Thursday, October 06, 2005

Subsistence is modern nomenclature for robbing and killing gooks for meth money.

Top of the morning gents,

Rude awakenings are best, and I had a doozy this morning.

I had a real long chat with Sara Magnum last night about mom's retirement, the holidays and reducing debt load. We also chatted about her experiences living in Seattle and how weird it is that both my father and grandfather are still alive at 72 and pert near a hunnert, respectively.

She also griped of their frugality and thrift despite net worths exceeding that of most small Alaskan villages.

This triggered traumatic slumber and nightmares from my violent childhood awakening to the phone ringing at O'dark hunnert with a mumbling toothless neighbor asking 'who got jugs, apun, or boocs' (bootleg liquor, meth or bags).

My reply was simply "Fuck you asshole" and hanging up. We're warming up to Maximum Overdrive in Barrow's overwhelming illegal drug and alcohol season triggered by the direct deposits of PFD checks next week.

I slept like dog crap until it was time for me to make my good coffee and psyche my pretty Siberian wife to put up with another day at the office surrounded by shitty nigger Eskimo bitches. Shitty nigger ice bitches so full of hatred and stirred unnuk that the corporate culture throughout all of rural Alaska is best described as whiney whiney bitch cunts only happy when everybody is sick and miserable.

I know this. So do you. My poor wife has to put up with the same sick dyke fuming snatches you all have to tolerate.

We leave the house at 7:30am, arriving at the AC store around quarter to 8 allowing bunnik to catch the man-haul van service carrying students and faculty out to the Ilisagvik College. The institute for the mentally retarded yet normal natives located further out of town than the bowling lanes, theater and bar at the old Air Force base outside of Kotzebue.

While awaiting for the van, me and bunnik carried on our normal discourse pertaining to relationship theory, child abuse and why American women are such filthy cunts refusing to honor nor obey the value of a family structure.

It's a husband's duty to speak in such terms so that his wife understands his commitment, faith and fidelity absolutely necessary for a marriage expected to outlive typically brief Alaskan marriages we see all around. Even within this group of poorly wedded boys saddled with a man's spousal responsibilities.

As we chatted ever so esoteric, Super Dad from Unalakleet yelled a 'Barrow Hello' from the open window of his taxi he rode to work.

I'm lying, he yelled so loud his voice boomed all throughout the frozen quiet morning. All the crowd out front of AC heard was "Hey Neegroid!", which is my current Niger nom de plume. An evolved version of 'nigger' and 'negro', both former nicknames I was titled my first winter here in niggerville, I mean Barrow. Nobody understands the plight us rich Vikings must suffer.

"Ye don't lose your wife, ye just lose yer turn."

Shoot, some of the ex-wives and ex-girlfriends discarded from this gang of graying gunslingers don't add up to more than inadequate life support systems for their own cunts, let alone spawning and nurturing your broken offspring all the way to maturation.

Don't feel bad, nobody fucks up as good as me. Full stop.

You can't turn a whore into a housewife. This rule applies to men also.

Sidney Portier once stated that "a man is measure by how he cares for his family, nothing else." Smart fucker never lived in Alaska where it's perfectly okay to abandon numerous mixed blood aboriginal spouses only to see them staggering around the city and village streets everywhere in Alaska sucking dick for alcohol and crack hits.

Yup, we all seen that one. I blinked twice, and then realized this nasty whore from Kotzebue was drunkenly approaching me, so I fled. I never give money to street miscreants, native bums or whores. Shoot, this ripe scab deserved a few blows to the head with the same motorcycle helmet that crushed her scumbag boyfriend's face and skull.

We also know of ex-spouses that've killed subsequent suitors and have seen homeless kids roaming about looking an awful lot like some of my best friends.

What the fuck am I saying? You guys are my ONLY friends.

As you pudgy and slouching old cops stroll yer way to your graves far sooner than I'd like, we all could use a little help shouldering our burdensome sins.

Forgive and forget: yourselves and the skanks you've soiled and discarded. Guilt and neurosis are fertile material for alcoholism, and a fate a compli when examining all the members of this crew.

Free your mind from the past and dedicate the entire rest of your lives to the spouse your with. Or kill the bitch and get a good one. Good wives make for long and healthy lives.

This oughta scare you monkey fuckers.

I'm preparing you boys for the inevitable death of one of us. Take a look at the list of email recipients above and guess which of us will soon be worm bait. Then we'll blame it on yer nasty wife and lynch her the way we all wished you would've.

The heaviest of us may vapor lock, our nicotine addicts may die standing in their shoes like two of our blessed fathers who died from Acute Coronary Syndrome. Both non-sentient before dashing their abdomen and skulls onto the tiled floor at an airport counter or upstairs overlooking his dog lot.

The hardest drinking gunslingers in this lot will likely leak out on the highway or have an accident cleaning our pistols.

I need friends like you guys. For another 40+ years if it's possible.

Our unique and varying ethnicities put us at higher risks of death for plethora causes. Adding the four horsemen of the apocalypse: stress, rotating shifts, poor diet, and nicotine addiction to this picture only illustrates that we die from our life.

Like you killers, I have a hard time maintaining friendships. Usually from "a failure to communicate" (Cool Hand Luke).

This ain't happening, cuz you bastards get an extraordinary peek into the mind of a dumbass loser wigger retard that may very likely be as smart as you.

Nothing I spew is original nor revelatory, just insightful, aboriginal and non-relevant. And it's all free. You could learn a lot from a dummy.

All of us old killers and rapists may not be the very best candidate as husbands for our wives, but our wives are the best we'll ever wed. From here to eternity, remind your wives we're not worthy of their affection, but we'll both kill and die protecting them from men just like us.

Shit, I could've been born bright.


Take a look. My village is inhabited by meth addicts and alcoholics. It ain't morally objectionable for ice niggers to rob and kill gooks: it's Barrow.

I'm changing my "go native" slogan to "go nigger." That's all I see here in rural Alaska.


Paul Carr, Chief of Police


Submitted: Lt. Kelly Alzaharna
Date Submitted: 10/05/05
Unit Location: Barrow, Alaska
Reviewed By: Capt. Greg Venable
Date Reviewed: 10/05/05
Approved By: Capt. Greg Venable
Date Released: 10/05/05

Contact Person: Lt. Kelly Alzaharna

Phone Number (907) 852-0311

On October 4, 2005, at about 10:15 pm, Narong Siangdee, 37-years old, a Barrow Cab driver, reported being robbed behind H-building, 5230 Karluk Street.

Two juvenile males got in his cab, one held a rope around his neck, and the other held a knife to his head. They demanded money and were given an undisclosed amount, then left the cab.

North Slope Borough Police officers responded and based on the victim’s recognition of one of the juveniles, a 17-year old male, made an arrest. The juvenile is being held at the North Slope Borough Police Department pending a petition with the court. The case is still under investigation.


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