Thursday, March 30, 2006

When yer wife asks you if you want sugar in yer coffee, ask her to just cut off one of yer fucking legs. + Alaska's aerial hunting of potheads.

Top of the morning gents,

I like a good sugar rush.

Now I find out that these sugar rushes and sugar
crashes ruin my pancreas and make all the cells of my
body either insulin resistant or glucose resistant.

The pancreas organ produces insulin to allow our cells
to absorb sugar, if our pancreas diminishes in
performance, just like our wives ovaries, our blood
sugar rises.

High blood sugar is great prior to a workout or
athletic event, hell if we sit at the computer, TV or
wheel of our car. High blood sugar is the leading
cause of blindness, impotence and limb amputation.

High blood sugar also kills our immune system and
shreds our erectile functions.

Sugar dissolved in our bloodstream-glucose molecules,
are huge energy units that scratch and carve up our
kidneys, heart, eyes and brain feeding blood vessels.
Hence why Johnny Cash lost his vision, then required
kidney dialysis decades before he was diagnosed an
alcoholic and amphetamine junky.

Early on, he refused to eat whole foods low on the
glucogenic chart: foods that DON'T flood your
bloodstream with jagged glucose molecules. He also
refused to quit boozing: culprit number 1 in the blood
sugar rocket mission.

All adults of Nordic descent have a bit of gluten
(grain starch) and lactose (dairy fat) intolerance:
hence our weight gain when we eat continental American
foods high in dairy, starch, fats and sugar. We also
tend to blow ass if we gorp too much dairy shit.

At the 3 restaurants my classmates at the Helsinki
Campus managed, they updated their menus to foods from
300 years ago: no beef, dairy based creams and minimal
starches. Only Finnish cuisine of Reindeer, oiled
salmon, Minki whale slices with caviar and lots of
vegies make for a handsome Finn, NOT steak and taters
we all enjoy.

I've been forced to do the same in the last five
years. To improve my long distance mountain biking and
weight lifting strength, my doctor lectured that me
and bun eliminate all cholesterol, saturated fats and

He's still bitching about my Viking's thirst for Jim

I've shed a buttload of pounds, so has the Mrs. I went
from pert near 300 pounds of well dressed business
attire to almost 200 pounds of Barrow village attired
'stink man.'

The Mrs. has lost almost 40 pounds.

Since moving to Anchoragua and away from my mountain
bikes, walks and workouts, we're slowly trending back
to Gumbyville.

This will not do. The good doctor told me that if
sugar was discovered today, it'd be one of the most
controlled substances. The traditional American diet
is for porkers and fatfucks, hence why HALF of all
native Americans have diabetes.

Everybody on the North American Continent is an
immigrant. Everybody in the rest of the world is
busting balls and walls to get to the promised land,
Norte Del Amerigo Vespucie: The Americas.

Looking around the room, I see I'm the most recent
immigrant: first generation American. My dad's newly
adopted corporate lifestyle and afluence at Boeing
Aerospace for 35 years made him a very wealthy WOP, a
bastard child immigrant With Out Papers. In other
words, a real estate monger and Scandinavian Jew (ask
Gayle Ralston).

For the first time in our family tree, he also now has
diabetes, poor circulation, all four coronary heart
artery scraped out, angina, failing eyesight and
frequent surgeries. Finns, Swedes, stray northern
micks and limey fucks shant partake of the great
cornucopia of Yankee snacks, right mates?

None of us are immune, cuz none of us were supposed to
eat American shit foods.

The desired and coveted land of plenty is now killing
us zebra cultured hominids.

White bread, white flour, white sugar?

Good for Gumby, not you.

Now read shit, not eat shit my fellow Alaskimos.



Native American Times
The Nation's Largest Independent Indian News Source.

Area events planned to battle diabetes

Sam Lewin 3/29/2006

The local branch of the American Diabetes Association
reports that over 300,000 Oklahoma residents have the
disease, and they estimate up to a third do not even
know it.

A series of area events marking the next few months is
designed to raise awareness of the illness and raise
money for research.

The Tour De Cure, a series of cycling events held in
more than 80 cities nationwide to benefit the
association takes place May 13th, followed by
America's Walk four months later.

This year’s tour begins and ends at OSU-Tulsa at 700
N. Greenwood, in the north part of the city. The
routes vary, ranging in distance from 66, 40, 23 and
12 miles. Cyclists are encouraged to raise at least
$125. All told, the walk is expected to raise $100,000
for research.

The walk is a massive fundraising event and according
to the association’s website Tulsa is the only
Oklahoma city where the event takes place, starting
out this year at LaFortune Park. For information about
the walk and the tour, or just to find out more about
the association in general, call 1-888-DIABETES. The
Tulsa number is (918) 492-3839.

