Alaska has a counter-cyclical economy. America can suck my ass.

Top of the morning gents,

To me, the cup is always half full. I smile at shit and chuckle at crap and look for the upside in every disaster. I been hearing dumb-ass hillbillies bitching about the price of gasoline, empty shelves and sky high inflation. The same big chunky Alaskan white bitch hillbillies that were former cast members in commercials for Stay-Puff Marshmallows. That's some big chunky butt. I'm including fat old man pussy too. Got no baby formula? Suck my dick.

Fuck it. I was trained by the best: old native home builders. Empty shelves only mean that you were too fucked up to forecast the shit ye needed, in advance. I had to take the shit that was available whenever I faced shortages at Tupik Hardware, or better phrased in broken Inupiaq/English, "Hardware-Me" (Pete Lambert). When me and Scott Wade were framing in the extensions to house 369 on 2nd avenue, there was zero T-111 exterior grooved plywood sheeting boards. All sold out. So my thought was, let's just continue with the original weird boards that Joe and Lydia Harris had covered the original part of the house with: 3/4 inch thick sound deadening boards. A composite fiber board like OSB (oriented strand board) that was chips and sawdust, pressed flat and soaked with Epoxy resin, creating a tremendously strong product with excellent insulation ratings and sound absorption.

Scott Wade and I had extended the north side porch out 8 feet to create another room, and extended the south side porch by 16 feet creating a 2-bed dormer. We had to bash off the old shitty flat-roof porches and then after framing in the extensions, with the carpentry assistance of Mike Zagars, we stacked rows of triangle-shaped trusses 2 feet apart and carried the original roof-line architecture scheme, but with a T-shaped overview instead of a simple rectangle ranch box dwelling.

Zagars popped by to see how the project was coming and explained how tricky old-to-new restorations were. He'd also explained he was in the process of rebuilding a couple old houses uptown, just north of Rotman's. I showed him where we'd took a sledge hammer to the old porches, then layed out floor beams for both add-ons, and covered the floors with plywood and tipped up framed walls, front and back. He totally agreed with what we'd started, but extending the roof line needed indentical roof trusses, so we measured, cut and nailed 2x4's over the old triangles on the old exposed trusses on the street side of the house with retractable 2-headed nails.

We pulled the master truss down, then modeled a butt-load of triangles just like it. Mike spent the afternoon assisting us until we had a stack of roofing triangle trusses stacked and tilt up high atop our framed-in room extension add-ons. Fucking A. Projects haul ass when someone starts throwing lumber around, measuring, cutting and nailing faster'n a motherfucker with me and Scott, Danny Burnor, and Charlie Tikik holding the dumb ends of the boards.

We propped, spaced and secured the trusses, sheeted them with plywood, layed tar-paper roll-out, then Danny Burnor, Mike Zagars, Scott Wade, Charlie Tikik and I put down brand-new metal roofing over the entire house. We layed and screwed the metal right over the old 3-tab composite material left behind by Joe Harris like a fucking steam-roller and then put the trim caps on the peaks and the elbow shaped end pieces over the edges. I couldn't believe my eyes. Some things just bring tears to a carpenter's eyes. It looked fucking beautiful.

In payment, I handed a bunch of acid to Danny Burnor and Zagars, they each also gladly took half-gallons of Jim Beam and Mike happily took a new barrel stove. Danny had assembled 3 barrel stoves, spray painted them with black high-temp cast iron stove paint: one for the sauna in the porch of 676 Caribou, one for inside 369 and the last I gave to Zagars in trade for labor and supervising the truss assembly, plywood covering and sheet metal roof work. Mike was psyched to use the barrel stove to heat his project house and burn scrap lumber, raked and swept up sawdust and garbage.

