Ellensberg, AK or Talkeetna, WA The Valley is still the city killers' dumping ground for dead dogs and horses. Bitches too.

Top of the morning gents,

Most of ye have been all over the Valley, but have you
ever set foot in Snoqualmie? Tell the truth. Everytime
I read about corpses and animals found with gaped
asses I think of all of you.

Like I said, God may love you all, I'm fucking trying
to.

Can you account for your whereabouts for the last 31
years? If you have even a single horse pubic hair in
yer trousers: yer so busted. If you are found to have
dog hair and fibers in yer groinulars, that tells me
yer from Kivilina.

Fuck I'm funny. But I never left shot horses, dogs or
natives on the roadside, just lots of dead white
bitches. You know, the coke, liquor and weed whores we
sent down the 'bimbo trap door.'

The worst drug parasites are white trash. When Dennis
or Marto ever burnt or buried really bad smelling
people up at 7-lakes, they had to cover their tracks
like forensic scientists. If they'd been shooting
white trash bitches with pig tits and domesticated
turd cutters, we could just ditch the burlap skank
anywhere between Sedro Woolley and Sea-Tac. No shit,
quite the trend back when I was growing up: blame it
on the Green River Killer or Ted Bundy. Real Alaskans.

We are forever fortunate lay persons in the ways of
espionage. And meat humping serial killers too.

Anytime you Alaskan rotfucks got stinkers nearby with
break-up around the corner, all ye are practiced at
floating ugly barrels, then shooting and sinking them
just before they got too far down the Yukon River out
of sight near Nulato.

Better'n freezing dead junky bitches in the cunnichuk
like that Shish bitch: Mary Olanna. If she's foul
enough to git shit ass drunk and mash nasties with
Kotzebue's nurse diesel and the herp queens, she
deserves the scissors in the face, hammer in the
cooter. Come on. When you scrawg dirty dicks or stank
skank in the NANA region, the pussy is always free but
yer paying with yer life, lumps on yer uterus and
blister caked rectums. In dead bitch Olanna's case,
all three.

Weird chick: goes to Kotzebue for native sex and gets
a dose of Washington pussy. Dikes fer brekky appa kye,
then a side order of post mortem rectal wreckage from
a generational retard. "Billy Howarth is gonna fry"
(Scott Wade).

Like lynching skin wasters and molesting native
children, slaughtering food chain losers and Darwinian
meat puppets is taught to children. A process of
killing that starts at REALLY young ages.

If any of ye drive up the hill outa Shoreline, I-5
south hanging east on I-90 you'll need a piss break
and a pack of fags (smokes) in Ellensberg. Head past
Aplets and Cotlets and the Fresh Pies Diner to the
Timothy and Alfalfa FOR SALE signage. At mile 32.3
follow my dad's old International Harvest pickup
through the orchards and you'll see a giant barn
melting into the pasture.

That old Ellensberg barn holds fantastic childhood
memories.

My dad saw a classified advertisement RFB-request for
bid on a whole barn filled with decent sileage grade
bailed Timothy and alfalfa hay. A WHOLE barn filled
with the shit. Dad phoned the number, put a mystery
number to paper and mailed it out.

We got high bid, so me, Cully, Grandpa Veinman and
some dude pals of my dads hooked up trucks, trailers,
beer and food, hay hooks, ropes and rifles. A carton
of cigs I understood, but don't ask me why we needed
rifles on a hay hauling mission into Eastern
Washington.

We drove across the Cascade Mountains and onto the
continental shelf and got to Ellensberg by first piss
and in time for a fag break (smoke break you moron
fuck).

Our convoy arrived at the same time as the owners whom
explained that the bales of hay were stacked all the
way to the ceiling and that there were hundreds of
feral cats and rattle snakes fortified throughout the
entire mountain of high fiber bio-mass that would soon
be horse and goat manure.

"Fuck it. Even yer mom's shitty food will make a turd"
(M. Callahan).

When we opened the barn doors and backed up the
trailers and trucks for loading, I spotted dozens of
dead cats at our feet-some eaten, others shaped like
dehydrated snake fecus.

The smell was larger than a locomotive but what
clinched my sphyncter and sucked my balls up to my ear
lobes was all the layers upon layers of dead snakes.

Seriously nasty, and I've kissed and licked a lot of
nasty: I'm from the BIA. Been there, done that and got
the T-shirt stating I lost my heart and got HIV in
Kiana, Alaska. Dude, where's my rectum?

The reason we married natives is cuz we're ignorant of
condoms and oral hygiene and ain't no law against
raping the willing. Besides, ye can't infect already
sick puppies just like us.

Okay, back to a giant barn filled to brim with cats,
snakes and hay bales.

