Seed banks, sperm banks and shitty money banks.
Top of the morning gents,
It's hard to believe how far human beings have come. Our early ancestors spent 80% of their waking hours foraging for food and consuming these gathered foods raw. What I mean by raw is straight off the ground or bush, chewed and swallowed. Raw foods require double and triple the digestion time and double and triple the length of our intestines. Early man's teeth were worn, rotten or missing and resembled Bun's grandma after decades of chewing mukluk soles. If we could examine a Playboy Centerfold from 80,000 years ago, we see a short, ugly, pot-bellied, thick-trunked, hairy, puny Sasquatch creature bitch with a runt-ass skeleton, teeth ravaged by pyorrhea and a gut shredded by diarrhea. If a nigger survived childhood, he'd be lucky to have both eyes leaving archaeological remains with a fucked up face, pie hole, ass and guts. Pyorrhea and diarrhea were the two leading causes of death for our ancient grups. The skeletal remains we've dug up are so trashed and busted up, they look like fossilized professional rodeo riders and boxers. Or like the beaten, abused kids that rasty-bitch old hag Ruth Apgar, the DFYS drunk crispy biddy, picked up and booked into gladiator training we call foster care or juvenile detention.
Acquiring the use of fires to cook our meats (Fire On Demand), we've cut down the total volume of the raw (still bleeding) and rotten meat (carrion road kill) we're required to consume daily. Bugs, worms, rodents, snakes and vermin are now a smaller fraction of our caloric intake, switching to larger land mammals, fish, swine and poultry for chow. Humans transitioned from omnivorous diets to hunting in crews and consuming better quality and more specialized foodstuffs. We've also reduced the hunting and gathering time everyday and we're eating smaller amounts of lower quality creepy-crawler putrid, bitter snacks. Merely bringing meats to 160 degrees allows the human stomach to digest them much easier and derive multiples more in total nutrition absorbed. Cooked meats and cooked vegetable digest much quicker and also eliminates food poisoning and inadvertent intake of diseased parasites, molds, spores and fungi. In summations, cooked, boiled, fried, steamed and baked food is far safer to eat and better for human beings' historical growth and development.
I can hear you whining and feigning grandiose indignation declaring natives survived by drying, freezing and fermenting their meats and greens. Stuff a sock in yer pie hole and eat my shorts. Traditional and subsistence foods that are uncooked run much higher risks of illness or death from botulism, trichinosis and bacterial food poisoning. Ron Brower told me a story that scares me shitless. He described numerous events during his 75 years, where whole sections of Barrow's population died from eating fermented meat, blubber and blood (mikiaq) at whaling celebrations like Nalukitaq, Kivgiq and Ahpuati. Traditional Eskimo fare, historically, can become deadly with botulism. I was discouraged from eating native foods by Grandma Magdelene insofar as to advise me that I could die or overeat and get "hoggy-hoggy" with it. Aghast, witnessing my astronomical drinking and pot smoking habits, Sara never let me live down that "hoggy-hoggy" moniker. I believe they also suspected my voracious appetites fer pussy.
Since before prehistory, drying and curing meats has been the common technique for meat preservation, transport and storage. This process used extensive amounts of salt, greatly affecting the flavor, health consequences and the price of salt worldwide. As a matter of fact, salt become such a scarce commodity during our earliest civilizations, it was a compliment to say a man was worth his salt. Furthermore, the payday term we await, salary is based upon this primary ingredient: salt. Lastly, an important contribution to a debate is considered a "salient" point. During mankind's Jewish and Christian murderous days of Biblical origins, salt became more valuable than gold. Even 400 years ago, dairy products were risky due to no refrigeration. Europeans made cheese, Middle Eastern cultures made yogurt and North Europeans (mostly Irish) blended their cream with liquor as a preservative, storage and extend shelf-life. In my decade of sobriety, and if I relapsed, I'd kill fer a cup of Jamesons Irish Whiskey mixed with an equal measure of Bailey's Irish Cream. Even matched with bong hits, expensive coffee is fer faggots.
Louis Pasteur discovered pasteurization (filtering, boiling and centrifuge blending) lengthened shelf life of dairy products worldwide. Today we can purchase boxed milk off the shelf at AC Store, 3 Bears and Walmart's that can last years at room temperature. This new packaging process is called UHP (ultra-high pasteurization). Foods lasting much longer and greatly reducing waste, is further indicative of human beings enjoying what's termed "dietary surplus." Dietary surplus parallels economic surplus, language development, artistic creation and expression, philosophical thought (like my articles yer reading) and can only happen with more free time away from scavenging fer shit to eat. Another side-effect of more food and better storage is wealth creation. I'd have zero time to compose stupid cop-talk scribbling if I was spending all my waking hours collecting grubs, maggots, worms and moths. To eat.
What followed was much larger brains and much more information storage. 1,000 years ago, the typical human possessed less data in their brains than a Sunday issue of the New York Times. Wake up fucks. Yer kids possess a trillion times more stored information in their brains than any human a dozen centuries ago. Longer lives, better health and larger human populations only happened when a community enjoys both dietary surplus and economic abundance. Hence the small populations we see in remote regions contain small, poorly developed people. Like yer in-laws.
Now shifting to the notion of nutritional security, human growth and economic surplus. We need cupboards, freezers and refrigerators for food storage, analogously we need banks for economic storage. I've been following the collapse of some banks in the news and I'm sorry to say we saw this coming. Banks collapse when they give out risky loans and the depositors money doesn't get paid back. Bad paper, meaning shitty loans that default scare the hell out of us with savings accounts and we beat feet to the banks and try to pull our money out. That's euphemistically called a "run on the bank" and can panic any rational customer worrying their life savings are lost in that goddamned bank. Credit Suisse plainly shines as a shitty example.
Loan examiners can be blind, deaf and dumb when fees, bonuses, commissions and incentives to write and grant bogus stupid loans. Banks tend to see themselves as investment partners and undertake worrisome lending schemes that looked promising when the market winds blew in their favor. Winds change. Silicon Valley, First Republic and Signature bank fell in love with schemes loaning venture capital firms investing in silly internet start-ups: VC firms that con you into lending them cubic dollars because they've discovered the next Microsoft. Sure.
Another cause for banks imploding is inflation. The money paid back for existing loans is worth less and less. I know some of us would like to point the finger at bloated government spending or bloated government borrowing, but it always falls on us as the responsible parties. Americans and the richer parts of the world spend too much money on shit we ought to be a bit more frugal with. Scarcity is the law of the land and shortages run up prices, and conversely, surpluses bring prices back down. Us rich world citizens have stripped inventories of food items, commodities and natural resources to such small numbers and warehouse wholesale auction prices are exploding.
We elect legislators, congressmen, senators, governors and presidents that promise us lower taxes. We elect individuals who ignore our national debt and a treasury that's spending borrowed money. Believing we can avoid and escape our deferred and rapidly accumulating tax bill, we are the responsible parties. We're also the stupid Americans that refuse to accept this responsibility. When it comes to fiscal and financial responsibilities, we're stupid, immature, punk-ass brats looking to go spear-fishing with our dicks. Not paying our bills and taxes and saving for the future.
Imagine a candidate running on a platform of raising taxes on all of us. His chances of election are a big zero. We vote for candidates that whisper sexy notions like Make America Woke Again, wonderful possibilities like a homosexual in every stew pot and blatantly lie to us, because we like to be seduced and charmed. There's a part of our brain that chooses candidates that we tend to view as better looking, better sounding, tongue our shitters and less depressing. Nobody wants to hear the truth. We're like naive little girls that cling to old wives' tales, fairy tales and outright incorrect dogma like "I promise I won't cum in yer ass" or "if you choke on my sperm, you'll get bigger boobs." When it comes to paying our bills, we prefer to spend our money on booze, blow and broads like servicemen on leave, not responsible citizens with super high-dollar medical and dental bills short years in the future.
We don't want to hear that we're fat, our children are under-employed, sedentary and lazy and we owe $100K for years of social programs, wars overseas and insufficient tax revenues to the IRS to pay for all of these. The national debt, with baked in obligations is $35 trillion. Spread over 350 million Americans, the simple division is where the $100,000 comes from. That's each American: infants, parents, students and even us old fart grandparents. Of course no child, gimp, minority nor homeless bum will pay a dime. We will. So quadruple that $100K and write a check with yer big mouth that'll likely be cashed with yer ass. IRS truly means "internal" extractions from yer chubby-cop butt-cheeks.