Writing this, I still feel a debt unpaid to him for taking the lead and barking orders to me, Scott, Charlie Tikik and Danny Burnor. Charlie didn't want any LSD, but was happy to fill his backpack with numerous fifths of Bacardi 151, and ambled uptown to party with his buddies. Native buddies that likely wouldn't rebuild an old house with the 3 English speaking white dudes Charlie had worked with all day, night and into the next morning. Me and bun ordered our maximum allowable amount of hard liquor every month and I'd emptied the last of our booze and acid working this all-day and all-night work jag. A long work sesh that was a really sunny and long 24 hour work-shift and was starting all over again with Kotzebue's fishermen loading up and heading out for the next salmon period. The whole town smelled like fish, ocean, sawdust and road dirt. Some of you graveyard shift patrolmen popped by and checked in on our project and these memories put us all right there, at that moment. The saddest aspect is that I'll never see any of those gents, nor any of you men, ever again. Yup, that sense of lost time gets to me too.

Back to work. Me and Scott still needed to cover the bare framed exterior of this behemoth. There was zero T-111 in town so Win Scott at AC hardware sold me 2 pallets of Sound Deadening Boards, for almost nothing. "Shit Karl, you get that shit out of my yard, I'll pay you to take it. Nobody uses that shit anymore. It's too heavy and too expensive." So the following morning, Frank Miguel fork-lifted the 2 banded pallets to our job site. Me and Scott went crazy covering the framed walls. We tipped the damn heavy sheets into position, nailed up the boards and cruised around the entire house that had exposed framing, like covering the ribs of an overturned boat.

The shit worked like a motherfucker. After we sheeted the entire exterior, the inside of the house was silent. Deathly silent and cool. The Sound Deadening Boards (SD boards) were merely the foundation, with Tyvek thermal and moisture barrier white wrapping paper to be stapled up next and T-111 grooved plywood as the final exterior wall covering. Of course, the Tyvek and T-111 would arrive on the next barge, next year. Fuck me.

With half-inch ACX plywood covering the new trusses and shiny brown sheet-metal covering the entire roof and SD boards covering the exterior walls, we'd finally completed the look I was after. The house appeared to be all original and not another junky HUD model 500 POS (piece of shit) that you dildos wrongly refer to as NANA housing. I had created a new larger T-shaped modern energy efficient house upon the hulk of a box-shaped energy nightmare. Taking advantage of the available materials and not whining like a cunt that my choice of plywood was out of stock, the alternative improved the overall thermal (insulation) factor for the entire house.

Upon completion of the siding and new metal roofing, half the town's builders like Gordon Ito, Eugene Smith, the Capones and a bunch of older gents motored by and examined the weird looking siding, made comments and offered opinions about how Joe and Lydia Harris's house sure looked way different, and bigger. Here's the bonus: reviewing our lumber bill, Win charged us only a couple bucks per board, not the $65 we expected with T-111. Who's bitching now?

The Capone narc job was finished just before Christmas of '92, and the spook job with Mat-Su Narcotics was posted, so I told Bish we were in the mood to sell the house back to KIC. The program was a native home-ownership scheme with the intention of selling stale derelict reservation properties to motivated native shareholder buyers that had the KSA (knowledge, skills and ability) to restore these neglected eyesores back into shape. We paid about $19,000 to KIC and after roughly $46K in labor and materials, we sold the whole construction overhaul back to KIC for $45,000. Yup, I took a roughly $20k tax write-off (loss) selling the house back to KIC that cost me and bun a total of $65K to purchase and overhaul. I had to play by the rules. The intent of the program was for us to fix/repair the house and then live in them. Not do a TV show Home Improvement Flip and pocket the proceeds.

With my earnings and bun's wages from the state of Alaska (DCRA), the $20K tax write-off (loss) allowed us to drastically lower our AGI (adjusted gross income) and pay zero dollars to the IRS when the next April 15th rolled around. We actually received a multi-thousand dollar tax refund after H&R Block packed and stacked all our paperwork, and filed the motherfucker.

With the KIC check we put $15K down on the Willow property and the IRS refund was dineros to invest in cleaning it and hauling away hillbilly farm fucker trash, car parts and stupid welfare white nigger shit piled all over. Now you know why I call the Mat-Su the Valley of Trash, them butt-fuckers are toothless hayseed white trash that have a phobia of cleaning tools and products and solid waste transfer stations.

