Sunday, November 04, 2007

Muslims got the right idea. They immediately execute gimps, perverts and sick puppies. Just like me. Happy All Hallows Eve.

Top of the morning gents,

Fuck my back is killing me.

For each and every action, there's an equal and
opposite reaction and I been up to my dick in red shit
butchery. All for really old fucking people I never
met, nor will never know. As the Chief commented,
"sounds like a lot of hard work" and I'm likely the
only chump ass that visits the Chiropractor twice
monthly.

Like I said before, I work way too hard and there
ain't no valhalla fer Finns, just awakening to the
same chores: forever. You fat fucks won't understand.
Cop work is fer girls. Bitchwerk unfit for criminally
impaired gonadular structures dangling from hunters
nor gatherers. Besides, KPD/AST/ABADE would never
hired no rapists nor molesters.

My dick.

Ass kicking whale harvest this Fall with a bonus stack
of walrus that hauled out onto our beach. And got shot
to piss. I been cutting foul slop for a fucking
fortnight thrice, washing bloody butt munchies and
freezing non-tunnik nickipaq. My tarpal cunnel flares
worse than wire through my course scrotum canvas, but
clears up in short order. After I get bloody, messy
and hard.

Instead of shipping buttloads of the stinkiest meats
and blubs I ever fucked and shucked, I oughta stuff
all our deceased yet still snuggly elders: like dolls.
Instead of burying our cultural treasures we should
stuff 'em. No shit, we could dehydrate my gramps,
pack him with styrofoam, shellac his bottom and penis,
then market this rad wrinkled punching bag as a cuddly
scarred teddy bear in the berserk characature of short
ass runts and dumb old river rats.

I'll buy a shitload for you guys. You know, to use as
sex dolls. Get even attigignik style. I know a rapist
extraordinare when I see one and I know you swinging
dicks would tap that dehydrated granny midget ass and
gape tanned silver whiskered clam in a Kotzebue Day
Care minute. "If nobody's looking" (M. Python).

Fuck boundries on bad language, we could go one step
further. Our children could stuff and pack us, but the
little peckerheads'd run out of stuffing. Fer yer
dicks.

We can't lie to ourselves and all us miscreants have
fucked some foul sphincters and rasty rectums. Shit, I
personally know some of yer truly retarded ex-wives,
ugly bastard children and chuckle at the thought you
got drunk, hard and cracked the seal on all sorts of
aboriginal crotch pockets.

Too far?

Nup. Some of ye are cackling evil at decisions the
rest of us have made. With our dicks.

Okay, I'm only kidding. Besides NEVER monkey fucking
any gimps, natives nor senior citizens, I never layed
hands on another human, never touched a firearm nor
consumed any drugs or alcohol. Yer so fucking thick,
touch me I'm sick.

I'm just more native than all of ye, and it makes me
shit watery green piss. In the last 5 years, I fucked
and shucked more dead sea mammals than any y'all. Wake
up fucks. My Siberian Mongoloid wife says that I'm not
just white, I'm SUPER white. I'm even whiter than
Casper, pert near translucent inside dark pussy, and
glow in the dark when I'm hard.

But I can cut and pack meats like no other aboriginal
grandmother fucker, and I follow the directions and
got adult supervision: my Siberian wife.

Last mondo shipment, fer yer fucking information: we
launched a buttload to our blessed Agent Octuck's
place yonder gas-can soils. He's been delivering
native foods all over Shitbanks, with AFN visitors
from the NANA region thus triggering the holiday
season. We snagged old Cyrus and Viola Norton as they
flew from Wainwrong and Nutsack (Nuiqsut) back to the
ghetto Kikikniggruk: gnarley block pink and black.

Oh, we also pegged blocks of bowhead freeze treats to
some folks in Selawik. Who were these folks bun? Oh
yeah, Emma and Ralph Ramoth. I ain't never met 'em,
but when bunnik says to load a freight box, cab down
to Frontier (Front & Rear) and ship some blessed
shrunken Inukuns endangered species eats: I fucking do
it.

Yup, I'm bragging. All on Indun time. Eedee-Ghee.

If you fuckers weren't so niggardly (Websters: cheap,
small minded) in your earnings and education, you too
could invade shorter alien cultures, mimic their
disgusting sexual norms Alaskan: and be just like me.
Neener Neener Neener. Super Dad from Unalakleet swears
I'm more native than you are.

