense tech goodies, the pay back to us is crude oil prices cheaper than the rest of the world. No other country has the killing machines we make, so their crude oil delivery contracts are roughly double what we pay.

I had to shell out $7.00 a gallon for petrol in Finland and even more in the UK while most of the rural Russian villages I eat and drank, shit and pissed in simply had zero fuel nor electricity all throughout the winter months.

Vladivostok, Yakutsk and Magadan all burned sulfur and salt rich coal for heat, candles for light and all cars and trucks stayed parked and frozen. That was one of many occasions I missed living in the country that is the largest manufacturer of military equipment in the world.

Yes, I too wish international foreign policy was dictated by the league of women voters, but it ain't, it's cruel, greedy and hardball. As long as most of the world is uneducated and overly religious democracy is only a myth legitimized by us folks blessed with the God given right of free speech and citizen choices of governors and consumer spending decisions.

Due Process doesn't equal Due Product.

Energy policies always dovetail with issues of sovereignty and our American belief that we deserve the highest standard of living outside of the Nordic countries AND the world's cheapest energy prices.

Now India and China believe they too deserve American sized cars and American sized houses with energy consumption levels accordingly. Bet you didn't know that your house consumes more energy and emits more pollution than all your cars combined.

I'm still stumped where in hell China and India are gonna get all the lumber to build all these 2nd world homes. When blow job Bill Clinton signed the executive order limiting logging on federal lands, the world lumber purchasing agents and brokers simply went south and bought 600% more lumber from the Rain Forests of South America and the Amazon Basin.

The ultimate human demise will occur the day we create 3 more problems by trying to solve just one contrived problem.

This is a perfect example of trying to save our harvestable and renewable old growth timber reserves only to see massive logging increases in more sensitive areas worldwide. Logging increases lacking EPA oversight and re-seeding policies yielding horrific erosion and washouts the season after the Rain Forest and Amazon Basin are clear cut and stripped clean.

In our resource hoarding endeavors, we've reached a point of perfection and homeostasis. Allowing prices to skyrocket as supplies shrink and demand explodes may force more shit ass poor people to shiver in cold ghetto grottos, but these same extraordinarily high energy prices also serve to promote energy conservation. These ever more frequent energy crises make horribly expensive and wasteful alternatives like solar, wind and homosexual fart power barely more affordable.

What the fuck? If the shit is cheap, no need to conserve.

So smile at high energy and building resource prices, cuz all the chinks and Induns (dots not feathers) gotta pay the same commodity prices.

Actually, they gotta pay even more. They ain't got a few thousand extra fighter jets to trade in exchange for energy and resource delivery contracts far below cost.

They also won't look the other way like us Americans do, cuz most other countries find the massive Arab slave trade throughout Sudan and northern Africa offensive and disgusting, but not us Americans.

We built this country on cheap labor and serve as a model for China and India which is where we outsourced and relocated our manual labor industries effectively bringing parity to world wages; ours dropping, theirs rising.

Kewl huh?

As China and India trade their bicycles in for SUV's they're getting fucked on gasoline and manufacturing costs. As America trades in their silly and childish addiction for automobiles for sidewalk shoe tread and electric trams we'll be able to survive $100.00 a barrel oil without blinking.

But then again, you're talking to a guy that loves mass transit happily junking his car to ride on trolleys, trams and subways. That's cuz I'm a Finn and you ain't. A Finn that enjoys riding in the Koff Stout trolley car: dark brew in one hand, French or Danish cigarette in the other.

As Alaskans, our energy needs won't answer my prayers to pipe all the natural gas and crude oil under my arctic computing station north of 70 lat all the way across Canada to Chicago. It'll be the rest of America screaming for relief at the gas pump and on their electricity bills that'll open up ANWR and pipe natural gas outa state.

Which still doesn't spell relief for you maggots.

Sorry, the only way you'll ever be able to enhance your revenues and control your costs is to move up here to Barrow where we have the cheapest natural gas prices in the country and the cheapest electricity prices in the state of Alaska.