Here's the silver lining to Karl-n-Bun's 369 2nd avenue Kotzebue Construction Restoration Project: Harold Lambert came in with KEA wages and damn good construction skills and whaled the shit outa Phase One of my project. He totally picked up where I left off following the home ownership regulations, pouring a million fucking bucks in more materials and sweat equity into house 369. Harold gave me and bun a tour of the house and he must've been reading my fucking mind. It turned out exactly as I imagined.

The north side addition he turned into a bathroom, boiler room and laundry room and the south side addition he added 2 bedrooms leaving the interior of the old HUD house as a grand living room and kitchen. Real sweet. Now take into consideration that he worked for electrical company wages and the wiring, plumbing and wall dressing all transformed the interior into a top-shelf, non-native castle.

Too bad Paulette was such a smokey bitch-slut and got the boot. Way to go Eskimo. Harold is now married to some Schaeffer chick (Pete Schaeffer's daughter) and it looks like the guy is gonna die in his own home that he and I (and Joe and Lydia Harris) built, with completely worn out donkey balls. It's been said that the third time is a charm, but wife number 2 works magic. Take a hint niggers.

When you go shopping for lumber and hardware and the inventory is sold out, be creative and take a chance on more expensive alternatives. Just like my love-lives. When I got exiled from rural monkey Alaska, I was forced to make do with Scandinavian and Nordic materials that were WAY more expensive. Figure it out.

My secret to success is that I never had any American children. This freedom allowed me to travel all over Alaska and Europe, rebuilding a fuck-load of houses along the way. It also allowed me to work retarded schemes with you armed motherfuckers and graying gunslingers, and take on more romances and sack more girls than all yer families and affairs. Combined. If you think yer kids are retarded, imagine what my kids would've looked and smelled like: buck-tooth Siberian mongoloids, cross-eyed autistic Eskimos, really smart niggers with horrid BO and dullard retard Norwegian, Finnish and Swedish stupor-models.

A rule of thumb (and dick) to follow: look for the good and praise it. Note: Alaska's economy is counter-cyclical to the lesser 48. I mean it. When America is whining and bitching like cunning runts, or more accurately, running cunts, look at Alaska's good fortune. We're making bank on our dwindling oil production and the TAPS ought be gold-plated. We're fucking rolling in the dough. Juneau just passed the largest budget in Alaska's history, fully funding every program, department and boondoggle imaginable. As America's economy gets wasted by the Green New Deal, devastating energy costs, inflationary consumable expenses and LBGT-Q politics, we're cheesing groovy and smiling like a motherfucker. Or more accurately, in view of our marriages, great-grand-motherfuckers.

Don't forget, when the rest of America is barking mad, popping tampons and spraying graffiti with their pissy whiney discharge, we're doing great. As a matter of economics, we're doing better than great. I just saw gasoline at $5.60 a gallon, I fucking cheered like a fat faggot with a cubes of butter up my ass (Gumby and Barney would've been proud). NS crude is topping $120 per barrel and us Alaskans are making bank. I listen to conservative talk radio and all their gripes are about President Biden and his disastrous energy policies but back home here in rural monkey Alaska, we're rolling in the dough and the direct beneficiaries of these policies. Remember when Chump, I mean Trump was in the White House, we had cheap oil coming out our asses.

Putin's Vietnam (Ukraine), cancellation of federal land oil leases, shutting down hydro-logical fracturing (FRAC) wells and the Keystone Pipeline, forced wrinkled dick President Magoo to take responsibility for spiked worldwide oil prices. Alaska is back in the drivers seat getting a blow job from old white lower 48 whining toothless geezer dudes. Can you suck orange dick? Sperm and eggs over the age of 35 may be rotten and inadmissible to fertility clinics and sperm banks, but makes great nutrition for stupid old bitchy conservative white men, angry at losing the last presidential election to niggers, faggots, liberals and minorities.

President Magoo did us 907 chimplet porkers a really big favor. So don't get pissed off at the economy or energy politics, we're like Saudi Sheikhs and we get to torture, kill and chop up faggot-ass journalists. I'm chuckling thinking of you cops wearing towels on yer heads like rag-head sand niggers smiling at our fat wallets and fat pensions due to skyrocket crude oil prices. Or better put, we're in the same boat as Norwegian ass-wipes with blue eyes, blond hair and a sovereign wealth fund that is nearing a trillion dollars. Fuck yeah.