Of course none of us wants to pay that bill. I don't, that's fer fucking sure. Imagine a collection notice for that delinquent bill arriving in your mail box demanding $100K plus accruing interest. We'd bitch where all these monies went and how did we get bamboozled into letting this amount get out of control. Well, for 40 years we've been enjoying it everyday. Medicare and Social Security are the most visible budgetary expenditures. Those payouts arrive in our checking accounts, clinics and hospitals every month. Military is the next component. The Department of Defense if the largest employer in the country. That's a lot of paychecks we cut out every 2 weeks. Medicare, Social Security and Defense are two-thirds of our national budget. Non-natives will likely push for de-funding Indian Health Services.
The Treasury prints a lot of money to pay for these obligations and also issues Treasury notes to borrow what's not covered. I'm not sure if any of you purchase government bonds anymore, they were popular years ago. War bonds, US bonds, T-bills, Treasury Notes were commonly purchased due to the guaranteed repayment for purchase price PLUS all the interest. An American worker used to purchase a blend of 2's, 10's and 30's, meaning 2-year notes, 10-year notes and 30-year treasury notes.
The blend is analogous to dollar-cost averaging all your disposable income over a year in twelfths: 1 purchase per month=12 monthly purchases per year. Some on the market floor call it laddering your bond portfolio. As your Treasury Notes, Bills or Bonds mature, you either reinvest or simply bank the face value on the certificate payout. This is the both interest and principal. If you can purchase your bonds at a discount, the larger payout is for the total face value printed on the certificate and you receive that extra as a bonus profit on top of the principal and all the interest. I've seen bonds sold at auctions for much less than the face value on the bond (Discount), but when they mature you scoop up all the proceeds.
Guaranteed payment. Zero risk. Also called the bastion of the rich. It's the place banks put their deposits to earn interest when good quality home loans or business loans aren't available to lend. Of course, if the region we live is shitty and poor and the loan quality is crap, our mortgages can get backing from Fannie Mae, Freddy Mac, FHA and AHFC (Alaska Housing Finance Corporation). They guarantee typically poor quality paper and possibly bad loans, meaning risky loans in high default regions such as rural Alaska. We all have had those kinds of mortgages, except us fuckers paid them off.
The evil demon I've mentioned before is inflation. Too many of us are bidding up the prices of houses, cars, groceries, gasoline and what-not. You may not think you are in an auction and bidding prices up, but we are. When we purchase anything at 3-Bears, AC Store or Walmart's we affirm prices that were set in open markets worldwide. When we stop or slow our buying these items, these product sit on shelves, expire in fashion or freshness and the surplus inventory gets "stale" and the prices are slashed. As inflation rages out of control and the price of common household commodities skyrockets out of reach, you see too many people and too much money chasing too few goods and services. Raising interest rates slows purchases and reverses inflation like ice water on yer swollen boners. Or the instant wood-kill you'd see when waking up next to Gumby. Naked.
We usually spend our daily bread with credit cards, which is borrowed money. We make payments on houses which is borrowed money and we make payments on our car loans which also borrowed money. I doubt any of you pay cash for houses or cars. To curb frenzied auction house bidding, the Federal Reserve raises interest rates. This raises our fees and interest charged on our credit cards, house payments and car payments. A $200,000 mortgage at 12% will require a minimum of 1% percent interest payment each month. That's $2,000 every month for interest alone.
The cost of borrowing is raised and the reward for lending is increased. Lenders are now paid much more for our loans. Banks purchase whole barges of cars, then sell them to us. Banks purchase thousands of homes, then sell them to us. Now with higher borrowing costs, lenders make more money, we pay more money and if we're rational consumers, we should be spending less. We should be buying fewer cars so that more are left rusting on the car lots. We should be buying fewer homes so that more are left empty, unsold and asking prices will tank.
Remember, anything not sold is marked down and unloaded like a "fire sale." Houses, cars and groceries are the big inflation indicators. When we buy too fast and pay too much, prices skyrocket. When we pause, wait and delay our purchases, prices tank. The Fed pays keen attention to the prices of cars, houses and groceries and their goal is to crush these ridiculously high prices back down to pre-bubble price tags and return to a modest 2% microscopic price growth every year. I'd be happy if the Federal Reserve could pop the price bubbles I see in cannabis shops, liquor stores and the admission fees to whorehouses that serve only underage clean, pristine pussy. Just think back to the blown out old ragged biscuit you porked and spooged out behind the Pondu. Those blisters that haunt you are a result of gittin' some action on Tagruk Spit and brings new meaning to bar's name, "Top of the Whale."
The Federal Reserve is also responsible for popping stock and commodity price bubbles. Alan Greenspan, FED Chairman in the 90's corrected congressmen that it wasn't George W's fault for the Tech Bubble bursting, it was his. "Blame me, I raised interest rates 6 times this year." "We have too much froth in the market and I'm obligated to eliminate irrational exuberance on the trading floor." Houses have doubled and tripled in price over the last decade and the Fed has the responsibility to smash these prices down 75% and back to reality. Cars and groceries have gotten extra zeros added to their prices and the Fed has the duty to crush these prices back down to affordability. Raising interest rates back up to historical norms will achieve this. When cash-only buyers attend auctions, prices are WAY lower.
We've enjoyed super low interest rates for far too long and that is a historical anomaly. Normal savings accounts should earn 5% and normal mortgages should cost 8-10%. Normal credit card rates float between 15-29% depending on our good credit, or nose bleed levels if you have really shitty credit. We regretfully should greatly limit the use of our credit spending and limit our borrowing to just the basics like housing. Cars and groceries really ought to be bought with cash. I know yer whining and bitching but I ain't listening.
Borrowing should be expensive. It isn't your money and you should only borrow when you really need it and can afford it and take advantage of the tax deductions from your primary home like mortgage interest. Not for buying tickets to Europe or Hawaii (or some cesspool like Michigan) and making minimum payments on your credit cards for years afterwards. Those that desperately need to borrow are most likely to default. Banks love customers that keep hundreds of thousands in savings accounts and then only borrow hundreds. Safe bets. Remember, when we use credit, someone has lent you that money and they deserve a decent return on their investment in you. My saving accounts are lent out to you guys when you sign a mortgage note, get a car loan or buy shit with your credit cards. I should get paid a decent bit of interest on my savings accounts lent you to borrow, meaing you'll pay more for house and car loans and your daily credit card purchases.
Slowing borrowing with higher interest rates, slows the economy, cools world and country-wide auctions for your houses, autos and groceries and then lowers house, car and food prices. Watch house prices drop as interest rates for home loans, refinance loans and home equity loans rise up towards the double digit altitude. I can remember during the Reagan Administration when the Fed's prime lending rate was 12% and home loans were upwards of 15-18%. When bun worked at the bank, she encouraged customers to purchase 90-day Certificates of Deposits (CD's) paying 15%.
The housing market during the Reagan years cooled nicely and home values dropped almost 50%. Keeping interest rates way up prevents investors from borrowing money and investing these funds in the stock market. In the old days you could borrow at 2% and harvest a stock market profit of 10-50%, those days are long gone. Banks charge much higher costs for borrowed money and the stock market is cooling. What I mean by cooling is we've seen the DOW Jones 30 blue chip industrial stock portfolio tank 25%, the S&P 500 broad market index has dropped 30% and the NASDAQ tech sector has plummeted almost 40%.
Now look at the Permanent Fund. We gone from $84 billion down to $72. That's a real sickening drop. We could skim a PFD out of the principal, but that's not really a dividend, that's stealing from the corpus of our state savings account. A dividend is paid after all our other bills are paid, the remainder is then divided amongst us poor 907 negro resident shareholders. Oil revenue has paid our bills for over 40 years with enough left over to kick a bonus to us. Now look at Prudhoe Bay. Oil production is less than a fourth of our best. We pumped 2.2 million barrels a day way back in the 80's, now we're pumping 500,000 and dropping 6% annually.
Don't get a boner and tell me about the Willow Oil Prospect. That's on Federal Land, or better put, The National Petroleum Reserve Alaska (NPRA). That's not state land, it's actually American land. The oil royalties are split 50/50 with the Feds and the communities of the North Slope. All the village clinics, social services and housing departments receive what called Petroleum Impact Funds. The state will scavenge a meager $10 billion dollars over the next 30-40 years. That's fucking chump change. We need another Prudhoe Bay Oil Seam on state land to pull down serious ching.