I may have failed to inform you lads that our version of a KEA power plant is actually 3 large jet turbine engine generators running on cheap and forever plentiful natural gas, not stove oil like you rural maggots or coal like Agent Octuck in Shitbanks.

I'm all for a suitcase nuke in Galena. Not for power but for demolition, that poor little white devil village may likely see overwhelming disagreement when debating free electricity from Toshiba nukes.

That debate will rage long after we die, but it's an ancient Alaskan pastime to spit on fellow native scumbags and their Fort Yukon luggage: trash bags filled with old clothes and really smelly food.

In context of selfishness, I pray we never siphon off all the wonderfully clean natural gas under my butt.

In the theory of enlightened self-interest, meaning I get a dividend for this underground fuel depot below me, then I'm cool with sharing.

Like every other indigent browntard, you'll also see this distinguished well dressed gentleman screaming for my benefits, entitlements, and dividend check.

Despite owning a fortune in marital, property and haberdashery assets, I'm so native.

Have gun (concealed in Hugo Boss and Armani attire), will travel.


PS. I attached an article I wrote for my MBA thesis. You mite be a crew of illiterate graying gunslingers, but take a quick scan at it anyway.


Article Published: Sunday, October 09, 2005

Homer utility eyes Healy Clean Coal Plant

Fairbanks Daily News Miner-By Staff Writer

A Homer electric cooperative has tentatively agreed to resurrect the Healy Clean Coal Plant, a small state-owned power plant that lies dormant about 78 miles southwest of Fairbanks.

The $300 million facility was built in 1998 to tap the Usibelli Coal Mine and demonstrate earth-friendly coal-burning technology.

After testing the plant, the Golden Valley Electric Association refused to operate or buy it, saying the plant was "fatally flawed." The state mothballed the facility.

Homer Electric Association Inc. is hoping the Fairbanks-based electric cooperative's conclusions are wrong.

The utility, a 20,000-member cooperative that powers western Kenai Peninsula, agreed to manage the power plant if it passes an engineering review and facility inspection.

Homer Electric already manages a state-owned hydroelectric station at Bradley Lake near Homer.

The investigation into the idle Healy plant will be conducted over the next four months at the state's expense, said Joe Gallagher, spokesman for the Homer cooperative, which announced its plans Friday.

"It's a first step," Gallagher said. "There's a long way to go. Everyone is excited about getting started with this review."

The Homer utility signed an agreement with the Alaska Industrial Development and Export Authority after negotiations started in the spring, Gallagher said. The Alaska Industrial Development and Export Authority is the economic development arm of state government and the agency responsible for the Healy plant.

"(Homer Electric) has been through the plant," said Ron Miller, executive director of AIDEA. "The conclusion is the plant should be up and running.

"Of course, we hope it leads to local jobs and that it provides reliable, reasonably priced energy to the Railbelt," Miller added.

The Homer utility is interested in selling the power to other utilities, but would use the power for its own members if needed, Gallagher said.

A spokesman for the Usibelli Coal Mine said the Homer utility's interest in the power plant is good news.

"We are ready to start delivering coal tomorrow," said Steve Denton.

A GVEA spokeswoman said the Fairbanks utility would assist Homer Electric in its investigation.

GVEA backed out of negotiations with the state to buy the plant last year after its offer of $70 million was turned down.

The Fairbanks utility maintains the power plant's design is faulty and its experimental technology unproven.

If the state had accepted GVEA's offer, the utility planned to retrofit the plant with traditional burners using about $60 million in hoped-for federal funds.

"We're going to open our books and let (Homer Electric) look at everything," said GVEA spokeswoman Corinne Bradish. "We've always wanted nothing more than to see this plant up and running."

The Healy Clean Coal Plant is set up to produce 50 megawatts of power per year, which is twice what is needed for a town the size of Healy but a fraction of the more than 200 megawatts a year needed to power Fairbanks.

The Healy plant was built in part by grants from the U.S. Department of Energy, the Alaska Legislature, AIDEA, GVEA and Usibelli Coal Mine.


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