Almost. Our Perm Fund is maybe $80 billion and growing. If we avoid the forecasted decline in the stock market with each FED rate hike and diversify our Permanent Fund away from residential real estate, staying in commercial, we'll be in pretty good shape, but for the foreseeable future, we're all about oil revenues for our state spending and contribs to the perm fund. Don't fight the FED and don't fight the markets. Our stock markets have dropped from their highs down a little over 20% and that's official Bear Market Territory. Let the markets go wherever they want, America may be hell-bent fer leather but a recession benefits us 907 dill-rods.

Just a quarter century ago, we witnessed Fed Chairman Greenspan beat down a market infected with "irrational exuberance" and the end of the tech bubble and Dot-Com mania. Greenspan totally flogged and scattered amateur faggot investors out of the market with 6 Fed Rate hikes within one year.

Now another issue that's near and dear to us rusty killers and graying gunslingers, the issue of liberal policies and the fear of taking away our guns. Don't believe it for a second. When Clinton pushed his micro-scrotum gun agenda, he earned a trophy from the retail firearms sales lobby. Yup, him and Obama only accelerated gun sales nationwide. If you have any junker nigger shooters laying about, clean 'em up and sell 'em. Pocket the proceeds and buy some other commodity, like slaves, cocaine or illegal immigrant child prostitutes. Every little Methican girl and boy that we smuggle across the Rio Grand will bring us a million dollars in fuckee-suckee dineros. That's some fat wallet there hombres. By the time these little skanks die of AIDS or drug overdoses, we'll pull down roughly a mil. How cool is that?

Wyatt Earp and the Dexter Clan pulled down approximately $10,000 dollars over the viable life of a prostitute in Nome, Alaska. Adjusting for inflation, that's a million in today's money. Soapy Smith didn't quite make that much, his whores ended in the pig pens of Skagway as soon as they got TB, pneumonia or clap. Dead children and blown out whores that have been fed to the hogs gives modern day Canadian bacon that really wonderful taste. Don't get all queeby you pussies, mining camps have thousands of gold fever suckers to feed. And fuck. "Mine the miners" (Alaska's state song).

You see, Alaska is one big flim-flam scam. We attract suckers that believe they're gonna get rich quick. But instead, end up doing all of our chores, washing our diapers and massaging our balls. The real gold is in the oil-rich public service retirements. We all will get $2 mil in health care benefits for both retiree and spouse, and roughly double that in monthly pension payments, dental vision and audio care, spousal survival benefits and the biggy: long term care when we need our rest home dicks tugged, washed and chewed. Senior living don't gotta suck. Come visit me at my rest home, we got kill bud, great coffee and Jameson's whiskey to use as coffee creamer. Plus, I've got a batch of Thai massage beauties that do serious rub and tugs on yer wood and with a decent gratuity, drain yer nads burping sperm. Old fart living don't gotta be shit. Use your imagination.

Now think dickheads. Counter-cyclical economics also seems to be counter-intuitive. We all see how oil and gas wells gushing all over the lesser 48 provided cheap gasoline and heating oil prices at home, on the rez and out in the rural monkey bush. But don't overlook the super low barrel oil prices flowing down the Trans-Alaska Pipeline. When the market is cheaper'n shit, that's when our PFD is in the most jeopardy and an income tax is more likely to re-appear. Alaska has always been a super expensive place to live, breathe and fuck. 2000 freight air, sea and truck miles are built into everything we smoke, snort and chew. Mike the meat man at Hanson's explained that the Department of Agriculture subsidized the cost of most beef, chicken and pork shipped to Kotzebue and all of Alaska's chimpy villages scattered about. We still enjoy considerable subsidies on the basics like food products, so we can't bitch about paying the true cost of our obesity.

