Saturday, June 24, 2006

The correct nomenclature for the Alaskan coloquialism "Gone Missing" implies 'dirt sleep' somewhere in the Killing Fields of The Pacific Northwest.

Top of the morning gents,

As with all things, this too shall pass.

Sooner than later, I won't spend my most creative
hours composing ill-witted malarkey whilst high on
good coffee, Ritalin and cigarettes. Nobody likes a
wise guy "with too much time on my hands" (Styx 1978).

For the time being, let us enjoy these blessed moments
where the day destroys the night and my best mates
have joined me here in the smoking section of this cat
box I cordoned off in your imagination.

Out here behind the 200th dirt road along the edge of
the horse pasture, we can down a keg of brew, choke
down bong rips of pine plume and let the goats and
horses lap beer foam out of our Solo brand beer cups.

The chill ain't too bad here, as long as ye stand
close to the bonfire and rotate yer beer holding hand,
or lean against one of the horses. The goats will
block yer heat from the fire if ye let 'em but the
horses stand in formation just like all my intoxicated
murderous pals.

It ain't the industrial bong hits, nor excess beer
that's causing yer hallucinations and paranoia, it's
the hard day's work in the summer heat, and the notion
that serial killers lurk in yer midst, possibly in
your household.

Just ask any farm hand, he'll update ye on the most
recent spate of corpses, the rumored suspects and the
likelihood where us kids could find bodies on our own.
Ye see, the Dead Pool Game is as old as yer author on
drugs: really fucking old.

Wait, I'm the same age as most of you graying
gunslingers, what's this 'old shit' I'm spewing?
Someone tell me to "be a jerk and go to work" (F.
Zappa).

Nup, I ain't too busy jerking off to my gun magazines,
I've spent untold mornings revising my resume,
expanding my curriculum vitae and chatting on the
phone with all sorts of Human Resource sods lacking
decent educations off campus and overseas.

No matter how much information I put on 3 sheets of
paper, I fail to communicate my brilliance. Must be
something lost in metro-translation: it is quite
possible to derive wisdom from acts of human decency
such as raping the willing and killing the dead: but
men of gaiety and women of bodily shape parity refuse
to accept the notion that a few of us are smarter than
shit with modesty second to none. I now understand why
my pops called such bastards, “fatherless sons of
bitches”: cuz they are. If yer lacking either parent:
yer also lacking a gonad.

My humor may be part of the problem: nobody in Alaska
likes a rapist unless he’s porking a whore, a
prostitute, or the bitch that slept with his or her
husband. What the fuck, I thought I was just doing
them all a favor. All acts of promiscuity are met with
brutality and all suicidal behaviors are met with a
mouthful of dirt. Like that?

That's why yer all drinking brew and gittin' stoned
with this killer whilst standing around a bonfire
sharing heat with 6 goats and 4 horses.

What we need here in Kotzebue is a known serial killer
with a penchant for deception and passive-aggressive
tendencies towards dubious culpability. Any of ye know
of such a beast? I do, and he's really drunk and
leaning against the pale horse smoking a hand-rolled
cigarette.

I’ve a fine appreciation for art. I rather enjoy a
splendid ballet or opera as long as my seat is
hardwood, my cigarettes are foreign and the Italian
lyrics erotic and completely misunderstood. I also
like reading a dossier with lots of pictures, personal
details, and sexual preferences blended with modus
operandi and wonderful choices of firearms.

What I need is a lad that is merely perceived as a
ruthless killer, yet armed with an alibi 24/7. This
man must only be viewed as a mad murderer with hands
washed of blood, a conscience free of guilt, yet happy
to admit to any and all homicides fully aware he was
nowhere nearby, yet always at the top of the usual
suspects.

One fine example of just such a lad is due in town any
minute. And just as I specified, all 6 of his crimes
are imaginative artifices, unreal falsehoods
perpetrated by stupid native bitch cunts still
believing that chronic suicide statistics don’t apply
to both of their faggot brothers.

From within that fulcrum eye of distraction, noise and
angst, I can operate freely and exercise my tradecraft
and yer imaginations without impunity. Ye see, in the
mind of a mad man, all things ugly and painful only
inhabit scenes etched out from the smoking section of
this cat box we’ve cordoned off in yer minds.

The Green River Killer likely had nothing to do with
this Alaskan Native's remains found near the Skagit
River. But I’ve a sneaking suspicion we’re all aware
of this killer’s true identity.

Modern criminologists are smart to connect drug
dealers, pimps and prostitution to a slew of missing
street workers. The Green River Killer rocked the
boat, yet deflected culpability away from guilty sons
of fucks that can swim like fish, and eliminate
problems equally efficient as Washington State's
Hitler Youth.

When a whore's cocaine and heroin habits exceed their
daily revenue from their street operations, they are
laid off. "Dirt sleep" is how illegal drug wholesalers
put it.

Cold eh? Ain't nothing, just business that's cold as
Alaska. I never put any bullets in obsolete coke
whores: I merely supplied the coke.

