Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Alaska North Slope Heavy Crude: $70 per barrel and soaring with $4.00 a gallon gas in the forecast.

Top of the morning gents,

And now a word from our sponsor.

---

From: "James Mason"
Subject: opportunity to get rich
To: "Karl F. Ewing"
Date: Tue, 04 Apr 2006 11:38:56 -0800

Karl,

A number of times in my life I've seen the opportunity
to get rich but was too lazy or wanted to spend my
money on something simple and pedestrian.

Now I can see that speculating on options on oil
futures is the way to go. The price is only going to
go up.

I heard T-Bone Pickens on the radio and he said in the
next year the price of oil could be $150 a barrel...

James Mason

---

Hooah! It's rare, but I truly enjoy emails from
smarter chaps. Needless to say, I'm a pale last place
in comparison to our dude at the News Bureau.

Alas, he's discovered the reverse correlation between
extraordinary IQ, and the number of minority pals you
can't keep. Ain't nothing more irritating to an
ignorant minority than another arrogant smart white
fuck.

The poor lad is forever cursed with good eyesight, big
fucking brain and way too much gray matter devoted to
his language centers. In the land of the blind, deaf
and dumb shits, the one eyed man is king.

I, on the other hand, masticate and masturbate
better'n any foul mouthed left handed adopted retard,
fresh from the rez. Which is what the capital center
of Alaska is quickly becoming.

We got negroes from all over the world here: all
fighting valiantly for pimp drug turf and gang whore
recruitment. Yet like real Alaskan humans, they too
shit bricks at the gas pump, even if they're spending
your tax dollars.

For me to be a real drug dealer I'll have to have my
nostrils flared, my piss colored hair kinked and
darkied, shoe polish my bottom and penis and go on
Pacific Islander or Gook/Dink/Slope Welfare: meth,
heroin and slant eye pussy dealing.

Anchoragua is Alaska's Sodomy and Gimme Mo' Gonorhea
with all kinds of darker skinned subhumans walking the
sidewalks of Little Galena slinging rocks, bindles,
glass pipes and truly stinky native and gook pussy.

I'm perfectly at home on the res, in the vil or
pointing a gun I never touched out the window at
fleeing little darky runt fucks.

I also like seeing Anchoragua's bitch-cunt commuting
valley motorists weeping at the gas pump. Misery
enjoys company and I'm surrounded a whole city filled
with bitchy shits: just like me.

Bun bought Sara a brand new Chevy Tracker, which is a
2.5-liter V-6 twin cam fuel injected power plant,
automatic, AC and 4-wheel drive. Nice midsize SUV.

As I was gassing up this morning (super unleaded) I
crapped my fucking pants to see $3.29 per gallon.

Goddamn!

Since bun's retirement and our arrival here in Los
Anchorage for the holidays, the price of gas has pert
near doubled.

Wake up fucks! From $1.79 to the present price of
$3.29 per gallon is a real rectum shredder...and you
boys told me so.

Energy is the new cocaine and lingerie, albeit with
even higher profit margins, oligopolistic price
controls, runaway worldwide demand and its inherent
inflation affecting all other sectors of our economy.

Energy is a variable cost component in any business
(or household's) cost structure: the more lights, heat
or power tools you fire up, the higher the energy
inputs into our equation of cost containment and
revenue enhancement.

Yesterday, we beat our all time highest price for NS
crude roaring past 70 bones a barrel with $100-$150 a
barrel by next Christmas. This figure asserted by T.
Boone Pickens and Wall Street Journal.

To make matters worse, rural energy prices roughly
cost 2.5 times what I'm paying here in Anchoragua. So
do the math maggots, you'll be paying $10 a gallon for
either heating oil or gasoline.

Stings don't it?

Now estimate the price shock that will resonate
throughout all your other consumer goods, rents and
transpo expenditures. Yup, yer ass oughta relax and
git ready fer some serious gape action.

Put this way, if I shove both my hands up yer ass, and
I can't clap, yer still tight. But any future over the
barrel assfucking will be analogous to tossing a
wiener down the hallway.

If I yell yer name near the seat of your pants after
you purchase a month's worth of heating oil, I'll hear
a fucking echo for sure.

We've been all over this topic like white on rice,
black on assfault, and brown on Indun bucket turds
under the breakfast table. When I was in Finland, gas
was already taxed up to $2.00 a liter-$8.00 a gallon.

Scandinavian Jews HATE cars and forbid parking
downtown in Oslo, Helsinki and Stockholm mirroring
London's banning of private motorcars from entering
any part of downtown London: only lorries, hired cars,
cabbies and double decker busses. This includes
Piccadilly Square where us hooligans pub crawl, pint
chug and brawl for a whiff of some bum-buggery and
Celtic fanny farts (cunt burps).

Capital markets and energy markets have never been any
thing less than inbred sisters in mutual fuck off
combat competing for your pound of flesh: your shit
stained wanker that tastes just like your sister's
ass.

No shit, it's either my illegal drug purchases that
rape me arse, or it's my heating, cooling, computing
and driving costs: dope or diapers dickheads.

Either way, yer gonna get raped, scraped and yer anes
not worth organic donation fer shit.

"Touch me I'm sick." (words from S. Wade's 'Billy
Howarth is gonna fry' song)

You boys are on this email listing because you asked
to be included.

If I hurt your feelings, or your colon, let me know.

Cuz I care. Not.

Be good gentlemen; leave all of humanity's evil in my
mouth and on my shoulders. Huckleberry, I mean
Hercules, was a fucking Finn.

Bite my dick. Cuz all bad news at the pump is good
news to me: higher Alaska Perm Fund Div checkage and
gushing royalties into Gov Murky's checkbook.

If I was Guv, I'd arrange really sweet deals for the
oil companies too: as long as they also promise me a
$2,000,000 a year job as VP of BP, Conoco or Exxon.

Cuz like the Guv, I too am happy to enslave anything
darker than my own dick.

"I'm a nigger, yer a nigger. Wouldn't you like to be
Alaskan too?" (rect version of Dr. Pepper jingle)

After his office expires (and any remaining
popularity), we'll see what covert sweet deals our
governor made with big oil.

Of course that pain yer feeling whist bent over the
gas pump is his betrayal and our permanent slavery to
him, his ilk and race.

He who fucks last, fucks best.


Karl.

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