As Prudhoe Bay matures, dwindles at it's predictable 6% per year and runs dry, the state of Alaska will be in the same shape as America. We're gonna have to pay out more in property taxes, income taxes and sales taxes. We could avoid this giant penalty if we eliminate school funding, state troopers, corrections, university system, department of transportation and Medicaid. Sure. Think again butt-fuckers, that shit ain't happening. Alaskans love their lavish programs and more than one-third of us 907 midgets are on welfare.
Without Permanent Fund earnings or Prudhoe Bay oil revenues, you and me are on the hook for about $17K every year. Of course infants, children, poor coloreds and retards won't be expected to pay, so double or triple that figure for us earners and savers. We're such dumb butts. If we eliminate the PFD we can facilitate an exodus of poor shits and indigenous indigents out of Alaska. If we implement a painful income tax you'll witness an exodus of wealthy, working and retired folks like us out of Alaska. I say burn the poor first, do a population count, evaluate the validity of our social programs, then roach the rich. We won't mind paying for government services if poor free-loaders are long gone and shipped back to Siberia, Africa, Appallachia, Samoa and Methico.
I've interviewed a butt load of Alaskan citizens that lived in this state prior to the lease sales on Prudhoe Bay and TAPS first pumped oil down the pipeline in 1977. Alaska didn't have any utilities in rural villages and when they did arrive, diesel fuel was used to generate electricity and all homes were heated with the same. Barrow started using natural gas after the Navy piped it in from the Barrow Gas Fields 16 miles out of town in the early 70's and Anchorage switched from diesel to natural gas after Cook Inlet offshore oil and gas derricks started pumping in the late 50's.
All of the rest of Alaska has always, and always will use diesel fuel for both electricity and heat. Diesel fuel is pretty fucking expensive, but the cheapest of all the other options. Coal is expensive to mine from the Healy Coal Mine and transport to Fairbanks. It also leaves coal ash dust all over the communities that burn it. In Fairbanks there are 4 large coal-fired electricity plants. 1 for the University (UAF Physical Power Plant), 1 for the city (Golden Valley Power), 1 for Fort Wainwright and 1 for Eilsen Air Force. During cold winters in the Fairbanks area when temperatures hover near -60 below, air pollution is classified by the EPA as hazardous to your health from the coal-fired electrical plants.
Heat for Fairbanks is still almost entirely stove oil (diesel). Citizens that burn firewood to save money on their astronomical stove oil bills only exacerbate the air pollution way off the charts. Every morning I'd blow dry powdered coal ash dust off the brand new Chrysler Cirrus LXi provided to me by the Law Offices of Clapp, Peterson and Stowers by speeding around town way over the legal speed limits. I'd warm up the car, top off the tank with Super (premium) and occasionally drive through the car wash. Considering the facts I've revealed to you coppers about my extracurricular (extra-testicular) scholastic endeavors, it was a rough life.
Without PCC (power cost equalization), heating assistance and energy assistance, rural Alaska would be, and will be, frightfully expensive. I've been startled at hearing Eskimos paying exorbitant prices from B&R (Bullock and Rotmans) for barrels of oil. It wasn't uncommon to see little native boys rolling barrels of stove oil from uptown Kotzebue, the scant distance of a stone's throw down Front Street, to their shitty shotgun shacks that were common housing 60 years ago. Rural Alaska before the 70's had zero electricity and before the 80's zero water and sewer. Hence the influx of construction workers you witnessed. Most of our friends came to Kotz for the water and sewer projects that were funded by the state. Before oil revenues arrived, the populations in rural Alaska were majority non-native and really small, and clustered around Air Force, Navy and Army Bases. Wake up and look in the mirror niggers. Clean water, sewer and electricity has produced a brown baby boom.
We've trimmed back our Corona Virus stimulus expenses and we've nearly eliminated the unemployment boondoggle schemes. We've also ended the lavish Medicaid, Food Stamp, Rental Assistance and their ridiculously lax certifications processes. I mean gone by the end of March. After the 31st of the month, you'll likely hear customers in line at pharmacies cursing because their Medicaid coverage zeroed out and the real prices for common medicines for cholesterol, blood pressure and diabetes runs in the thousands every month. Our federal and state governments have been paying a lot of the medical bills for our poorer citizens for years. This just a small taste of comeuppance.
For my native readers, your medical expenses are paid for by the IHS (Indian Health Services) and if you make a minimal monthly income under $2,000 per month, part of your medical coverage is subsidized by Medicaid. That's why the native hospitals question you if your monthly incomes meet their income guidelines. Now watch Washington DC. If IHS is de-funded, you'll be writing some monster scary checks for visits to native clinics and native hospitals. If yer smart you'll purchase medical insurance or get a job with premium health care coverage. Just like us dumb white fuckers.
My wife is always asked if she makes under 2K a month and she always says, "no." She has the PERS Tier I AETNA coverage, but that has it's limitations when we reach the age of 65. Her IHS benefits cover everything not covered by her state pension medical coverage. I myself have to purchase Medicare Part B to compliment my Dental, Vision and Audio I purchased from the Alaska Retirees Medical Plan. Remember, I ain't AFN (ain't fucking native) so I HAVE to purchase Medicare Part B. PERS Tier I covers all our prescribed medicines.
Remember, when you turn the Six-Five, you gotta purchase Medicare because the coverage we've enjoyed from the retirement medical plan cuts way back and dumps most of the responsibility for payment on Medicare. Part A is emergency room care and is free. Part B is the basic medical coverage and costs $170.00 per month. Part C is the dental, vision, audio and is $150.00 per month and Part D is all the fucking medicine we take every morning with breakfast. That's another C-note, $100 fucking bucks. Set aside a total of $400-$500 a month out of your social security for that damn bill for the full Medicare coverage. Your AETNA PERS coverage steps back and only pays your copay, deductibles and non-covered services, procedures and extraordinary medical bills. Like penis transplants from horses and donkeys.
Fuck medical miracles. The 3 drugs that have lengthened American longevity are the basics: Cholesterol, blood pressure and insulin. Humans 400 years ago lived on average about half our life span. If you take any castle tours in Europe you'll have to duck way down to enter doorways and walkways. Folks were rarely 5 feet tall and big dumb motherfuckers like us will bash our heads or scrape our scalps in these old structures.
The Ice Man found frozen in the glacial pocket in the Alps was 5000 years old and showed heart disease already visible in his circulatory system. Ice Man was an affluent dude that ate more meat than his fellow cave men. He possessed a Bronze Age ax and also Stone Age tools and clothing, but was still murdered by a killer's arrow that was yanked back out to conceal the maker of the arrow. History is littered with classic examples of homicide and evidence tampering, yet nothing was stolen from his person. Anthropologists surmised that they were investigating a 50 centuries old professional hit or village-based assassination.
Even today, despite the cost to our health care in the form of cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar medications, us modern humans require a high protein, high calcium and high calorie diet to attain our taller stature, superior dentistry, brain size and strength. Around the world, citizens now eating cooked beef, plentiful dairy, refined enriched grains and lots of fat and calories are growing taller than their historical counterparts. But that diet has a price to pay. Our guts have a little difficulty with so much non-human breast milk, cooked red meat, and super highly enriched carbohydrate grains and starches. The cost for our human growth, brain development and longer lives comes in the forms of gastric issues, heart disease and diabetes. Hence the pills you and take every fucking day.
Regardless of human beings' slow evolution to digest and absorb this new Super Man gut bomb power chow, this same super nutritional diet has facilitated much taller humans around the world, other continents and even in rural Alaska. My wife is always astounded at the height she sees in the healthy class of her fellow aborigines. Of course there's still a lot of short little maggots that eat only mud-sourced native foods, sweets like candy and pop and deprive themselves wholesome diets and superior size and strength. Simply put, short, weak, sick, no-teefer river rats, reservation dog fuckers, in-bred hillbillies and ghetto niggers eat stupid shit. Healthy diets requires an education. Think about it.
As us affluent boomers flood the medical industry demanding top-notch services and state of the art prescriptions, our AETNA pension coverage and Medicare are expected to rain money on us and bandage our aging butts, cure our infections from poor sexual behavior and heal our failing lungs, livers and pancreas from eating, drinking and smoking WAY too much. I'm likely the most guilty party amongst us fuckers and would happily take lungs and guts and eyes outa yer grand kids corpses. And I'd be perfectly happy to swap my old gray rotten organs with yer daughters and grandaughters abortions.