Imagine paying the true cost of Alaska's generous programs and departments. Our last budget was $7 billion spread out over 700,000 citizens. Do the math dildos, that $10,000 per person. Now subtract shit poor welfare niggers and then stick that tax bill on the remaining half of us with serious money. Yup, that's about 50% of Alaska that has the money to suffer such a tax levy. You'd be fucking hacked to be saddled with a $20K tax bill every year, just because you ain't white, brown or red trash. Abortions, slavery, sterilizations, death penalties, deportations and penal colonies start to look perty fucking good now, don't they? Instead of shooting 1500 dogs every year, why not hire KPD to shoot FAS retards and place them around the old dump for wolf and fox trap bait. Seriously diggable shit.

Look at yer kids, then consider paying all their grocery bills, medical bills, rents and utilities, alcohol and drug expenses for their entire life! Real soon, you'll agree with me: organ donor bank. Them little niggers got the same DNA as yer stupid ass. When you need to go to Costco or Walmart's fer eyes, nads, internal organs and lungs, thank yer lucky stars that y'all humped like mad demons, blindfolded and with a clothes pin on yer nose. All them little retards will help you live beyond 200 years old. We're all 60 and older, so only half the light a 20 year old sees, makes it through our old foggy lenses to our detached retina. Imagine seeing with brand-new eyeballs and fucking with a brand-new set of nasties.

Alaskans truly care fer the poor, sick, stupid and stinky shitty dicks. We're all so benevolent when it's somebody else's money. As soon as you gotta take out a second mortgage, sell all yer guns and extra toys and cars to pay for Alaska's poor, stupid, lazy and infected, you'll become Adolf Hitler's wet dream. Nobody hates the poor, until it's yer money going down the homeless industrial complex and native village rat holes. I doubt you'll write checks to support homeless native bums spewing butt-retch and stool-barf shakes all over Anchorage.

When I gotta pay for welfare, food stamps, SNAP (subsidized nicotine and alcohol programs) and WIC, it's time to invest in cute little darling midget sized harnesses and cute little buggy whips. Imagine Alaska powered by little native slaves working for their food and lodging. I'm chuckling at the image of midget niggers engaged in forced labor. Fuck me, harnessed tiny goofy dwarf natives are hilarious and if you add Manillaq monsters with crossed eyes, drool and shitty drawers, I see yer photo albums and family reunions at next season's Ewing Slave Auction.

If we Americans paid our tax bills, we wouldn't have any inflation or a national debt. Yup, inflation is a hidden tax, well-known by economists, but concealed from the ignorant masses: you fuckers. Americans hate paying their bills, especially their tax bills due to the Treasury. Instead of charging all of us citizens the true, fair and accurate tax bill, we've agreed to let our Treasury print WAY too much money to pay our federal obligations, therefore greatly diluting any dollars you've saved.

Two measures of a bloated money supply are the prices of new and used automobiles and the prices of residential homes. Of recent, these prices have tracked upward to the tune of 40%, which mirrors perfectly, the Treasury's hyperactive printing of paper fiat money. Additionally, instead of paying our actual cost of government, we've endorsed selling US treasury notes (T-bills and bonds) as an easy way to charge most of our federal operational expenses on a giant $35 trillion dollar credit card. We're such stupid girls.

The debt service (interest payments) for our national debt is starting to eat away at a significant part of our federal budget and lessening our ability to pay for important programs like Social Security, Medicare, Public Assistance, HUD, IHS and Department of Defense. These departments consume 75% of our total budget. Americans hate paying taxes and really hate paying their bills.

Don't play the political party blame game. Same shit, different day. Republicans cut taxes and defer payment of our tax bills with inflationary printing of money and borrowing. Democrats introduce spending programs and pay for them with inflationary printing of money and borrowing. When you point yer finger at someone, ye got 3 fingers pointing back at you. Look in the mirror and just think, "It's nobody's fault but mine." America will never afford another world war. We're toasted roached faggots.

Blame both Trump and Biden, the song remains the same. We're like all those stupid kids that get car loans and credit cards. When the bill collector comes knocking, the equity in any house, car, pension and savings bank account is fair game. I've heard underwater dudes and dudettes claim they'll just file for bankruptcy and discharge all their debts. Any assets, savings, investments, equity and second or third mortgages will be levied first.