When we tried to stab our hay hooks into bales and
load our trucks and trailers, we received interference
from rattles coiling up all around us. Hence the
reason the men brought so many rifles.

It was determined that strafing the hay with lead shot
would sicken our livestock, so the men and older boys
just started shooting boxes and boxes of brass jacket
22 and 30 carbine rounds. Thousands and thousands of
rounds too.

Me and Cully dodged beer breath and live fire filling
trash bags with shot up cats and fucked snakes. What
fascinated me was my grandpa's Latvian Special Forces
training: his shots were ALL bulls eyes, I mean cats
eyes. One center forehead shot and we'd see leaping
cats flying 10 or 20 feet straight up in the air.
Their last scream was like a siren. "Yup, it's time to
grease the cat's butt" (Gordy Kelly).

I always figured if gramps came along on a kill mish,
I'd know which niggers he picked off: they'd leap
right out of their dumpsters screeching like drunken
Induns blasted skyward buckwheats.

Quite a visual: leaking skull trauma and screeching
cats flying a mile in the fucking air landing dead for
me and Cully's mission to fill up multiple trucks with
mangy feral shit ass cats feeding clusters of
opportunistic reptiles.

No shit. As we loaded up our convoy of trailers and
trucks with hay, we also had to haul numerous
truckloads of dead cats and snakes to the burn pile.

Goddamn long day filled with lots of good cheer and
howling shitty kitties playing chase the bullet. To
speed up our killing efficiency we simply blasted all
that slithered and crept, dragging away metric tons of
good goat food, exposing more clusters of baby snakes
and hairless sick kitties. Which in turn got a fair
share of blasted violence.

In all, me and Cully filled and hauled away over a
half dozen truckloads filled with burlap sacks of
kitties and snakes. Once we accumulated a mountain of
squirming death, we poured lantern fuel all over the
bleeding fuckers, then lit it up. Now that's a smell
reminiscent of my days in the Hitler Youth. "It's an
Edmonds kind of day."

As we rode off in the sunset, me and Cully could still
make out the huge smoke plume that smelt really
aromatic and Muslim. Gag a maggot dudes.

Me and Cully were soaked in shit, soot and beat ass
tired, so we slept the entire trip back home: with our
pockets filled with dead rattler tails and cats' paws.
"Addii, stink 'laumi inukun Finns" (grandma
Magdeline).

I got hard just telling this story. Fuck it, beer for
my horses, whiskey for my men. Tether yer bitches out
back near the latrine. We're Alaskans and it's still
legal to lynch pert near anybody. Snakes, cats, dogs,
including our darky wives.

Except yer horses. That's just wrong.

When we die and go to hell, lets get together in
Alaska. Have a drink on me.

Kevin Elsberg.


---

Valley is city killers' body dump

SIDE ROADS: Anchorage has fewer hiding places.

By ANDREW WELLNER awellner@adn.com

Dallas Massie, recently retired after many years as a
detective with the Alaska State Troopers, confessed
surprise the day his former cohorts discovered the
body of Mindy Schloss in woods not far from his home
on Knik-Goose Bay Road.

Surprise at the location, but not at the fact that
someone had found another body, an apparent murder
victim from Anchorage, in that part of the
Matanuska-Susitna Borough called the Valley.

"Where are they going to go in Anchorage? They'll
either go north or south," Massie said.

Neither was trooper Sgt. Craig Allen surprised. Along
with Sgt. Mike Burkmire, Allen supervises the
investigators at the Palmer trooper post, the job
Massie once held.

Anchorage police had scoured the Anchorage Bowl
thoroughly, Allen said. He concluded that Schloss, a
psychiatric nurse from Anchorage, would be found in
either the Valley or along the Seward Highway south of
the city.

Joshua Wade, 28, of Anchorage is charged in federal
court with illegal use of Schloss' ATM card after she
vanished Aug. 3. Nobody has been charged with her
murder.

Schloss, whose body was found Sept. 14, is just the
latest Anchorage crime victim found dead in the
Valley. Massie on Thursday recounted more than a
half-dozen cases from his nearly 25 years of police
work in which victims were left in the Valley, far
from Anchorage crime scenes.

It's pretty common for killers to seek out a spot they
know and are comfortable with, Massie said. He said
none has ever confessed to him of randomly choosing
somewhere to dispose of a body.

Two examples illustrate his point. When Judi Burgin
was bludgeoned to death in 1993 in Anchorage, she
wound up at Mile 81.5 Parks Highway, 10 miles north of
Willow. Massie said he later learned that the place
was near a favorite fishing spot of Carl Brown, the
man eventually convicted of her murder and sentenced
to 85 years in prison.