I like banks of all types. Money banks, blood banks and organ banks. Oh, and don't forget Brewers malt, hop and yeast banks to protect our beer for centuries in the future. Plus Cannabis seed banks. See me smiling? Beer and bong hits are the breakfast of champions. I miss championship breakfasts waking and baking, and sport-fucking as a hobby, exercise and relaxation. Goddamned menopause. Or better put: meno-stop.
I've lectured at the vast improvement in diet and overall health of rural Alaskans since statehood and settlement of land claims. I can't pound the point home that America's diet has been the envy of the rest of the world for the last century. Japanese citizens have seen a parallel explosion in height and strength as their wealth and affluence has allowed the increased consumption American levels of protein, calcium and highly refined and enriched grains. As a matter of fact, the entire world has put excruciating pressure on inventories of beef, pork and chicken, dairy and refined white flour. The wholesale prices of these grocery commodities reflect this scorched Earth demand.
As citizens of the world step away from indigenous sources of protein like Chinese bug worm pizza and bat shit soup, and shift their menu choices towards American fare, we see massive increases in life expectancy and population growth. With 8 billion humans craving our good food, we may see increased tightness in the commodity inventories of our mealtime plates of grub.
With the importation of cattle, pork and chicken from Europe to the New World, we've seen higher grades of meats. Every scrap of bovine, swine and poultry is now utilized in the industrial processing of these meats. The lungs (tripe), guts and internal organs are used in sausages, pastrami, salami, bologna and ethnic cuisine like liver, kidney pie, the blood is used in soups, broths and Au-jus dips. It's crude but funny when I hear the joke that the best flavored hot dog wieners contain "eyes and beaks, knuckles and nuts."
Meat fats from pork, chicken and beef is sourced for deep-fat frying, gravies, sauces, and blended with sugar, honey and molasses, injected into tougher cuts of meats or applied to the exterior as sweet and savory glazes. Don't forget Crisco is a blend of animal and vegetable fats and makes superior breads, cakes and pastries. Lastly the feathers from poultry are steamed, bleached, stuffed into pillows, down comforters and seat cushions and all our nation's animal hide is used to manufacture leather coats, wallets, hand bags, belts and even footballs and soccer balls: pigskin. My university car had leather seats and it was well worth the extra grand of two added to the purchase price of the car.
Due to America's leading edge manufacture of grains and starches, we've increased crop yields by more than 10-fold. Wheat, soybean and potatoes are now so abundant that America is considered "the bread basket to the world." Aside from increased crop yields we also vastly improved the industrial milling processes to produce trillions of tons of white flour, oats, barley, hops, corn meal and soy beans. These products have been perfected and improved in overall quality with factory mechanical sorting, cleaning and separating. The shells, fiber and hulls are ground into fiber supplements like Metamucil, recycled back to agriculture or injected in sandblasting machines and used to remove paint, rust and corrosion from steel hulls of ships, automobile fenders and cleaning expensive metals where sand or crushed glass in industrial sandblasters would've simply obliterated your work in progress. Firearms manufactures use sandblasters filled with ground seed shells, husks and chafe for the sheen us dummies love to drool over.
Lastly we need to give credit to dairy farmers. No large family could survive solely on yer mom's breast milk. Feeding a large family, those sore tender titties would've fallen off and littered the floor with ragged paper bags and shredded flesh melons. Roberta Brower (Danny Burnor's girlfriend) told us about a family in Kaktovik whose mom breast-fed her entire family until they left home. In rural Alaska, men don't leave home until they find another stupid native woman to shack up with, beat on, rape on and suck dry. Julia Stalker breast-fed her children until they were 6 years old and Helena Hildreth (Grant Hildreth's widowed wife) breast-fed her children all the way to age of 7. Jesus Fuck! I wouldn't want a blow job lasting 7 years, who'd want those fine titties worn down and dried up so horribly? Even Dolly Parton couldn't have ever performed such fantastic feats of nipple Olympics. I'd sure like to be on the receiving end of that event. Go ahead, take a hammer to yer dick and get back to reading my stupid shit.
Okay, quit giggling you retired retards and get back to my nutritional bullshit. We can thank the cows and goats for replacing and expanding milk consumption in America's morning breakfast cereal, desserts and toppings. Cow and goat milk is an extraordinarily valuable commodity. From these simple buckets of udder squeezings we separate the fat and the watery whey. The watery whey is used in beer, weight lifter supplements and animal feed but the fat is the gold. Cow and Goat milk fat is used to manufacture yogurt, cheese, cottage cheese, sour cream and ice cream. The bonus is that nutrition in milk is fat soluble and the richest dairy products contain the best food value. Imagine nachos without sour cream or heavy cream unavailable in our rich tasty exotic pastries or removing the half-n-half I pour in my expensive coffee every morning. I'm visualizing a nightmare existence in a world without cheese on pizza or Alaska's favorite: bowls of ice cream. Fucking forget about it.
The reason I illustrate the extraordinary value of cow and goat milk fat is the wonderful improvement in brain development. Breast milk, otherwise known as Cholestrum is nearly all fat and helps babies' brains grow exponentially. This is the most significant trait seen in Homo Sapiens: larger brains. The fat in dairy is the perfect dietary supplement in increasing brain size and improving brain function. Removing huge supplements of rich dairy fat in a child's diet will produce children we see in Appalachia and Africa. We also see this in rural Alaska. Rich sources of dairy fat has proven to improve education outputs for children from birth to adolescence. I'm reading yer minds and I'm specifying dairy products from cow and goat breast milk, not yer dick milk nor ball cheese.
The calcium dairy products offers us is what explains taller humans the world over. Natives, Asians and Pygmies were never supposed to be short, small and simple-minded. Lacking rich sources of dairy at every meal is historically proven to be the culprit when we witness short, small retarded humans. Removing low quality indigenous foods and replacing them with high-grade meat products, high-fat dairy and enriched refined grains has given us better academic scores, vastly better athletic performances, taller skeletal structure and nearly doubling life-spans. Back in 2020 my wife turned the age of 70 years old. Her humorous comment "I'm now 140 years old in native years." "Boolks. I jokes." Sad and tragic statement. I added the inane "boolks" suffix just to dummy up my composition. Fucking funny though.
Native indulgence in subsistence foods is a nice trip down memory lane and is wonderfully reminiscent of our horrible histories, but don't force yer retarded grand kids to a miserable life of bad teeth, small withered bones, puny brains and dummer'n shit brain function. Look around you, our children would've been dwarfs, midgets, gimps and retards without modern high quality food choices you purchased and served with the pay we earned doing public safety shit work. I'll punch you in the mouth if you call world-class nutrition "white man food." It's the combination of high-quality foods, top-shelf medicine and massive increases in education and learning that keeps me from looking like Dood Lincolnm, speaking like Dolly Hawley and writing like Skeeter Jepson. Or being a member of the Henry clan. Point taken? That'd be a curse worse than a life as a child prostitute in 1890's Nome, Skagway and Ketchikan. My ass fucking bleeds.
Excavating the 1500 year-old Arctic Family on the North Slope found insects, worms, grubs, sour fish and lots of grasses in their stomachs. You'll never achieve Michael Jordan's level of fitness on that diet, instead you'll be forever stunted and sawed-off like Butch Lincoln. Alaskan Natives would never sit at the coffee table or in physics lecture halls with Einstein had Nixon not created Indian Health Services and started inoculating brown kids with medicines for common diseases that were fatal to niggers here in the Wino-Seven. At your next dinner table mealtime prayers, give thanks for the federal government shipping metric tons of vastly better foodstuffs to this stupid section here where we're shitting and pissing on wrong end of the North American continent.
Regarding the shift from lousy garbage subsistence foods towards skeleton and body-building super-foods, you should thank yourselves. Even if you racked up your credit card bills paying for groceries for your rodents. As inflation is pushed back down with higher interest rates, pay cash for your cars and groceries, borrow prudently and judiciously for you homes, then double up the payments, zero out that fucking mortgage and write off all the interest, taxes and insurance expenses against your adjusted gross income (AGI) on your IRS tax paperwork you'll need to file before April 15th.
I can hear you fuckers. TMI dude (too much info). Fuck it. I'm more than just a criminal that mops puke in the Kotzebue Jail, serves arrest warrants on village crooks and arranges State Trooper drug buys, raids, arrests and seizures.
I'm a really stupid MBA that could've been grown puny, retarded and ugly like real Alaskan residents, but I'm not. I'm just a Finn that with a smart-ass sense of humor and types 400 words per minute.
"Never get in a pissing match with a man that buys printer's ink by the barrel."
