Thursday, March 16, 2006

For a bunch of armed and dangerous Alaskans, you guys say the nicest things.

Top of the morning gents,

I’m glad to get that goddamned language article
finished and posted AND off my chest. My desktop is
cluttered with word docs spattered with half-baked
ideas and letters.

Ya'll best thank that blessed Eskimo wife of mine for
prodding my bovine smelling goat ass to finish, edit
and post them. That gal takes full advantage of her
congenital Siberian eye structure sifting my
fragmented sentences and thoughts for poor spelling
sculpting corrections towards the poetic.

Wrapping up an article why the author's language is
resentful, vicious and self-contradictory is yet just
another exercise for your author on drugs in defeatist
self-deprecation. Some fuck head's gotta do it.

Better me than you, right mates?

I'll likely never fully understand my own language and
oughta simply be happy with all the jagged chards, dim
wit and piles of smoldering raw materials I've
absorbed from drinking, smoking and chatting with all
you bastards and scoundrels of dozens of

If you look close enough, you'll detect blatant
plagiarisms in my ejaculatory quips and shitty bits
nicked from the sheer tonnage of textbooks I've
chemically absorbed. This is how broken brains
synthesize raw data and how tampons soak up collateral
blood when ye put a pinch between yer cheek and gum.
My mind ain't like your fine Swiss time pieces, except
for all the holes, it's a heaving and leaking sponge.
Okay, a sieve, fuck ye.

The doors of perception between concept and experience
are like the thin membrane between your reptilian,
amphibian and mammalian brains' varietal images all us
bicameral minded hominids are forced to reconcile and

As my best mates got a little older and a fuck lot
wiser, there exhibited a idea to weave my creative yet
dumb ass imagination into our sufferable existential
lot in life through these busted knuckles and red
baked eyes. Besides, yours is truly a thankless lot in

When examined here in my arctic computing laboratory,
you soldiers look far more altruistic, honorable and

See how self-image is reflected in quantum physics in
spite of my perversions and oversimplifications? You
go dudes your reflections have boners.

(Carlos Salazar's felony arrest suggestions frequently
conclude with "don't that make yer tongue hard?")

Why am I thinking about that tough old cuss? Oh yeah,
his name came up a few nights back. Me and bunnik were
partying at our favorite drug house of ill repute and
old man Thomas asked us if we knew the foul spic. So,
for the rest of the evening and weed, we chatted
arctic ad nausea minus 2 decades like a loud gaggle of
elderly Italian women high on life, green beer and
green toke.

Village copping, ambulance cleaning, jailer
babysitters, and aboriginal and child advocacy jobs
are thankless, 'cept here in the smoking section of
our shared gray matter composed synergistic universe
way in the back of the goat's pasture.

Ain’t nothing new to this lethal group think: it’s
like the old virtual RAM memory expanding trick tall
skinny Sam from the SOM computer lab showed me with my
old Mac computers. By staking out territory in your
mind, this huge cat box hard drive and data dumpsite,
we can fetch some pretty decent performance out of old
junk circuitry and obsolete CPU's.

I seen some of the devastating punches and blows you
boys have taken, ain’t none of ye better git another
concussion or we’ll all start staggering and drooling
in our boxer’s dementia heaven: with a boner of

In other words, you too are now being exploited as
trivia junkyards and helpful hotrod componentry.

Kewl huh?

Follow me as I walk back to my mind's message memory,
where I keep all yer compliments and atta-boy strokes.

I hear mine echoing in the back of your mind, same

All the nice things you graying gunslingers and
uniformed felons have ever said and written to me are
kept back there with the faces of my lifesaving
angels: coaches, conductors, professors and pals.

Let's see, here's a real heck of fine message from our
dude employed in child safety, selflessly thinking CPS
was safer than KPD.

I've taken only minor literary license; it was pert
near perfect when I first read, then saved this



From: "Agent Octuck"
Subject: Re: Blessed soldiers and angels.
To: "Karl F. Ewing"

Hiya Karl,

You know the other day I had a child ask me a
question. "Do you believe in angels?"

I told her of "course I do. I see them all the time.
Did you know that they didn't have wings."