My buddy Mitch works at the billing department at the local hospital here in Soldotna. He's worked for them for a few years now, after transferring from Washington State. Get this, he worked for Asset Forfeiture and Asset Seizure in the tri-state area (Washington, Idaho and Oregon) for the IRS. He and I are MBA motherfuckers with accounting focuses and his duties at Central Peninsula Hospital is to garnish, levy and attach properties, assets and pension funds.

Every year the hospital faces multimillion dollar billings from short-sighted retarded folks that skipped buying good health insurance, or failed to add supplemental insurance on top of Medicare. It's quite common for patients to arrive with stomach pains or chest pains and walking out, get slapped with hospital bills for surgeries such as hernias, coronary bypasses, heart valve repair/replacement, cancer removals, chemo-therapies and radiation treatments. And get this, most fucking bills are for a half mil. Fuck yeah dudes. That's $500K for just getting warmed up. Most treatments easily exceed our $2 million cap in our PERS pension AETNA health care plans. We ain't free-riding aboriginies, so plan yer sicknesses after you've turned 65 and purchase Medicare part B.

To receive federal, state and borough grants, all hospitals have to exercise due diligence in collecting any and all possible monies for services rendered. Guess what? My buddy Mitch says Central Peninsula Hospital seizes over 100 houses, properties, savings accounts and non-state and non-federal pensions, every year. Stings, don't it? The only monies that cannot be attached, levied or garnished is Social Security and State pensions like our PERS retirements. Everything else is fair game. 401K, IRA, Roth's, savings, home equities are hoovered up, but not yer Social Security nor PERS.

Here's another piss off. If we try to hide assets registered in our names, Mitch reviews the NEXUS/LEXUS asset research tools lawyers, IRS and bill collectors use and go back 5 years. So even if we attempt to dispose of a property by quit claim transfers and give it to our big-booby sugar-cooter mistresses or secret poon-tang fish-licks, within 5 years back, the attachment and seizure is valid and enforceable. If you are thinking about ditching assets, sell them, don't just give or gift them to yer kids or mistresses. If you sell them, pay down all yer medical bills and sit on the savings.

If you do require catastrophic medical care for your obesity, tobacco, age or family histories, pay out what you can, drain all yer savings, and if possible, sell yer house and join me at the senior center. Showing good faith and fair dealing with hospitals and rehabilitation facilities goes a long way in the view of the judges, courts and hospital collection agencies. In most real estate attachments, the hospital won't seize yer shit if you honor the debt and make monthly payments. Then the hospital will only take everything when you sell, or transfer title. Or die.

Hey, once yer broke, you can qualify for Medicaid. No assets, no job, no savings and we can hang out at ANMC with our blind, dentured, oxygen-machined wives, living happily ever after at the old folks home. I don't need to remind you that we are all really fucking old, and as we age, the super expensive health care expenses you'll all be requiring will only steadily increase. So when you turn 65, sign up and pay for fucking Medicare and tap into America's $35 trillion dollar credit card. You'll avoid this collection and bankruptcy nightmare most baby-boomers inevitably face. By adding Medicare part B to our AETNA pension health care plan. we'll never see or pay another hospital bill.

My old Vietnam Vet buddies at our previous residence wouldn't go to the dentist, eye doctor nor dare enter a clinic for check-ups or blood panels. They've since died, leaving me the only goddamned male living at the facility. No shit, after Richard, Steve and Ron left me and bun's building toes up, tits up and dick in the dirt, I was the last and only man in two buildings with 20 apartments, smelling most pissy feminine, feline and canine, inhabited by a mess of women the same age as yer wives. Not a pretty site. I was surrounded by a million fucking grandmas, and no grandpas to bullshit with, take apart guns and drink my coffee loaded with Jameson's or Hennessey non-dairy coffee creamer. I may be sober as a motherfucker, but I make a fucking really great coffee server and bartender. I also play old KOTZ broadcasts on my beater radio.

Now back to business. Always look at the positive, count yer blessings and focus on the glass half full. Us Alaskans are dialed in: pimping and bitching. We got this dicked. I forecast rocket high crude oil prices for another couple years. If we can manipulate China and Russia into a self-suicidal world war, our NS Crude will only become more valuable. So will gold, silver and a slew of AK rare metals.