Laugh it up faggots. That's perty fucking gross.

With serial rapery and murder-all subchump nigerians
programmed into human DNA, I thought every man alive
would snag a stash of date rape drugs before me and
Nasruk executed some bitchin' warrants. And I snagged
a shitload. Took me years to use all that shit up
throughout the women's dorms on the UAF campus.

Safe sex? What are you talking about?

Safe sex. Now that's a joke, our generation don't know
what a condom is for besides water balloons. Besides,
I'm guilty of doping whole harems with spanish fly and
GHB alcoholic suppliments and no girls fucking died,
but their really goddamned handsome abortions sure
did. I must've dragged my dick to the clinic a hunnert
fucking times.

Like my brother Cully stated, "I fucking hate short
pussy." And in concurrence, Pim declared "how fun is
it to only get HALF yer dick wet? Besides, I only eat
my own sperm." I calculate my odds of sending and
receiving STD's were 7 out of 233.

Cereal rape fer brekky appa kye? Okay, maybe a couple
uterine pairs died. What would I tell any human with 2
black eyes? Fucking nothing, I already told 'em twice.


Where was I? Muslims got the right idea.

Since I look so much like Jesus, I never gettoo pour
diesel on angry cunts and then hork a bong hit o'
Cully bud whilst burning dark hair pie more stoney
than Dakota ditch weed or Nebraska no-high.

Alaska natives still engage in infanticide.
Suffocating baby girls under the funny guise of Sudden
Infant Death Syndrome. Oh darn, we lost the one with
no kookoo. Fuck it, if it lives, I can always nuulik
the little midget.

Looking at the mean cunts that survived rural Alaska's
super duty fecal alcohol syndrome makes this Finn wish
MORE babies with biscuits got choked off like a
pinched loaf.

I gottoo go chuke.

I can't believe Dave Craig called me a squaw boy.
Serial rapist or oochuk boi maybe, but not squaw boy.
The reason I don't date women my own age, is cuz they
look just like my grandmother. Or so I 'splained to
MickFuck Craig.

I could make all ye as sick as me, but it'd likely
kill ye. And zap the piss outa yer electricity bill.

You graying gunslingers best smoke my shit with
tombstone titular: AK Raper #1. Blending sound
pharmacy and cervical concussions into a rather nasty
crime scene and forced genetic masterpiece. Halloween
fucks me in the goat ass.

Way back when I was a child in prison, the other kids
called me Powder.

You can call me Fred Garvin.

-

PS. Alaska could learn a few lessons from the European
Union, they're outlawing fucking everything, 'cept
weed and prostitution. Muslims, like natives outlaw
alcohol but embrace honor killings on young and old
pussy.

You obviously haven't heard the news. The EU has
outlawed all chewing tobacco. You can use my dick as
an oral replacement.

I'm such fucking Euro trash in tard clothing.

---

EU fines Åland over smokeless tobacco

The European Union is imposing a fine on the
semi-autonomous Åland Islands for violating the
European Union ban on the sale of smokeless tobacco.

The European Commission decided on Tuesday to impose a
significant fine on the province.

In May of last year the Commission noted that the
practice violates EU legislation, and the total of the
fine grows with each day that Åland fails to comply.
The sum now stands at more than two million euros.

After the decision, the province was given the task of
preparing a law that bans the sale of the moist
smokeless tobacco known as snus. The aim is for a
legislative proposal to be ready when the new
provincial government takes office in November.

Sweden is the only EU country in which the sale of
smokeless tobacco is permitted; when Sweden joined the
EU, it was given special permissison to keep its snus
tradition. In spite of the ban that is in force in the
rest of the EU, sale of the product has continued on
board passenger ships registered in Åland.

Commissioner Olli Rehn says that the size and special
status of Åland was taken into account when setting
the fine. If Finland as a whole had been considered,
the fine would have been much higher.

Rehn also said that he hopes that the new Åland
government would ban the sale of smokeless tobacco as
soon as possible.

The final amount that Åland will have to pay will be
set by the European Court of Justice. It could take a
year before a decision comes.

If Åland still fails to obey the EU law, the fine is
set to increase many times over.

Violations of EU health legislation tend to incur
rather large sanctions. An aggravating circumstance in
Åland’s case is that the violation has continued for a
very long time.

Åland and Finland have an agreement according to which
Åland pays its own EU fines.

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