Thursday, January 31, 2013

Kaleidiscope reflections through Amphetamine crystalline structures. "You could learn a lot from a dummy." Crash Test (Finnish) Dummies.

Top of the morning gents,

Once in a while, make that once in a LONG while I'll visit my old folders and articles crowding the desktop display of this Arctic Computing Station North of 70 lat.

I found old research articles about the A-4 allele in the human genome, neurotransmitter discharge and uptake rates in pedigree Scandinavian hyperactives, and newly evolving research into gifted children.

You killers in uniform have also been kept up to date about the new doctor here in Barrow: the good Doctor Carroll's high tech medical clinic and surgery theater.

Since I ain't fucking native, I don't have to endure our village BIA shitty Indun Health Care Service's dumb ass mistakes, scummy Eskimo infections, and the nigger treatment that only natives deserve. I deserve better treatment and so do my blessed Eskimo brethren, but it ain't my duty to advise lower life forms that they don't always have to be treated like natives.

I've relentlessly railed away at the dismal medical treatment and care received by my Eskimo family, friends and colleagues. But self-respect comes from within, not without. Amen?

When I was working as the Finance Director for the city of Lead Sulfide (Galena), and here in Barrow, I frequently asked my shitty unhealthy care providers why my fellow humans seemed so thick and slow, and why gifted Vikings have so much difficulty tolerating dumber humans.

No clues, no answers, and no help from our shit ass BIA village hacks and fucks, until a physician from outside pegged me as a candidate for a medicine that would streamline and orchestrate my mad racing mind; Ritalin. An amphetamine based drug that I refrain from eating until after I post my morning newsletter and tribute to a crew of pals that deserve honorable mention 7 fucking days of the week. You lot, public safety and public service angels in uniform and undercover.

I was never very good at keeping friends, save you boys that've stayed the course for over 20 years and still enjoy my lunatic and rapid cycling language. Fuck all.

I've met numerous geniuses in my time, but vastly more dumb shits and illiterates. Except the few truly brilliant minds that find my thousands of pages of clever quips and bastardly use of human communications; this daily list of recipients. These larger brains and superior deductive talents are concealed within bodies I've enigmatically titled 'Pro from Dover', 'Columbo', 'Arctic Sore Throat', and a few criminal blue-eyed Jews I blind carbon copy (BCC) back home in Finland and Russia.

My criminal pals on Nordic soil; Paul Quinn, Dwayne Weleschuck, and Timo Aristo are also included, but aren't cops: they're too brilliant. They're MBA motherfuckers that find my unintelligibly creative outbursts amusing, but embarrassing when humans cursed with far too much estrogen surround us. Hence the rule that 'no girls allowed' creates a safe haven for us extra-testicular lads to share, laugh, and cry. So much of this intelligence community's banter is inappropriate for dykes, bitches, and wives.

Don't believe me? Share these confidential communications with your wives and see how smart they think we are. They won't and may likely smash yer onions, clip yer nads and modem cables in yer sleep. I ain’t fucking kidding, I’m deathly afraid of all yer wives: nut cutters. They may find me handsome, but they’ll never find me amusing.

As I near the bottom of my fifth monthly neurotransmitter regulator prescription that modifies me sufficiently to live amongst browner brains, I thought I’d share some of the risks and benefits this amphetamine medication has provided me.

1) I’ve cut my daily felonies down to zero.
2) My need for an evening nightcap has dwindled to minimal.
3) My chronic intake of Willie Nelson alfalfa pine flowers is zip.
4) Me Bessie Ootoyuk claims I’m much less lunatic.

Weird huh?

Don’t listen to any dyke bitch pear shaped lesbo cunts employed in Alaska’s Pubic School System: Ritalin is tremendously effective for obnoxiously blond kids. I won’t speculate if this medicine works with FAS/FAE Eskimo retards, you’ll have to experiment on yer own ugly children and dumber wives yourself. Hooah!

Like all Finns, I like my coffee strong, sweet, and white: attributes that best describe Norsemen. I also enjoy a decent smoke and strong bourbon every evening at around half five (5:30pm). This top fuel drag racing antidote allows me relax and go to sleep instead of kicking the sheets and bugging living hell outa me Bunnik.

Here’s the kicker: a stimulant drug has eliminated any need for my favorite chemical vices and despicable behavioral hobby craft.

We all need to find our own course in life, exactly as Roger Waters penned 34 years ago. “Picking around on a piece of ground in your hometown, waiting for someone or something to show you the way.” (P. Floyd 1971)

Sometimes it’s your own genius that’ll upset your colleagues, thus causing great resentment and resistance because you've all been employed in industries rife with stupid shits. The only difference is that I have all of you to thank for relating to my dilemma cuz I’ve walked in all of your footsteps.

I recall a famous quote the best describes you lot. "Many great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." (A. Einstein)

Most of all, I owe you all heartfelt thanks for listening.



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