I'm such a fucking idiot. At this moment, I shant beg to differ.

Top of the morning gents,

I am such a dummy. Being a FIRM believer in fuel
additives like HEET, GUM-OUT, STP etc, I assumed my
car, sno-go, kahmoon, and wheeler also had a Viking's
appetite for John Barley Corn (ethanol, liquor). Ain't
happening fuckheads.

Laugh it up faggots, but it turns out that ethanol has
a LOT of water content that is impossible to remove
and rapidly absorbs atmospheric moisture at an
alarming rate. Hence impossible to pump through
pipelines.

Like yer author on drugs (and a moron) I too thought
that since I had a thirst for Jim Beam so great it
cast its own shadow, my Chevy 350 V-8 would chow
major on booze. "I was wrong." (Ron White)

My dog is named Chevy. My wife is named Chevy too.
I'm a mud farmer. And ignorant. "Ye can't fix stupid."

Call me a dumbass, I'll believe anything. A farmer
once told me that his daughter got the clap from
riding in a farm tractor: in her swim suit. Remember,
I'm a mud-grown turd cruncher from Washington so I cut
out his pacemaker and fucked him in the hole. Ted
Bundy was a pussy.

Yup. All the booze we're gonna pump in our E85 farm
Fag-Fuel burners has to be trucked, thus fucking us
Alaskans. I was gonna sell buckets that E85 here on
the Arctic Coast for Eskimos to drink.

Peace out oochuk boys.

Fuck that sounded dumb. I sure ain't coon enough for
ghetto-nupiaq.

I clipped this Alaskan related article cuz I think I
just got my shit straightened out by a fucking genius.
A black genius too.

The best cure for racism and sexism is excellence.

Karlukpuq Nigluq

---

The great corn and ethanol hoax
By WALTER E. WILLIAMS

One of the many mandates of the Energy Policy Act of
2005 calls for oil companies to increase the amount of
ethanol mixed with gasoline.

President Bush said, during his 2006 State of the
Union address, "America is addicted to oil, which is
often imported from unstable parts of the world."

Let's look at some of the "wonders" of ethanol as a
replacement for gasoline.

Ethanol contains water that distillation cannot
remove. As such, it can cause major damage to
automobile engines not specifically designed to burn
ethanol. The water content of ethanol also risks
pipeline corrosion and thus must be shipped by truck,
rail car or barge. These shipping methods are far more
expensive than pipelines.

Ethanol is 20 to 30 percent less efficient than
gasoline, making it more expensive per highway mile.
It takes 450 pounds of corn to produce . . .

(cont'd from front page) the ethanol to fill one SUV
tank. That's enough corn to feed one person for a
year.

Plus, it takes more than one gallon of fossil fuel —
oil and natural gas — to produce one gallon of
ethanol. After all, corn must be grown, fertilized,
harvested and trucked to ethanol producers — all of
which are fuel-using activities.

And, it takes 1,700 gallons of water to produce one
gallon of ethanol. On top of all this, if our total
annual corn output were put to ethanol production, it
would reduce gasoline consumption by 10 or 12 percent.

Ethanol is so costly that it wouldn't make it in a
free market. That's why Congress has enacted major
ethanol subsidies, about $1.05 to $1.38 a gallon,
which is no less than a tax on consumers. In fact,
there's a double tax — one in the form of ethanol
subsidies and another in the form of handouts to corn
farmers to the tune of $9.5 billion in 2005 alone.

There's something else wrong with this picture. If
Congress and President Bush say we need less reliance
on oil and greater use of renewable fuels, then why
would Congress impose a stiff tariff, 54 cents a
gallon, on ethanol from Brazil? Brazilian ethanol, by
the way, is produced from sugar cane and is far more
energy efficient, cleaner and cheaper to produce.

Ethanol production has driven up the prices of
corn-fed livestock, such as beef, chicken and dairy
products, and products made from corn, such as
cereals. As a result of higher demand for corn, other
grain prices, such as soybean and wheat, have risen
dramatically.

The fact that the U.S. is the world's largest grain
producer and exporter means that the ethanol-induced
higher grain prices will have a worldwide impact on
food prices.

It's easy to understand how the public, looking for
cheaper gasoline, can be taken in by the call for
increased ethanol usage. But politicians, corn farmers
and ethanol producers know they are running a cruel
hoax on the American consumer. They are in it for the
money.

The top leader in the ethanol hoax is Archer Daniels
Midland (ADM), the country's largest producer of
ethanol. Ethanol producers and the farm lobby have
pressured farm state congressmen into believing that
it would be political suicide if they didn't support
subsidized ethanol production. That's the stick.
Campaign contributions play the role of the carrot.

The ethanol hoax is a good example of a problem
economists refer to as narrow, well-defined benefits
versus widely dispersed costs. It pays the ethanol
lobby to organize and collect money to grease the
palms of politicians willing to do their bidding
because there's a large benefit for them — higher
wages and profits.

The millions of gasoline consumers, who fund the
benefits through higher fuel and food prices, as well
as taxes, are relatively uninformed and have little
clout.

After all, who do you think a politician will invite
into his congressional or White House office to have a
heart-to-heart — you or an Archer Daniels Midlands
executive?

*Walter E. Williams is a professor at George Mason
University at Fairfax, Va. His column is distributed
by Creators Syndicate Inc., 5777 W. Century Blvd.,
Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045; (310) 337-7003.