Wednesday, March 25, 2009

You won't die in vain. Rest of us will see to that. God I need a smoke.

Top of the morning gents,

I'm stunned and amazed.

On an anti-tobacco poster at my village clinic they declared nicotine to be THE gateway drug that leads to better drugs like "weed, whites and wine" (Little Feat). What the fuck over?

Fuck it. I think I'll have another smoke. I been blaming Nebraska No-High and North Dakota Ditch Weed as the primary gateway cause of my extensive resume poisonous. And tasty.

Nup. It's that delicious brown rag tobacco that led us off the beaten path here to abuse Alaskan drugs neegroid and mexican. My bong is spic and span, um, pardon that racist anti-latino expression. I smoked all my resin, now I'm doing the Edmonds Boogie: smokin' male pods dudes.

Fuck dudes, I sure miss my cigarettes. Could use a fat grawler too. Yowza.

All my ranting and raving to get my wife to quit smoking busted my balls and scarred my cranium. To make matters worse I initiated stiff smoking policies that pissed off EVERYBODY. Especially native cunt smokers like Skeeter Jepson. That elephant uchuk scowled at me with much-ness uterus. Arlene Zagars and Lulu huffed and puffed blowing foamy bubbles out both sides of their taint and Ramona and Jack almost stormed out the party.

Oh, and Trudy just kept shooting ping pong balls at me.

I repeat: Tobacco junkies are such cunts. Shirley O'Niel coughed and sputtered, pissed and moaned, then looked at me angry and stepped out. In gale force windchills forty frozen balls below groin-warmth she dutifully held her wig tight and choked down a soggy hot box Marb.

Fuck you bitch, don't smoke anywhere near my goddamned kids: they're aborigines and monkey nugger see, monkey nugger do.

As heretofore indicated, I rather enjoy ragging on primitive humans engaging in the delicious abuse of tobacco and alcohol. It's a grave new world fer tall alcoholics like me, short ones like you too.

Look at me: addicted niggers are basically addicted to their own selfishness. The first step to sobriety is the realization that the universe don't revolve around my fucking vagina.

Figure that? Like my pie hole, I gotta quit shoving everything I see past my cervix.

Adiiga, whoring and snoring, merry welfare and happy foodstamps, our children will behave exactly like us. God save their poor souls. Alas. We will all expire in the identical manner as our parents.

Sgt. Waller will die in his boots ducking bullets, thrashing his monkey children or stressing Noatak moronisms in some shit ass village airport. Squish may likely die laughing underneath a very large woman. Or truck.

Heart attacks are sweet. And really fucking quick. One reader code named Kudra already has a brain shrunken to half his youth evolving from 3 pounds towards a 1 pound universe.

Our dude Agent Octuck will croak right beside Marto International without a liver nor children. Just down the hall from me, you'll find a string of dying cops all hooked up to an airplane sized blood scrubber.

Wake up fucks: boozing, smoking and scrawging sick pussy is not an old man's vice. Us old dudes will invariably be busy tending after our native wives running 'round collecting rotting pieces and foul smelling parts along the forgetful roadway to Dementiaville.

I'll deteriorate onward losing my best parts and pieces whilst blind and pissing out of a shredded stump of truncated meat. Yup. Sugar in the blood slices and dices better'n a Ronco Gook Saw and if you lift the veil of Reaper Dude you'll see a syringe filled with insulin and air bubbles.

Despite eating the blandest of grubbage and walking my fucking dick off, my A1C has crept back above 7, so fuck it: I'm marching back to the Rec Center to throw chronic weights around cuz growing old ain't fer pussies.

Me and my dad, and my best bro Tokyo will be missing all you darker white people way upstairs in Valhalla. Heaven is the last bastion of ethnocentrism fer tall alcoholics. Mine don't even allow little sober people let alone monkey fuckers with badges.

God bless us all. Our tombstones will detail specific organ failure with inevitable outcomes: Death. Fucking life is terminal and 'nobody gets outa here alive' (J. Morrison-Doors).

Reviewing all our blessed padres, most you bastards will turn blue and start cooling right after third watch. Pick yer poison then pick which organ. Pancreas, liver, heart or digestion: all looking grim at present.

Our lung opacity due to tars and resins ain't funny. Just wait until some punk ass niff scrapes my gob hole and smokes that sludge. Dead. Fucking dead. Char bong resin that kills brain cells, small children and smelly minority white folks in the bush.

Yer wives will seem unaffected. Old native bitches can talk fer fucking hours about all their dead husbands and related rapists of OUR kids. Yada Yada ahkaa bitch. Child porno is comedy fer yer ugly nugger wives at the Kotzebue Senior Center.

Oh sure. We think we're special and think we'll die a really old corpse but looking fine with our drink on, our smoke on and our dick hard. Try again dildo.

They no longer make porno movies starring fat fucks and wheeze bags that've shit out children. That was back in the 70's when skinny people only dreamed of horning on yard wide vulva and gumby sized grandma biscuits and gravy.

I can't force y'all to live healthier and quit the same vices I fucking chow daily but those of us that still drink, smoke, chew, toke and stress about stupid Alaskan family rape issues know my words are iron.

I can't walk past a tavern or bar in Nome, Fairbanks nor Moscow. I also can't walk past a cannibis coffee shop in downtown Helsinki nor Tallin. So I won't tell any of you blessed coppers and soldiers to cease smoking fine, drinking a'plenty nor breaking all the fine china bones inside FAS retard pre-adolescent pussy.

I'm just commenting with great speculation how we will all pass on.

I might be wrong. But I doubt it.

