Saturday, August 20, 2005

A bridge too far. A mouth too foul.

Top of the morning gents,

Some fool is promoting a concept bridge that would
guarantee Nome returning it's old glory. An international
bridge across the Bering Straits from Seward's (folly)
Peninsula across to the largest Super Fund EPA disasters
in the world: Russia.

Come to think about it, Nome was Alaska's largest
city, long before statehood. Building this bridge
would surely pump Nome citizenry far past
Anchoragua's, Shitbank's, and Eichmann Town (Juneau).

It'd also boost the economies of all of Western
Alaska, a long overdue treat to our Inu Brethren
languishing and suffering a completely unecessary
Aleutian and Butthole (bethel) level of existence.

I also like this bridge concept because it would
relieve our beloved Scandinavia the filthy chore of
removing disgustingly poor illegal Russian immigrants.


"Fuck it, let's Head East and piss and shit all over
Alaska!"

One 'stan' raghead was overheard, "They will happily
embrace millions more sick and poor brown people."

"We look just like Shaktoolik and Unalakleet monkey
humpers and have more teeth than they do, but at least
we smell better."

From the perspective of any country ending with the
suffix of 'stan', this bridge would be the stairway to
heaven.

From my perspective, this would be like a prison
toilet backing up like a geiser: a face fuck full of
human refuse gushing into a part of Alaska I prefer
never to visit anyway.

I think the Bering Sea is God's natural geographic
barrier and a divine tool to keep Alaskan natives safe
from hostile mobs of Mongoloids and collectively
insane armies of Gook motherfuckers.

Like the Pilgrims, the Inu fled moronic tryanny and
gay fucking churches and cultures, thus isolating the
world's best party animals for guys like us lot to
drink with at the KPD offsite bar located somewhere in
the 400 block.

And steal their prettiest girls. Amen?

Also. Vitus Bering is a Finn, born and raised in
Helsinki. If you go back in time and kill him, you'll
no longer be receiving these ridiculous and inane
messages and likely not yet have developed a written
language.

Harvest the earth before the third world learns to
read.

Karl.

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