But, we all know or had business with a roster of
fellow killers that have. Heck, some of you graying
gunslingers even purchased weapons from them.

Fiction mates: pure shite. Like you lads, all of my
imaginary childhood friends never existed. It’s just
the times and dates that trouble me. So go fuck
yourself, where were you in 1988?

Karl.

---

Remains found in '93 identified

P-I STAFF

A skull and bones found by a group of loggers near
North Bend in 1993 have been identified as belonging
to a 34-year-old Anchorage native named Elsa Anderson,
the King County Sheriff's Office announced Thursday.

Anderson had been living in Seattle at the time of her
1988 disappearance, the Sheriff's Office said in a
news release, though much of her family remained in
Alaska.

The case was unsolved until earlier this year when the
FBI passed along to the Sheriff's Office information
from Anderson's half sister.

Detectives from the Sheriff's Violent Crimes Review
Team then reopened the case.

The Sheriff's Office in turn passed the information to
the Washington State Patrol, which collects the dental
records of missing persons and runaways.

Anderson's skull was then matched to her dental
records by a forensic dentist, according to the
Sheriff's Office.

Anderson had been arrested several times in Seattle
for prostitution.

But even though Anderson's half sister in January
contacted FBI officials in Anchorage, to warn them
that Anderson might have been a victim of Green River
Killer Gary Ridgway, the Sheriff's Office said that
was unlikely for a few reasons, including the fact
that he had never mentioned her after his arrest.

The remains were found on what was then a Weyerhaeuser
property off the North Fork Road, northwest of North
Bend.

Anderson's death is being investigated as a homicide.

---

Thursday, June 15, 2006 · Last updated 10:58 a.m. PT

Bones found near North Bend identified as former
Alaska woman

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

SEATTLE -- Bones found by loggers near North Bend in
1993 have been identified as a Seattle woman who
disappeared in 1988.

The King County sheriff's office says the Violent
Crimes Review Team reopened the case this year, and
the skull was identified through dental records.

Elsa Anderson was 34 years old at the time of her
death. She was from Alaska and her family lives in the
Anchorage area.

Her half-sister told the F-B-I she feared she was a
victim of the Green River Killer. But the sheriff's
office says Gary Ridgway never mentioned her or
admitted leaving any victims where her remains were
found. Anderson's death remains under investigation.

---

Bones identified as those of Alaska woman missing
since 1988
By Sara Jean Green

Seattle Times staff reporter

A skull and bones found by loggers in 1993 near North
Bend have been identified as those of Elsa Anderson, a
29-year-old Anchorage native who was living in Seattle
at the time of her 1988 disappearance.

Her death is being investigated as a homicide.

According to King County sheriff's Sgt. John Urquhart,
Anderson's half-sister contacted the FBI in Anchorage
in January, fearing that Anderson may have been a
victim of Green River killer Gary Ridgway. Although
Anderson had been arrested in Seattle several times
for prostitution and Ridgway was known to prey on
prostitutes, Urquhart said a connection to Ridgway is
speculative since Ridgway, who killed 48 women, never
mentioned Anderson and never admitted to leaving
victims' bodies in the area where Anderson's skeletal
remains were found.

The FBI in Anchorage forwarded information to the King
County Sheriff's Office and detectives from the
sheriff's Violent Crimes Review Team reopened the
case, Urquhart said. The detectives collected dental
records from Alaska that were used by a forensic
dentist to positively identify Anderson's remains, he
said.

Loggers found Anderson's skeletal remains in June 1993
on what was then Weyerhaeuser property off North Fork
Road, northwest of North Bend, Urquhart said.


Copyright © 2006 The Seattle Times Company

---

PUBLIC SAFETY
Skull and bones found near North Bend in 1993
identified

ASSOCIATED PRESS

SEATTLE -- Human remains discovered near North Bend in
1993 have been identified as belonging to Elsa
Anderson, 34, a native of Anchorage who had been
living in the Seattle at the time of her disappearance
in 1988.
Anderson’s death is being investigated as a homicide,
the King County Sheriff’s Office said Thursday. In
Seattle, Anderson had been arrested several times for
prostitution.

But the sheriff’s office said it was unlikely that
Anderson was a victim of Green River killer Gary
Ridgway and Ridgway never mentioned Anderson after his
arrest.

The case was unsolved until this year when the FBI
passed along information from Anderson’s half sister
in January to the sheriff’s office. Detectives from
the Sheriff’s Violent Crimes Review Team then reopened
the case.

In turn, the sheriff’s office passed the information
to the Washington State Patrol, which collects the
dental records of missing persons and runaways.
Anderson’s skull was then matched to her dental
records by a forensic dentist, the sheriff’s office
said.

Anderson’s half sister contacted FBI officials in
Anchorage and warned them that Anderson might have
been a victim of Ridgway.

The woman’s skull and bones were found by loggers on
what was then a Weyerhaeuser property northwest of
North Bend.

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