Man up niggers. Higbitch died years ago and is merely haunting us healthy mortals trying in vain to get our attention and not appear so inneffectual. Nush will croak on top of a cross-eyed native woman he's related to and Eunice will survive us all publishing insulting memoirs of all us fuck ass stinky brown bitch humpers disdainful. Eunice was polite when he was younger. Guess again, now his adult prose are powerfully strident and embarrassingly honest. His stories and tales should rightfully paint us all as a bunch of retarded goat fuckers.

I'm gonna roll up a fatty: coffee and bong hits dudes while I prep a funeral for yer author on drugs and all his cop buddies. Knowing we will die and soon makes us the luckiest fuckers alive. Ye can't fix stupid and I wouldn't trade you graying gunslingers for the world.

Smoke 'em if ye got 'em. The world will be far less beautiful without you graying gunslingers in it.

Have a drink on me.



Secondhand smoke may double likelihood of depression

By Marilyn Elias, USA TODAY

Secondhand smoke not only can irritate your lungs, it also apparently can blacken your mood as well, a large study reports today.

Non-smokers exposed to cigarette smoke at home or work are more than twice as likely as those not exposed to have major depression, according to a report at the American Psychosomatic Society meeting in Chicago.

It's believed to be the first U.S. study tying secondhand smoke to depression; another in Japan came up with a similar conclusion.

Unlike the Japanese research, this study confirmed exposure to smoke by measuring cotinine — a chemical that occurs in blood after breathing in smoke. There were cotinine levels for more than 3,000 non-smoking adults in a federal health study. An additional 92,000 non-smokers only reported if they lived with or worked around smokers. Everyone also filled out questionnaires on symptoms of depression.

Whether secondhand smoke was verified by the blood, those exposed to smoke were far more likely to have symptoms of serious depression, says study leader Frank Bandiera, a public health researcher at the University of Miami School of Medicine. Even working where smoking was allowed in public places more than doubled the risk of depression, he says.

There's strong evidence that smokers have higher rates of depression than non-smokers, but studies conflict on whether the smoking came first or vice versa, Bandiera says. Animal and human studies do show that smokers have more dopamine in their brains, which he says has been tied to anxiety and depression. So secondhand smoke might have the same effect on non-smokers.

Secondhand smoke also has been found to raise the risk for heart disease and lung cancer. Another new study not reported at the meeting found that inhaling other people's cigarette smoke could increase the risk of memory problems and dementia after age 50, say researchers at the University of Cambridge. Their research was published last month in the British Medical Journal.

BETTER LIFE: Secondhand smoke may increase risk of cognitive impairment 44%

About 4 out of 10 U.S. adults are covered by state or local laws against smoking in bars, restaurants and workplaces; 7 out of 10 are protected in at least one of these arenas, says Patrick Reynolds, president of the Foundation for a Smokefree America, an advocacy group.

Concern about health effects is accelerating, he adds. "There's been a tidal wave of state laws against smoking in bars and restaurants just in the last six years." Twenty-four states don't allow such smoking; 22 have passed their laws since 2003, he says.


Smokers' Homes More Likely to House Hungry Kids

By Ed Edelson HealthDay Reporter

(HealthDay News) -- Children who live with adult smokers are more likely to be underfed and undernourished, a new study finds.

The same is true for adult members of smoking households, but children feel the impact the most, said study author Dr. Michael Weitzman, chairman of pediatrics at New York University School of Medicine.

"We know that there are long-term consequences of food insecurity for children. They are more likely to do poorly in school, to have iron deficiency and anemia, and to have behavioral and social problems," Weitzman said.

"Food insecurity" is a concept that was developed by the U.S. Department of Agriculture in the 1990s to study malnutrition in developed countries such as the United States. "It is a standardized scale measuring how many times a household cannot give children the food they want, how many meals they skip, how often they go to bed hungry," Weitzman said.

Looking at data on 8,817 households gathered in national surveys by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Weitzman and his colleagues found that 15 percent of adults and 11 percent of children reported food insecurity within the past year, with 6 percent of adults and 1 percent of children experiencing severe food insecurity. This meant they went to bed hungry, because there wasn't enough food in the house.

The study found that 23 percent of households with children had at least one smoker, with the incidence higher -- 32 percent -- in low-income households. In those households with a smoker, 17 percent of children were food insecure, compared to 8.7 percent of those children in nonsmoking households. Severe food insecurity was reported for 3.2 percent of children in smoking households, compared to 0.9 percent of those living in households with no smokers.

Because families with at least one smoker spend an estimated 2 percent to 20 percent of their income on tobacco, it's quite likely that smokers' habits drain the money needed to provide adequate food, according to background information with the study.

Parents feel the food pinch themselves, Weitzman said. "They cut back on feeding themselves before they cut back on the children's food," he said. "And parents tend to feed the youngest children better."

The findings were published in the November issue of theArchives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine.

The problem is likely to grow worse, given the current condition of the economy, Weitzman said. "If the economic downturn persists, both food insecurity and adults smoking are likely to increase," he said, because smoking "is one of the hardest addictions to give up."

One sure way to reduce smoking -- raising the taxes on cigarettes -- has its own dangers, because it's likely to cut even more into the family food budget, Weitzman said.

Two other strategies should be considered, said John F. Banzhaf III, executive director and chief counsel of Action on Smoking and Health, a Washington, D.C.-based advocacy organization.

"The first would be to persuade or even require physicians to report, as the law already requires in suspected child abuse, instances where parents smoke at home in the presence of children, especially children who already have asthma, sinusitis or other conditions which make them especially sensitive and susceptible," Banzhaf said.

A more aggressive tactic would be to take steps against doctors who do not warn people about the dangers of smoking or provide effective smoking cessation treatment, he said. "One journal article has even gone so far as to suggest that the best, and perhaps the only, way to motivate most of them would be to begin bringing malpractice actions where medical problems results," he added.


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