Tuesday, June 30, 2009

"I don't got no worms! I'm drinking for two!" Pregnant and wasted and she's in jail right next to me.

Top of the morning gents,

Did I ever tell you boys that I fucking hate cops?

Despite working with you all, them fuckers always ruin a good thing.

I'm pretty competent at logistical illumination, botany genetics and growing a dern good strain of Cully bud. You know, the ghost bud that's strong enough to kill small children.

"Careful dude, it'll hurt ye, cousin hack-hack dude." (George, Cully, Marto or Denz).

I've also got way high degrees in cooking very, very quick chop-chop. My swimming references to our Hitler Youth in Snohomish County, Washington were synonymous with cooked brain cells soaked in speed. Or bubble gum cocaine. Take yer pick Scooter.

Which is what I always figured I'd get popped for: growing weed, choko cocaine Edmondo or homemade stovetop brand amphetamines. Bun always pegged me getting busted for dumping ak-aks on gooks, slopes and dinks with felonies.

Nup. Recently, I got a visit from the North Slope bacon bits and handed a search warrant for my computer thus fucking nicked me for cyber crimes.

Can you believe this shit? Cyber crimes! NOT dirty guns, cat piss meth and hot stadium lamps nor the hunnert varietal cuttings of SUPER friendly marijuana.

Here in Barrow I live in an upside down anti-clockwise world, that's fer sure. Fuck all. I piss off a few nigerian ice tards by draining their accounts, and a cop takes the computer in the living room. Fuck!

Here's the weirdest part. Dude man cop grabs the computer, shakes my hand and books. No drug dog, no search of my back rooms. No comments about the ion and ozone machines, industrial air handler, nor the small forest of apple and orange trees bun got crowding the fucking living room.

Dudes, I'm truly stunned and amazed. And my front yard is covered with a nice layer of potting soil that will make a drug dog shit green loafs and flip lesbian.

Don't get me wrong, I totally sterilized the hacienda. I also dumped all vulnerable cabbage dineros leaving just my Wells Fargo checking account with minimal bucks in it. Leftover unenjoyment shecklage.

I long ago got rid of my junk and bootleg guns but I forgot to toss the crystallized frosty old coffee makers under the sink. No shit, instead of Mr. Coffee brand coffee makers, we ought to call 'em Mr. Bathtub Crank Makers.

Hoohoo I'm funny. GCI been very very good to me.

So here I am chatting with you all with a antique system I cobbled together from a machine I used to manage water, lights, fans, ozone/ion machines and the Van/EE Norsk air handlers for two grow rooms: one 18/6 and one 12/12.

Imagine typing on a damp skunk soaked and rusty computer. Just using this grow room regulator computer system makes me feel baked dudes. If you read my shit too fast you might freeze up yer machine.

Ya see, plants listen to you through your light system. With 18 hours of light and 6 hours of dark ye grow stemmage and leafage. With 12 hours of light and 12 hours of dark ye grow blooms, blossoms and flowers. For you AK retards, buds.

Aside from the murders of our most feared great-fathers, imagine the felonies we've committed. Not just this year, but over our lifetimes.
Fuck! So much damage, so little time.

Must've been before the stroke. Or Kotzebue. Or prison. Those parts I remember. Just google our names, shit yer pants. I won't think or even remember some of the shit that sent ya'll to jail or hospital.

When bounty hunters, Troopers or old age, arrives you likely won't hear the bullet that has your name written all over it.

You boys be good, crime pays. So does cop werk.

Rumplestiltzskin Nigloo-Me


Washinton and Alaska drug users hospitalized after exposure to deworming medication in cocaine, crack.

By Lindsay Toler Seattle Times staff reporter

At least three local drug users were hospitalized this week with life-threatening illnesses after they were exposed to an animal-deworming medication used to dilute cocaine and crack.

One user required extensive surgery and another racked up more than $100,000 in medical bills, according to Public Health — Seattle & King County.

The department Thursday issued an alert aimed at drug-treatment facilities and users to warn about risks associated with the animal drug, called levamisole, which can wipe out white blood cells in humans.

Levamisole is an odorless, tasteless white powder that closely resembles cocaine. "You can't tell if the cocaine or crack is contaminated with levamisole by looking at it," said David Fleming, director of the public-health department. "Don't take a chance and risk your life."

Cocaine users who have consumed levamisole might exhibit serious health symptoms, such as high fever, chills, swollen glands and painful sores on the mouth and anus.

"The contaminant is creating an illness" that resembles rapidly progressive infections, said Bob Wood, AIDS-control officer with Public Health. "But this is not a condition that needs to result in death."

Users exhibiting symptoms should seek treatment at a hospital immediately, he said.

Medical staff at several local drug-treatment facilities said Thursday they had not yet heard about any levamisole cases but were no more concerned than they were about cocaine and crack use in general.

Over the past two years, similar cases have been reported in New Mexico, Pennsylvania and Great Britain, Wood said. The provinces of British Columbia and Alberta in Canada have seen nearly 40 cases — including one death — in the past few months, according to Ottawa Public Health.

Experts believe the levamisole is added in cocaine-producing countries, such as Colombia.

"I have no idea why they're adding it," said Wood, who also said the Drug Enforcement Administration has reported its use in drug-cutting over the past three or four years.

Properties of the drug have been "obscurely reported" in medical literature, Wood said, and its devastating effect on human white blood cells was only discovered last fall.

Experts are unsure why some cocaine and crack users exhibit extreme illness while others don't.

Nearly 200 people died from cocaine-related causes in King County in 2006 and 2007, according to Public Health's most current statistics.

"It's a good time to remind people that cocaine is a dangerous drug," said Wood. "Now, it's dangerous for another reason."

For more information, call the Alcohol and Drug Help Line at 206-722-3700.

Lindsay Toler: 206-464-2463 or ltoler@seattletimes.com

Copyright © 2009 The Seattle Times Company



Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home