She asked "what do you mean they didn't have wings."

I told her "all my angels are my friends, we always
look after each other."

Reading your morning post all these years, I thought
I'd share that with you.



Now that's one positive rural Alaskan note of
encouragement. Here's 2 pieces where the bad guys lose
all the way 'round.

3 cheers to Alaskan constabulary success.


Article Published: Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Man jailed after firing shotgun at police

By TIM MOWRY, Staff Writer

A Fairbanks man is in jail after greeting Alaska State
Troopers with three shots from a 12-gauge shotgun
Sunday night when they arrived at his home.
John Moore, 43, was arrested on multiple charges
following the incident on Fleshman Street near Farmers
Loop and the Steese Highway.

Moore was charged with two counts of third-degree
assault on police officers and one count each of
first-degree burglary, third-degree domestic assault,
fourth-degree assault and fourth-degree misconduct
involving weapons. He was being held at Fairbanks
Correctional Center on $75,000 bail Monday night.

Troopers received a 911 call from Moore's wife just
after 9 p.m. and she reported that he was drunk and
might have a gun, according to a trooper report. There
were also three children in the house, she told

When two troopers arrived at Moore's house 15 minutes
later, he was outside armed with a short-barreled
12-gauge pump-action shotgun. Moore fired the gun
three times while troopers were within 25 to 40 yards.
Troopers did not return fire.

"The troopers in this situation displayed a great deal
of restraint," said trooper spokesman Greg Wilkinson
in Anchorage.

After firing the shots, Moore retreated to his
residence and came back out without the shotgun.

He proceeded to kick in the barricaded door of a
neighbor's home where his wife had taken sanctuary a
few minutes after calling troopers.

Moore left that residence without harming anyone and
then eluded troopers.

Moore remained at large for about a half-hour while
troopers searched the area for him. Four officers from
the Fairbanks Police Department assisted four troopers
on scene with the search.

Troopers found Moore hiding in a metal scrap pile next
to a shop at 10:05 p.m.


Cold case: 10-yr. fugitive found in Alaska 03/14/2006

By SCOTT FROST Staff Writer

TRENTON -- Mercer County Sheriffs hunted a man wanted
by local police for over 10 years to Alaska, police
said yesterday.

Michael E. Johnson, 52, had a valid driver’s license
and was living in Anchorage when the U.S. Marshals
arrested him over the weekend in connection to an
armed robbery in West Windsor back in 1994, Sheriff
Kevin Larkin said.

Detective Jeremy Stewart started working the case
several weeks back, when through a variety of computer
databases, he was able to track Johnson to Delaware,
Oklahoma, Texas and Washington.

When he couldn’t find the suspect at any of the first
four locations, Stewart tried a post office box
Johnson was using in Alaska, police said.

The U.S. Marshals in the Anchorage area were called
and Johnson was identified this weekend by a post
office employee who knew the wanted man.

Stewart had a beat on where Johnson was living, and
the agents were able to arrest him at that location,
police said.

Back on Oct. 22, 1994, Johnson allegedly used a
shotgun to rob a juvenile of a $20 bag of crack
cocaine as he hung out with a group of guys smoking
drugs in a rental car parked at the Carengie office
complex, Larkin said.

With the gun pointed at the teen, Johnson chambered
the bullet as he ordered the unidentified youth out of
the car.

Police said as the juvenile walked to the sidewalk,
Johnson pulled out the gun again and ordered him to
turn over his cash.

The kid pulled out the $2 he had, but Johnson tossed
the money away in disgust and told him to give up his
crack, which the juvenile did before the crew drove
off, police said.

Johnson was never arrested, Larkin said, but was
indicted by a Mercer County Grand Jury in March 1995
for armed robbery, aggravated assault, weapons
possession, criminal attempt to commit burglary,
theft, unlawful taking by means of conveyance and 14
counts of theft by deception for writing bad checks.

The warrant was issued for his arrest in 1995 for
failing to appear for his court appearance, police

Johnson is being held in Anchorage, as he awaits
extradition to Mercer County.

Police couldn’t say yesterday what Johnson had been
doing all these years on the lam or what he was doing
in Alaska.


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