Terrell Houngues, 23, of Anchorage was shot to death
in 2005 on a Houston ATV trail and left there. Massie
pointed out that one of the men eventually convicted
of his murder, Mario Page, lived nearby before moving
to Anchorage.

Page was eventually sentenced in August to 90 years in
prison with 25 suspended for second-degree murder and
kidnapping. Two accomplices, Kira Gray and Tommie
Patterson, were convicted of first-degree murder in
June and August respectively. Both are awaiting
sentencing.

Then there's Robert Hansen, Alaska's infamous serial
killer, bakery owner and pilot nicknamed the "Butcher
Baker." He told investigators one of his favorite
spots to take his victims was the Knik River, Massie
and Allen said. Hansen received a 461-year sentence in
1984, having confessed to 17 murders and 30 rapes of
Anchorage dancers and prostitutes.

Massie could point to only one case he investigated in
which a killer took the victim in the opposite
direction. In 1991, Kyung Yoon murdered Amy Patrick
after chloroforming and kidnapping her from a Valley
home where she was housesitting.

Yoon eventually confessed to the crime but drank
poison in the back of a trooper patrol car the night
of his arrest and died the next morning, Massie said.

Yoon, Massie said, was more cold and analytical than
most killers, whose jangled nerves usually make them
sloppy.

Patrick was eventually found after an exhaustive
search in the Anchorage landfill in Eagle River. It
was almost the perfect crime, Massie said. Yoon had
only a fleeting connection to Patrick and
investigators almost overlooked him. And he chose to
leave her in a place where she would likely stay
hidden and to which he had no connection.

Allen is currently working on a case in which the
suspect took a body from the Valley toward Anchorage.
Over the summer, Frank Adams led police on a chase
from Palmer down the Glenn Highway that ended near the
south Peters Creek exit. In the vehicle's backseat,
police found the body of Adams' girlfriend, Stacey
Johnston. Adams has pleaded not guilty to murdering
Johnston and is awaiting trial.

Since Adams' arrest began with a police chase, "it's
not certain that (Anchorage) was the destination,"
Allen said.

Allen and Massie warned that they might be biased by
their careers in the Valley, but it appears to them
that Anchorage killers take their victims north more
frequently than south.

"Here, there's side roads everywhere," Massie said,
explaining why the Valley might possibly be a more
popular place for killers to hide bodies than the
Seward Highway, where side roads are few.

And Anchorage is a terrible place to hide someone. At
the start of his career bodies would turn up in South
Anchorage, Massie said. Development there largely put
an end to that. Few secluded spots are left within the
city.

Disposing of a body in the Valley might seem to a
murderer like putting distance between himself and
evidence of the crime.

"But the Valley is growing so fast it's kind of a
latent myth to think that the Valley is so remote,"
Allen said.

Both detectives agreed that this type of crime is
typified by a trait common to most criminals --
laziness.

"Criminals basically are lazy. Because if they weren't
they'd be working for a living instead of stealing or
dealing drugs," Massie said.

That laziness becomes apparent when bodies are found.
They are often left close to major roads, buried in
shallow graves or not buried at all, Massie said.

"Alaska is kind of, it seems like, a place that'd be
good to hide bodies," Massie said. "But they have a
nasty habit of popping back up."

---

Dead ponies' owner identified

Sunday, November 4, 2007 - Page updated at 02:05 PM By
Jennifer Sullivan-Seattle Times staff reporter

A Snohomish County animal-welfare group said it has
identified the owner of two ponies found shot to death
on a rural trail near Snoqualmie on Friday.

Susan Michaels, co-founder of Pasado's Safe Haven,
said four tips led them to a North Bend-area resident.

"The horse community is a small community," Michaels
said. "Veterinarians and other horse owners know each
other."

Michaels said her group's staff have talked to the
woman who owns the nearly 20-year-old ponies and that
the woman claims she "entrusted friends to euthanize
the animals properly."

Michaels said a man and a woman were seen pulling a
horse trailer into the area Wednesday night. It is
unclear when the animals were killed.

The ponies' owner told Pasado's Safe Haven staff that
the horses had been sick. Michaels said a necropsy
will determine what they were suffering from and
whether the animals died humanely.

King County Animal Control and the sheriff's office
are investigating, Michaels said. It appears each
horse died after being shot once in the head on a
riding trail near Tokul Road Southeast, Michaels said.

She didn't release the name of the owner because an
investigation is still ongoing.

It is not illegal in Washington to kill your own pet
if it's done in a humane way. But if the ponies were
killed in a way that caused them to suffer,
prosecutors could file a felony animal-cruelty charge,
which could result in up to five years in prison and a
$10,000 fine.

Pasado's Safe Haven offered a $5,000 reward for tips
leading to the owner's identification. Michaels said
they haven't determined who will receive the money