It is no secret that diabetes has ravaged the American
Indian community. The Indian Health Care Resource
Center of Tulsa reports that over half of their
patients ages 7-12 currently are classified as
overweight. Seven out of every of the children
enrolled in the center’s summer camp have a family
history of diabetes.

Other organizations have looked at the diabetes
epidemic among Natives living across the country.
According to the National Diabetes Information
Clearinghouse, the disease is one of the most serious
health challenges facing American Indians and Alaska
Natives in the United States today. The disease is
very common in many tribes, and morbidity and
mortality from diabetes can be severe. Most American
Indians and Alaska Natives with diabetes have type 2
diabetes, which usually develops in adults but can
develop in children or adolescents. Type 2 diabetes is
caused by the body's resistance to the action of
insulin and by impaired insulin secretion. It can be
managed with healthy eating, physical activity, oral
diabetes medications, and/or injected insulin. Until
recently, type 2 diabetes was rarely diagnosed in
children and adolescents. However, type 2 diabetes is
now common in American Indian children age 10 and
older. A small number of American Indians (about 2 to
4 percent) have type 1 diabetes, which usually
develops before age 20 and is managed with insulin,
healthy eating, and physical activity.

About 15 percent of American Indians and Alaska
Natives who receive care from the Indian Health
Service have been diagnosed with diabetes, a total of
105,000 people. On average, American Indians and
Alaska Natives are 2.6 times as likely to have
diagnosed diabetes as non-Hispanic whites of a similar

In all, over 18 million Americans are afflicted with
the illness.

First started in 1940, the American Diabetes
Association now has a message specifically designed
for Native Americans. It appears on the group’s
website and reads as follows:

Years ago, Native Americans did not have diabetes.
Elders can recall times when people hunted and
gathered food for simple meals. People walked a lot.
Now, in some Native communities, one in two adults has

Awakening the Spirit: Pathways to Diabetes Prevention
& Control was created to help share important messages
about diabetes. No one should have to fight diabetes

It is important for you to know:

People with diabetes can manage it.

People with diabetes can live full lives

People with diabetes can be well enough to watch their
grandchildren grow up.

Through working with other organizations including the
Indian Health Service, developing and disseminating
educational materials and participating in advocacy
activities, Awakening the Spirit is working to
encourage your spirit to fight diabetes, to make
healthy food choices and be more active.

All of these things will help create a healthy pathway
for you and the generations that will follow after

Nationally and locally, Native American communities
around the country are working through Awakening the
Spirit to encourage Congress to continue funding
diabetes education programs in tribal communities.
Writing, faxing, calling and visiting congressional
members are several strategies employed at the
community level to lobby for issues of concern
specifically addressing needs identified by the Native
American community.

The volunteer leadership of Awakening the Spirit,
representing various tribal communities, invites you
to join in the fight against diabetes.

You can make a difference! Register with our ADA
Action Center. You will receive regular updates on
state and federal diabetes legislation that affects
you. Together we can work to improve access to quality
care, eliminate discrimination against people because
of their diabetes, and ensure appropriate funding for
diabetes research and programs.

Knowledge is power in the fight against diabetes. We
have information to share with you, your family and
community about living well with diabetes. Call us at
1-800-DIABETES (342-2383).


Alaska announces aerial pothead control
Managing Editor

Alaska voters approved a controversial ballot measure
Monday to create an aerial pothead control program.
Supporters of the bill say it will help keep stoners
at home where they belong, and opponents, who fought
long and hard against the measure, were suddenly
unavailable for comment.

Existing state helicopters already equipped for
hunting wolf will be modified to track and shoot
marijuana smokers from the air. No bag limits have
been announced yet, but the Department of Fish and
Game has announced open season on anyone seen wearing
a hemp necklace, a Led Zeppelin T-shirt, or

Tourists from out of state immediately expressed
outrage at the plan.

"You dumb whiteys, when will you ever learn?" said
Jimmy Livingstone of Jamaica, who had just heard of
the program. "From now on, I and I's on the beach

As they ended a weeklong vacation, an opposition
group, whose members hail from Maine, Vermont,
Connecticut and Jamaica, vowed never to return to
Alaska again.

"Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split
ya!" said Gov. Frank Murkowski. Murkowski praised
Alaskan voters in a press release this morning, and
suggested hippie grease and woven dreadlock rugs as
useful byproducts of the program.

"I can't wait to get my hands on all the leftover
munchies!" Murkowski said.

Phoebe Hartfeldt, president of Friends for Potheads,
said her organization is taking out ads in magazines
and newspapers urging tourists to boycott Alaska.

"Potheads are beautiful, gentle animals," Hartfeldt
said. "Popular mythology has reinforced mankind's
unfounded fear of the pot smoker. It doesn't have to
be that way."


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