Karl.
It's hard to believe how far human beings have come. Our early ancestors spent 80% of their waking hours foraging for food and consuming these gathered foods raw. What I mean by raw is straight off the ground or bush, chewed and swallowed. Raw foods require double and triple the digestion time and double and triple the length of our intestines. Early man's teeth were worn, rotten or missing and resembled Bun's grandma after decades of chewing mukluk soles. If we could examine a Playboy Centerfold from 80,000 years ago, we see a short, ugly, pot-bellied, thick-trunked, hairy, puny Sasquatch creature bitch with a runt-ass skeleton, teeth ravaged by pyorrhea and a gut shredded by diarrhea. If a nigger survived childhood, he'd be lucky to have both eyes leaving archaeological remains with a fucked up face, pie hole, ass and guts. Pyorrhea and diarrhea were the two leading causes of death for our ancient grups. The skeletal remains we've dug up are so trashed and busted up, they look like fossilized professional rodeo riders and boxers. Or like the beaten, abused kids that rasty-bitch old hag Ruth Apgar, the DFYS drunk crispy biddy, picked up and booked into gladiator training we call foster care or juvenile detention.
Acquiring the use of fires to cook our meats (Fire On Demand), we've cut down the total volume of the raw (still bleeding) and rotten meat (carrion road kill) we're required to consume daily. Bugs, worms, rodents, snakes and vermin are now a smaller fraction of our caloric intake, switching to larger land mammals, fish, swine and poultry for chow. Humans transitioned from omnivorous diets to hunting in crews and consuming better quality and more specialized foodstuffs. We've also reduced the hunting and gathering time everyday and we're eating smaller amounts of lower quality creepy-crawler putrid, bitter snacks. Merely bringing meats to 160 degrees allows the human stomach to digest them much easier and derive multiples more in total nutrition absorbed. Cooked meats and cooked vegetable digest much quicker and also eliminates food poisoning and inadvertent intake of diseased parasites, molds, spores and fungi. In summations, cooked, boiled, fried, steamed and baked food is far safer to eat and better for human beings' historical growth and development.
I can hear you whining and feigning grandiose indignation declaring natives survived by drying, freezing and fermenting their meats and greens. Stuff a sock in yer pie hole and eat my shorts. Traditional and subsistence foods that are uncooked run much higher risks of illness or death from botulism, trichinosis and bacterial food poisoning. Ron Brower told me a story that scares me shitless. He described numerous events during his 75 years, where whole sections of Barrow's population died from eating fermented meat, blubber and blood (mikiaq) at whaling celebrations like Nalukitaq, Kivgiq and Ahpuati. Traditional Eskimo fare, historically, can become deadly with botulism. I was discouraged from eating native foods by Grandma Magdelene insofar as to advise me that I could die or overeat and get "hoggy-hoggy" with it. Aghast, witnessing my astronomical drinking and pot smoking habits, Sara never let me live down that "hoggy-hoggy" moniker. I believe they also suspected my voracious appetites fer pussy.
Since before prehistory, drying and curing meats has been the common technique for meat preservation, transport and storage. This process used extensive amounts of salt, greatly affecting the flavor, health consequences and the price of salt worldwide. As a matter of fact, salt become such a scarce commodity during our earliest civilizations, it was a compliment to say a man was worth his salt. Furthermore, the payday term we await, salary is based upon this primary ingredient: salt. Lastly, an important contribution to a debate is considered a "salient" point. During mankind's Jewish and Christian murderous days of Biblical origins, salt became more valuable than gold. Even 400 years ago, dairy products were risky due to no refrigeration. Europeans made cheese, Middle Eastern cultures made yogurt and North Europeans (mostly Irish) blended their cream with liquor as a preservative, storage and extend shelf-life. In my decade of sobriety, and if I relapsed, I'd kill fer a cup of Jamesons Irish Whiskey mixed with an equal measure of Bailey's Irish Cream. Even matched with bong hits, expensive coffee is fer faggots.
Louis Pasteur discovered pasteurization (filtering, boiling and centrifuge blending) lengthened shelf life of dairy products worldwide. Today we can purchase boxed milk off the shelf at AC Store, 3 Bears and Walmart's that can last years at room temperature. This new packaging process is called UHP (ultra-high pasteurization). Foods lasting much longer and greatly reducing waste, is further indicative of human beings enjoying what's termed "dietary surplus." Dietary surplus parallels economic surplus, language development, artistic creation and expression, philosophical thought (like my articles yer reading) and can only happen with more free time away from scavenging fer shit to eat. Another side-effect of more food and better storage is wealth creation. I'd have zero time to compose stupid cop-talk scribbling if I was spending all my waking hours collecting grubs, maggots, worms and moths. To eat.
What followed was much larger brains and much more information storage. 1,000 years ago, the typical human possessed less data in their brains than a Sunday issue of the New York Times. Wake up fucks. Yer kids possess a trillion times more stored information in their brains than any human a dozen centuries ago. Longer lives, better health and larger human populations only happened when a community enjoys both dietary surplus and economic abundance. Hence the small populations we see in remote regions contain small, poorly developed people. Like yer in-laws.
Now shifting to the notion of nutritional security, human growth and economic surplus. We need cupboards, freezers and refrigerators for food storage, analogously we need banks for economic storage. I've been following the collapse of some banks in the news and I'm sorry to say we saw this coming. Banks collapse when they give out risky loans and the depositors money doesn't get paid back. Bad paper, meaning shitty loans that default scare the hell out of us with savings accounts and we beat feet to the banks and try to pull our money out. That's euphemistically called a "run on the bank" and can panic any rational customer worrying their life savings are lost in that goddamned bank. Credit Suisse plainly shines as a shitty example.
Loan examiners can be blind, deaf and dumb when fees, bonuses, commissions and incentives to write and grant bogus stupid loans. Banks tend to see themselves as investment partners and undertake worrisome lending schemes that looked promising when the market winds blew in their favor. Winds change. Silicon Valley, First Republic and Signature bank fell in love with schemes loaning venture capital firms investing in silly internet start-ups: VC firms that con you into lending them cubic dollars because they've discovered the next Microsoft. Sure.
Another cause for banks imploding is inflation. The money paid back for existing loans is worth less and less. I know some of us would like to point the finger at bloated government spending or bloated government borrowing, but it always falls on us as the responsible parties. Americans and the richer parts of the world spend too much money on shit we ought to be a bit more frugal with. Scarcity is the law of the land and shortages run up prices, and conversely, surpluses bring prices back down. Us rich world citizens have stripped inventories of food items, commodities and natural resources to such small numbers and warehouse wholesale auction prices are exploding.
We elect legislators, congressmen, senators, governors and presidents that promise us lower taxes. We elect individuals who ignore our national debt and a treasury that's spending borrowed money. Believing we can avoid and escape our deferred and rapidly accumulating tax bill, we are the responsible parties. We're also the stupid Americans that refuse to accept this responsibility. When it comes to fiscal and financial responsibilities, we're stupid, immature, punk-ass brats looking to go spear-fishing with our dicks. Not paying our bills and taxes and saving for the future.
Imagine a candidate running on a platform of raising taxes on all of us. His chances of election are a big zero. We vote for candidates that whisper sexy notions like Make America Woke Again, wonderful possibilities like a homosexual in every stew pot and blatantly lie to us, because we like to be seduced and charmed. There's a part of our brain that chooses candidates that we tend to view as better looking, better sounding, tongue our shitters and less depressing. Nobody wants to hear the truth. We're like naive little girls that cling to old wives' tales, fairy tales and outright incorrect dogma like "I promise I won't cum in yer ass" or "if you choke on my sperm, you'll get bigger boobs." When it comes to paying our bills, we prefer to spend our money on booze, blow and broads like servicemen on leave, not responsible citizens with super high-dollar medical and dental bills short years in the future.
We don't want to hear that we're fat, our children are under-employed, sedentary and lazy and we owe $100K for years of social programs, wars overseas and insufficient tax revenues to the IRS to pay for all of these. The national debt, with baked in obligations is $35 trillion. Spread over 350 million Americans, the simple division is where the $100,000 comes from. That's each American: infants, parents, students and even us old fart grandparents. Of course no child, gimp, minority nor homeless bum will pay a dime. We will. So quadruple that $100K and write a check with yer big mouth that'll likely be cashed with yer ass. IRS truly means "internal" extractions from yer chubby-cop butt-cheeks.