The Ambler Metals Mine will be a bonanza for the NANA Region. In the last NANA Hunter, the president announced closing Red Dog, ceasing operations, de-mobilization of equipment, land reclamation and site restoration completed in 10 years (2032). I remember the battle to get the permits to open the Red Dog Mine way back almost 4 decades ago.

I'm impressed that the largest lead and zinc deposit on planet Earth has been completely tractored and hauled away, leaving the entire region, water table, rivers, streams and snow melt absolutely free of naturally occurring toxic heavy metals. Mining all the lead and zinc ore deposits through NANA land, state land and federal land, made us all money and was a successful environmental clean-up.

No shit, a natural heavy metal Super Fund ore seam paid for NW Arctic schools AND all our property taxes. All the years of NANA's dividend payouts were partially funded by Red Dog royalties and PILT proceeds. PILT means Payment In Lieu of Taxes. It also paid a goodly amount of bun's NANA Elder checks for $1500 she receives every January. When (and if) yer wives reach the age of 65, they will automatically start getting these elder checks. You'll have to ask Megan Lincoln's brother, the president, if us white motherfuckers will continue receiving these elder checks after our wives choke and puke. David Craig received Rachel's for all the years he survived her, but corporate office and shareholders may have voted to stop payments to all us spouses that are not NANA shareholders. NANA shares are inheritable, but not the elder supplemental checks. Check to see if spouses can still receive them, post mortem.

The glass is always half full. Don't forget it. No matter which way the winds of fortune and politics are blowing, there's opportunity for us. Jamie Diamond, the CEO of JP Morgan warns us that the US economy is headed for a hurricane, like a CAT 5 tornado that'll leave Alaska sitting pretty and stroking fat bat. Despite super high borrowing rates set by the Federal Reserve and mass production of funny money by the Treasury, Alaska's gold, silver and oil will be exponentially more valuable. Fuck inflationary concerns, our commodities will be even more valuable. If inflation is 20% per year, our minerals and petroleum will gain double that in value. Possibly quadruple. As the Treasury floods the world with US currency, I'm of the opinion that we could see our 907 sub-surface treasure gaining value by exponential multiples. Do the math, inflation and currency devaluation will only make our shit many times more expensive and profitable.

My cup and jock-strap runneth over at this point. "We might be going to hell in a hand-basket, at least we're enjoying the ride" (Grateful Dead). Sit back, smoke a fatty, knock back some premium liquor and hork down a pile of high-grade cocaine. The future battle for scarce resources may result in Russia sneaking hyper-velocity nuclear missiles on our mines and military bases. At that point, we better learn to speak Russian. Or Chinese. I'm pretty sure we'd never know the difference. When we purchased Alaska, we merely transferred ownership from one European country, to another. Alaska natives never had a clue that their state was owned by a new (1867) super-power. A 2024 transfer back to Russia or China would likely go unnoticed. All the welfare voucher programs would be printed in another new unfathomable language and food stamps would be denominated in rubles. Or chink tiny ricey-dick Yuan. Dig me?

Chased out of Africa, fleeing Gangus Khan, resisting Chinese imperialism and escaping Russian slavery, natives are indestructible and likely 907 forever. Jews ain't got nothing on these tough little runts. Long after Alaska becomes part of another country, we'll still have at least two dozen autistic little mongoloids "banging on a bongo like a chimpanzee" and dancing like drunks in the KPD jail. And we'll still attend AFN a thousand years in the future.

I don't really care about the future of America's economy, I just have to put my net into the wind and harvest dineros. I was trained by the best, a woman we call "the ancient one." She's lectured me, that here in Alaska, after Prudhoe Bay and Red Dog, we're all resource economists and MBA's.

When you think the world is coming to an end, Alaska is raking in the chips. Turn off yer TV, quit bitching party politics and vote for strip mining, global warming and cow flatulence. Guns and butter, lead, zinc, gold, silver, oil and steaks. For the next foreseeable future, Alaska holds the winning hand: 5 bicycles.

Cheer up, smile evil, and rub yer package. Our cup is more than half full, shit, like big boobs stuffed in a tight bra, our 907 cuppeth runneth over.

Karl.