Wednesday, November 26, 2008

From a distance, y'all look really fucking good. Plus, I can't smell ye.

Top of the morning gents,

I sure miss fucking with you guys. This is as good as it gets eh bart?

Male bonding is for faggots, strong drink and smoke is fer sick men with more gonad fluids than brains.

Reading preposterous prose from yer buddy. Dummer fuck is me. Even Donald Heupel and Skeeter called me dummy.

I like my nicknames. I look yours more.

Fuck ya'll, I'm so far out of reach even you sub arctic barley corn fuckers won't fly by night and drink with me some mean town blues. God loves ye. I'm fucking trying. Barrow is merely the furthest a moron can flee from smart people and not have to use toilet paper after my Eskimo kisses.

My big nose is the second best seat in the house, yet rubbing another broad's nose make sense. That is, if any of ya'll ever smelled rotting Inupiaq gob. I once breathed in Clifford Melton's evaporating saliva and carry discharge, tasted like rotten butt. Almost like post mortem San Francisco butt cake or Hammer Time frozen porch Olanna tossed salad.

My grotesque gallows humor is all yer fucking fault. Looking at all you killers I'm the one that's best frozen in time north of 70 lat.

From afar I don't have to worry if ye survive car accidents, shootouts or drinking fights. Nicer that way. You boys are fucking high risk and bad bets.

Hey. Even Erlich made fun of me for hooking up with a native. Him and David Craig right then and there henceforth started calling me "Squaw Boy."

Gotta like witty dickheads like that.

I chided Blackbird with a slick swap out for the term "nigger lover" with slang from the Killing Fields of the Pacific Northwest. Neegrophiliac: based on our aboriginal urges to pork dead bitches.

I'm in agreement with Billy Howarth, get in a quicky before she gets cold. Dumb Billy shredded that ass too. Whilst Darlene Snyder or your nugger wife chops up the dead cunt's face with scissors: now that visual image that'll help ye git a nut.

Wake up shit heads, We'll even fuck frozen ones, as long as they're fine. Recalling that whole Olanna/Howarth dead bitch rape sesh, did that bitch have an open coffin or did they just use Fort Yukon coffins: garbage bags and honey buckets?

Poor shit. May she rest in pieces. Unwanted children lead unwanted lives. Just like y'all. We raised shitty kids that even us bastards can't stand the company of. I treat my goats better'n me fucking reservation childrens. Probably explains why this crew of graying gunslingers got so many stray litter bastards all over hell and back. Hatch 'em and book.

Look at us. We all got dirty bastard offspring shits living the good life: ghetto mod.

If we were more broadminded and enlightened about pussy, there'd be far fewer fucking offspring of ours wondering why they got such big dicks and failing pancreas. Poor kids, nothing but a lifetime ahead filled with busted knuckles, bad hearing and million of his own half-European offspring.

Every time ye cum a load and drive it home, yer gramps and great gramps are grinnin' shitty and tuggin' on evil donkey meat. They went through all the same child support issues as all of us.

Just they kilt the cunt instead.

Happy Holidays gents. Bigger noses and more boners. Nice thought eh bart?

You can include yer wives next year.

Karl.

PS. Words from my brother in-law. "The best thing about rain in San Francisco: no seagulls and no niggers" (Robert Tikik).

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