Of course none of us wants to pay that bill. I don't, that's fer fucking sure. Imagine a collection notice for that delinquent bill arriving in your mail box demanding $100K plus accruing interest. We'd bitch where all these monies went and how did we get bamboozled into letting this amount get out of control. Well, for 40 years we've been enjoying it everyday. Medicare and Social Security are the most visible budgetary expenditures. Those payouts arrive in our checking accounts, clinics and hospitals every month. Military is the next component. The Department of Defense if the largest employer in the country. That's a lot of paychecks we cut out every 2 weeks. Medicare, Social Security and Defense are two-thirds of our national budget. Non-natives will likely push for de-funding Indian Health Services.
The Treasury prints a lot of money to pay for these obligations and also issues Treasury notes to borrow what's not covered. I'm not sure if any of you purchase government bonds anymore, they were popular years ago. War bonds, US bonds, T-bills, Treasury Notes were commonly purchased due to the guaranteed repayment for purchase price PLUS all the interest. An American worker used to purchase a blend of 2's, 10's and 30's, meaning 2-year notes, 10-year notes and 30-year treasury notes.
The blend is analogous to dollar-cost averaging all your disposable income over a year in twelfths: 1 purchase per month=12 monthly purchases per year. Some on the market floor call it laddering your bond portfolio. As your Treasury Notes, Bills or Bonds mature, you either reinvest or simply bank the face value on the certificate payout. This is the both interest and principal. If you can purchase your bonds at a discount, the larger payout is for the total face value printed on the certificate and you receive that extra as a bonus profit on top of the principal and all the interest. I've seen bonds sold at auctions for much less than the face value on the bond (Discount), but when they mature you scoop up all the proceeds.
Guaranteed payment. Zero risk. Also called the bastion of the rich. It's the place banks put their deposits to earn interest when good quality home loans or business loans aren't available to lend. Of course, if the region we live is shitty and poor and the loan quality is crap, our mortgages can get backing from Fannie Mae, Freddy Mac, FHA and AHFC (Alaska Housing Finance Corporation). They guarantee typically poor quality paper and possibly bad loans, meaning risky loans in high default regions such as rural Alaska. We all have had those kinds of mortgages, except us fuckers paid them off.
The evil demon I've mentioned before is inflation. Too many of us are bidding up the prices of houses, cars, groceries, gasoline and what-not. You may not think you are in an auction and bidding prices up, but we are. When we purchase anything at 3-Bears, AC Store or Walmart's we affirm prices that were set in open markets worldwide. When we stop or slow our buying these items, these product sit on shelves, expire in fashion or freshness and the surplus inventory gets "stale" and the prices are slashed. As inflation rages out of control and the price of common household commodities skyrockets out of reach, you see too many people and too much money chasing too few goods and services. Raising interest rates slows purchases and reverses inflation like ice water on yer swollen boners. Or the instant wood-kill you'd see when waking up next to Gumby. Naked.
We usually spend our daily bread with credit cards, which is borrowed money. We make payments on houses which is borrowed money and we make payments on our car loans which also borrowed money. I doubt any of you pay cash for houses or cars. To curb frenzied auction house bidding, the Federal Reserve raises interest rates. This raises our fees and interest charged on our credit cards, house payments and car payments. A $200,000 mortgage at 12% will require a minimum of 1% percent interest payment each month. That's $2,000 every month for interest alone.
The cost of borrowing is raised and the reward for lending is increased. Lenders are now paid much more for our loans. Banks purchase whole barges of cars, then sell them to us. Banks purchase thousands of homes, then sell them to us. Now with higher borrowing costs, lenders make more money, we pay more money and if we're rational consumers, we should be spending less. We should be buying fewer cars so that more are left rusting on the car lots. We should be buying fewer homes so that more are left empty, unsold and asking prices will tank.
Remember, anything not sold is marked down and unloaded like a "fire sale." Houses, cars and groceries are the big inflation indicators. When we buy too fast and pay too much, prices skyrocket. When we pause, wait and delay our purchases, prices tank. The Fed pays keen attention to the prices of cars, houses and groceries and their goal is to crush these ridiculously high prices back down to pre-bubble price tags and return to a modest 2% microscopic price growth every year. I'd be happy if the Federal Reserve could pop the price bubbles I see in cannabis shops, liquor stores and the admission fees to whorehouses that serve only underage clean, pristine pussy. Just think back to the blown out old ragged biscuit you porked and spooged out behind the Pondu. Those blisters that haunt you are a result of gittin' some action on Tagruk Spit and brings new meaning to bar's name, "Top of the Whale."
The Federal Reserve is also responsible for popping stock and commodity price bubbles. Alan Greenspan, FED Chairman in the 90's corrected congressmen that it wasn't George W's fault for the Tech Bubble bursting, it was his. "Blame me, I raised interest rates 6 times this year." "We have too much froth in the market and I'm obligated to eliminate irrational exuberance on the trading floor." Houses have doubled and tripled in price over the last decade and the Fed has the responsibility to smash these prices down 75% and back to reality. Cars and groceries have gotten extra zeros added to their prices and the Fed has the duty to crush these prices back down to affordability. Raising interest rates back up to historical norms will achieve this. When cash-only buyers attend auctions, prices are WAY lower.
We've enjoyed super low interest rates for far too long and that is a historical anomaly. Normal savings accounts should earn 5% and normal mortgages should cost 8-10%. Normal credit card rates float between 15-29% depending on our good credit, or nose bleed levels if you have really shitty credit. We regretfully should greatly limit the use of our credit spending and limit our borrowing to just the basics like housing. Cars and groceries really ought to be bought with cash. I know yer whining and bitching but I ain't listening.
Borrowing should be expensive. It isn't your money and you should only borrow when you really need it and can afford it and take advantage of the tax deductions from your primary home like mortgage interest. Not for buying tickets to Europe or Hawaii (or some cesspool like Michigan) and making minimum payments on your credit cards for years afterwards. Those that desperately need to borrow are most likely to default. Banks love customers that keep hundreds of thousands in savings accounts and then only borrow hundreds. Safe bets. Remember, when we use credit, someone has lent you that money and they deserve a decent return on their investment in you. My saving accounts are lent out to you guys when you sign a mortgage note, get a car loan or buy shit with your credit cards. I should get paid a decent bit of interest on my savings accounts lent you to borrow, meaing you'll pay more for house and car loans and your daily credit card purchases.
Slowing borrowing with higher interest rates, slows the economy, cools world and country-wide auctions for your houses, autos and groceries and then lowers house, car and food prices. Watch house prices drop as interest rates for home loans, refinance loans and home equity loans rise up towards the double digit altitude. I can remember during the Reagan Administration when the Fed's prime lending rate was 12% and home loans were upwards of 15-18%. When bun worked at the bank, she encouraged customers to purchase 90-day Certificates of Deposits (CD's) paying 15%.
The housing market during the Reagan years cooled nicely and home values dropped almost 50%. Keeping interest rates way up prevents investors from borrowing money and investing these funds in the stock market. In the old days you could borrow at 2% and harvest a stock market profit of 10-50%, those days are long gone. Banks charge much higher costs for borrowed money and the stock market is cooling. What I mean by cooling is we've seen the DOW Jones 30 blue chip industrial stock portfolio tank 25%, the S&P 500 broad market index has dropped 30% and the NASDAQ tech sector has plummeted almost 40%.
Now look at the Permanent Fund. We gone from $84 billion down to $72. That's a real sickening drop. We could skim a PFD out of the principal, but that's not really a dividend, that's stealing from the corpus of our state savings account. A dividend is paid after all our other bills are paid, the remainder is then divided amongst us poor 907 negro resident shareholders. Oil revenue has paid our bills for over 40 years with enough left over to kick a bonus to us. Now look at Prudhoe Bay. Oil production is less than a fourth of our best. We pumped 2.2 million barrels a day way back in the 80's, now we're pumping 500,000 and dropping 6% annually.
Don't get a boner and tell me about the Willow Oil Prospect. That's on Federal Land, or better put, The National Petroleum Reserve Alaska (NPRA). That's not state land, it's actually American land. The oil royalties are split 50/50 with the Feds and the communities of the North Slope. All the village clinics, social services and housing departments receive what called Petroleum Impact Funds. The state will scavenge a meager $10 billion dollars over the next 30-40 years. That's fucking chump change. We need another Prudhoe Bay Oil Seam on state land to pull down serious ching.
As Prudhoe Bay matures, dwindles at it's predictable 6% per year and runs dry, the state of Alaska will be in the same shape as America. We're gonna have to pay out more in property taxes, income taxes and sales taxes. We could avoid this giant penalty if we eliminate school funding, state troopers, corrections, university system, department of transportation and Medicaid. Sure. Think again butt-fuckers, that shit ain't happening. Alaskans love their lavish programs and more than one-third of us 907 midgets are on welfare.
Without Permanent Fund earnings or Prudhoe Bay oil revenues, you and me are on the hook for about $17K every year. Of course infants, children, poor coloreds and retards won't be expected to pay, so double or triple that figure for us earners and savers. We're such dumb butts. If we eliminate the PFD we can facilitate an exodus of poor shits and indigenous indigents out of Alaska. If we implement a painful income tax you'll witness an exodus of wealthy, working and retired folks like us out of Alaska. I say burn the poor first, do a population count, evaluate the validity of our social programs, then roach the rich. We won't mind paying for government services if poor free-loaders are long gone and shipped back to Siberia, Africa, Appallachia, Samoa and Methico.
I've interviewed a butt load of Alaskan citizens that lived in this state prior to the lease sales on Prudhoe Bay and TAPS first pumped oil down the pipeline in 1977. Alaska didn't have any utilities in rural villages and when they did arrive, diesel fuel was used to generate electricity and all homes were heated with the same. Barrow started using natural gas after the Navy piped it in from the Barrow Gas Fields 16 miles out of town in the early 70's and Anchorage switched from diesel to natural gas after Cook Inlet offshore oil and gas derricks started pumping in the late 50's.
All of the rest of Alaska has always, and always will use diesel fuel for both electricity and heat. Diesel fuel is pretty fucking expensive, but the cheapest of all the other options. Coal is expensive to mine from the Healy Coal Mine and transport to Fairbanks. It also leaves coal ash dust all over the communities that burn it. In Fairbanks there are 4 large coal-fired electricity plants. 1 for the University (UAF Physical Power Plant), 1 for the city (Golden Valley Power), 1 for Fort Wainwright and 1 for Eilsen Air Force. During cold winters in the Fairbanks area when temperatures hover near -60 below, air pollution is classified by the EPA as hazardous to your health from the coal-fired electrical plants.
Heat for Fairbanks is still almost entirely stove oil (diesel). Citizens that burn firewood to save money on their astronomical stove oil bills only exacerbate the air pollution way off the charts. Every morning I'd blow dry powdered coal ash dust off the brand new Chrysler Cirrus LXi provided to me by the Law Offices of Clapp, Peterson and Stowers by speeding around town way over the legal speed limits. I'd warm up the car, top off the tank with Super (premium) and occasionally drive through the car wash. Considering the facts I've revealed to you coppers about my extracurricular (extra-testicular) scholastic endeavors, it was a rough life.
Without PCC (power cost equalization), heating assistance and energy assistance, rural Alaska would be, and will be, frightfully expensive. I've been startled at hearing Eskimos paying exorbitant prices from B&R (Bullock and Rotmans) for barrels of oil. It wasn't uncommon to see little native boys rolling barrels of stove oil from uptown Kotzebue, the scant distance of a stone's throw down Front Street, to their shitty shotgun shacks that were common housing 60 years ago. Rural Alaska before the 70's had zero electricity and before the 80's zero water and sewer. Hence the influx of construction workers you witnessed. Most of our friends came to Kotz for the water and sewer projects that were funded by the state. Before oil revenues arrived, the populations in rural Alaska were majority non-native and really small, and clustered around Air Force, Navy and Army Bases. Wake up and look in the mirror niggers. Clean water, sewer and electricity has produced a brown baby boom.
We've trimmed back our Corona Virus stimulus expenses and we've nearly eliminated the unemployment boondoggle schemes. We've also ended the lavish Medicaid, Food Stamp, Rental Assistance and their ridiculously lax certifications processes. I mean gone by the end of March. After the 31st of the month, you'll likely hear customers in line at pharmacies cursing because their Medicaid coverage zeroed out and the real prices for common medicines for cholesterol, blood pressure and diabetes runs in the thousands every month. Our federal and state governments have been paying a lot of the medical bills for our poorer citizens for years. This just a small taste of comeuppance.
For my native readers, your medical expenses are paid for by the IHS (Indian Health Services) and if you make a minimal monthly income under $2,000 per month, part of your medical coverage is subsidized by Medicaid. That's why the native hospitals question you if your monthly incomes meet their income guidelines. Now watch Washington DC. If IHS is de-funded, you'll be writing some monster scary checks for visits to native clinics and native hospitals. If yer smart you'll purchase medical insurance or get a job with premium health care coverage. Just like us dumb white fuckers.
My wife is always asked if she makes under 2K a month and she always says, "no." She has the PERS Tier I AETNA coverage, but that has it's limitations when we reach the age of 65. Her IHS benefits cover everything not covered by her state pension medical coverage. I myself have to purchase Medicare Part B to compliment my Dental, Vision and Audio I purchased from the Alaska Retirees Medical Plan. Remember, I ain't AFN (ain't fucking native) so I HAVE to purchase Medicare Part B. PERS Tier I covers all our prescribed medicines.
Remember, when you turn the Six-Five, you gotta purchase Medicare because the coverage we've enjoyed from the retirement medical plan cuts way back and dumps most of the responsibility for payment on Medicare. Part A is emergency room care and is free. Part B is the basic medical coverage and costs $170.00 per month. Part C is the dental, vision, audio and is $150.00 per month and Part D is all the fucking medicine we take every morning with breakfast. That's another C-note, $100 fucking bucks. Set aside a total of $400-$500 a month out of your social security for that damn bill for the full Medicare coverage. Your AETNA PERS coverage steps back and only pays your copay, deductibles and non-covered services, procedures and extraordinary medical bills. Like penis transplants from horses and donkeys.
Fuck medical miracles. The 3 drugs that have lengthened American longevity are the basics: Cholesterol, blood pressure and insulin. Humans 400 years ago lived on average about half our life span. If you take any castle tours in Europe you'll have to duck way down to enter doorways and walkways. Folks were rarely 5 feet tall and big dumb motherfuckers like us will bash our heads or scrape our scalps in these old structures.
The Ice Man found frozen in the glacial pocket in the Alps was 5000 years old and showed heart disease already visible in his circulatory system. Ice Man was an affluent dude that ate more meat than his fellow cave men. He possessed a Bronze Age ax and also Stone Age tools and clothing, but was still murdered by a killer's arrow that was yanked back out to conceal the maker of the arrow. History is littered with classic examples of homicide and evidence tampering, yet nothing was stolen from his person. Anthropologists surmised that they were investigating a 50 centuries old professional hit or village-based assassination.
Even today, despite the cost to our health care in the form of cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar medications, us modern humans require a high protein, high calcium and high calorie diet to attain our taller stature, superior dentistry, brain size and strength. Around the world, citizens now eating cooked beef, plentiful dairy, refined enriched grains and lots of fat and calories are growing taller than their historical counterparts. But that diet has a price to pay. Our guts have a little difficulty with so much non-human breast milk, cooked red meat, and super highly enriched carbohydrate grains and starches. The cost for our human growth, brain development and longer lives comes in the forms of gastric issues, heart disease and diabetes. Hence the pills you and take every fucking day.
Regardless of human beings' slow evolution to digest and absorb this new Super Man gut bomb power chow, this same super nutritional diet has facilitated much taller humans around the world, other continents and even in rural Alaska. My wife is always astounded at the height she sees in the healthy class of her fellow aborigines. Of course there's still a lot of short little maggots that eat only mud-sourced native foods, sweets like candy and pop and deprive themselves wholesome diets and superior size and strength. Simply put, short, weak, sick, no-teefer river rats, reservation dog fuckers, in-bred hillbillies and ghetto niggers eat stupid shit. Healthy diets requires an education. Think about it.
As us affluent boomers flood the medical industry demanding top-notch services and state of the art prescriptions, our AETNA pension coverage and Medicare are expected to rain money on us and bandage our aging butts, cure our infections from poor sexual behavior and heal our failing lungs, livers and pancreas from eating, drinking and smoking WAY too much. I'm likely the most guilty party amongst us fuckers and would happily take lungs and guts and eyes outa yer grand kids corpses. And I'd be perfectly happy to swap my old gray rotten organs with yer daughters and grandaughters abortions.
I like banks of all types. Money banks, blood banks and organ banks. Oh, and don't forget Brewers malt, hop and yeast banks to protect our beer for centuries in the future. Plus Cannabis seed banks. See me smiling? Beer and bong hits are the breakfast of champions. I miss championship breakfasts waking and baking, and sport-fucking as a hobby, exercise and relaxation. Goddamned menopause. Or better put: meno-stop.
I've lectured at the vast improvement in diet and overall health of rural Alaskans since statehood and settlement of land claims. I can't pound the point home that America's diet has been the envy of the rest of the world for the last century. Japanese citizens have seen a parallel explosion in height and strength as their wealth and affluence has allowed the increased consumption American levels of protein, calcium and highly refined and enriched grains. As a matter of fact, the entire world has put excruciating pressure on inventories of beef, pork and chicken, dairy and refined white flour. The wholesale prices of these grocery commodities reflect this scorched Earth demand.
As citizens of the world step away from indigenous sources of protein like Chinese bug worm pizza and bat shit soup, and shift their menu choices towards American fare, we see massive increases in life expectancy and population growth. With 8 billion humans craving our good food, we may see increased tightness in the commodity inventories of our mealtime plates of grub.
With the importation of cattle, pork and chicken from Europe to the New World, we've seen higher grades of meats. Every scrap of bovine, swine and poultry is now utilized in the industrial processing of these meats. The lungs (tripe), guts and internal organs are used in sausages, pastrami, salami, bologna and ethnic cuisine like liver, kidney pie, the blood is used in soups, broths and Au-jus dips. It's crude but funny when I hear the joke that the best flavored hot dog wieners contain "eyes and beaks, knuckles and nuts."
Meat fats from pork, chicken and beef is sourced for deep-fat frying, gravies, sauces, and blended with sugar, honey and molasses, injected into tougher cuts of meats or applied to the exterior as sweet and savory glazes. Don't forget Crisco is a blend of animal and vegetable fats and makes superior breads, cakes and pastries. Lastly the feathers from poultry are steamed, bleached, stuffed into pillows, down comforters and seat cushions and all our nation's animal hide is used to manufacture leather coats, wallets, hand bags, belts and even footballs and soccer balls: pigskin. My university car had leather seats and it was well worth the extra grand of two added to the purchase price of the car.
Due to America's leading edge manufacture of grains and starches, we've increased crop yields by more than 10-fold. Wheat, soybean and potatoes are now so abundant that America is considered "the bread basket to the world." Aside from increased crop yields we also vastly improved the industrial milling processes to produce trillions of tons of white flour, oats, barley, hops, corn meal and soy beans. These products have been perfected and improved in overall quality with factory mechanical sorting, cleaning and separating. The shells, fiber and hulls are ground into fiber supplements like Metamucil, recycled back to agriculture or injected in sandblasting machines and used to remove paint, rust and corrosion from steel hulls of ships, automobile fenders and cleaning expensive metals where sand or crushed glass in industrial sandblasters would've simply obliterated your work in progress. Firearms manufactures use sandblasters filled with ground seed shells, husks and chafe for the sheen us dummies love to drool over.
Lastly we need to give credit to dairy farmers. No large family could survive solely on yer mom's breast milk. Feeding a large family, those sore tender titties would've fallen off and littered the floor with ragged paper bags and shredded flesh melons. Roberta Brower (Danny Burnor's girlfriend) told us about a family in Kaktovik whose mom breast-fed her entire family until they left home. In rural Alaska, men don't leave home until they find another stupid native woman to shack up with, beat on, rape on and suck dry. Julia Stalker breast-fed her children until they were 6 years old and Helena Hildreth (Grant Hildreth's widowed wife) breast-fed her children all the way to age of 7. Jesus Fuck! I wouldn't want a blow job lasting 7 years, who'd want those fine titties worn down and dried up so horribly? Even Dolly Parton couldn't have ever performed such fantastic feats of nipple Olympics. I'd sure like to be on the receiving end of that event. Go ahead, take a hammer to yer dick and get back to reading my stupid shit.
Okay, quit giggling you retired retards and get back to my nutritional bullshit. We can thank the cows and goats for replacing and expanding milk consumption in America's morning breakfast cereal, desserts and toppings. Cow and goat milk is an extraordinarily valuable commodity. From these simple buckets of udder squeezings we separate the fat and the watery whey. The watery whey is used in beer, weight lifter supplements and animal feed but the fat is the gold. Cow and Goat milk fat is used to manufacture yogurt, cheese, cottage cheese, sour cream and ice cream. The bonus is that nutrition in milk is fat soluble and the richest dairy products contain the best food value. Imagine nachos without sour cream or heavy cream unavailable in our rich tasty exotic pastries or removing the half-n-half I pour in my expensive coffee every morning. I'm visualizing a nightmare existence in a world without cheese on pizza or Alaska's favorite: bowls of ice cream. Fucking forget about it.
The reason I illustrate the extraordinary value of cow and goat milk fat is the wonderful improvement in brain development. Breast milk, otherwise known as Cholestrum is nearly all fat and helps babies' brains grow exponentially. This is the most significant trait seen in Homo Sapiens: larger brains. The fat in dairy is the perfect dietary supplement in increasing brain size and improving brain function. Removing huge supplements of rich dairy fat in a child's diet will produce children we see in Appalachia and Africa. We also see this in rural Alaska. Rich sources of dairy fat has proven to improve education outputs for children from birth to adolescence. I'm reading yer minds and I'm specifying dairy products from cow and goat breast milk, not yer dick milk nor ball cheese.
The calcium dairy products offers us is what explains taller humans the world over. Natives, Asians and Pygmies were never supposed to be short, small and simple-minded. Lacking rich sources of dairy at every meal is historically proven to be the culprit when we witness short, small retarded humans. Removing low quality indigenous foods and replacing them with high-grade meat products, high-fat dairy and enriched refined grains has given us better academic scores, vastly better athletic performances, taller skeletal structure and nearly doubling life-spans. Back in 2020 my wife turned the age of 70 years old. Her humorous comment "I'm now 140 years old in native years." "Boolks. I jokes." Sad and tragic statement. I added the inane "boolks" suffix just to dummy up my composition. Fucking funny though.
Native indulgence in subsistence foods is a nice trip down memory lane and is wonderfully reminiscent of our horrible histories, but don't force yer retarded grand kids to a miserable life of bad teeth, small withered bones, puny brains and dummer'n shit brain function. Look around you, our children would've been dwarfs, midgets, gimps and retards without modern high quality food choices you purchased and served with the pay we earned doing public safety shit work. I'll punch you in the mouth if you call world-class nutrition "white man food." It's the combination of high-quality foods, top-shelf medicine and massive increases in education and learning that keeps me from looking like Dood Lincolnm, speaking like Dolly Hawley and writing like Skeeter Jepson. Or being a member of the Henry clan. Point taken? That'd be a curse worse than a life as a child prostitute in 1890's Nome, Skagway and Ketchikan. My ass fucking bleeds.
Excavating the 1500 year-old Arctic Family on the North Slope found insects, worms, grubs, sour fish and lots of grasses in their stomachs. You'll never achieve Michael Jordan's level of fitness on that diet, instead you'll be forever stunted and sawed-off like Butch Lincoln. Alaskan Natives would never sit at the coffee table or in physics lecture halls with Einstein had Nixon not created Indian Health Services and started inoculating brown kids with medicines for common diseases that were fatal to niggers here in the Wino-Seven. At your next dinner table mealtime prayers, give thanks for the federal government shipping metric tons of vastly better foodstuffs to this stupid section here where we're shitting and pissing on wrong end of the North American continent.
Regarding the shift from lousy garbage subsistence foods towards skeleton and body-building super-foods, you should thank yourselves. Even if you racked up your credit card bills paying for groceries for your rodents. As inflation is pushed back down with higher interest rates, pay cash for your cars and groceries, borrow prudently and judiciously for you homes, then double up the payments, zero out that fucking mortgage and write off all the interest, taxes and insurance expenses against your adjusted gross income (AGI) on your IRS tax paperwork you'll need to file before April 15th.
I can hear you fuckers. TMI dude (too much info). Fuck it. I'm more than just a criminal that mops puke in the Kotzebue Jail, serves arrest warrants on village crooks and arranges State Trooper drug buys, raids, arrests and seizures.
I'm a really stupid MBA that could've been grown puny, retarded and ugly like real Alaskan residents, but I'm not. I'm just a Finn that with a smart-ass sense of humor and types 400 words per minute.
"Never get in a pissing match with a man that buys printer's ink by the barrel."
Karl.
posted by Alaska: Local And State News. at 3:45 PM
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