Monday, February 13, 2006

Holy cow batman, my zip code puts me in Auschwitz. "If I wake up, it's a good day. It's a holiday." (T.Date)

Top of the morning gents,

“Hi this is Harv Zimmerman fer the American Cancer
Society.” “Ever since I lost one of my lungs, I’ve cut
my smoking in half.” (Cheech and Chong. OD-40)

I’m not much of a cigarette smoker, usually less than
a pack a year I suppose. I do chug more bottles of
beer on the wall than all the rest of my immediate
famn damily.

Them Eskimo bitches are smart as fuck. No shit. They
is all sober as fucking judges. All of ‘em: 3
generations deep. Bunnik, Magnum, and Gwendolyn
Ootoyuk and Tayleen Tikiq: all non-smokers,
non-drinkers, and non-druggers. Shit, leaves more fer

Aboriginal chicks is smart, keep gramps all fucked up
and handcuffed to his dumb ass computing station
ranting like a goddamned lunatic. A pensive mood need
not make a poet, but coffee and bong hits sure
unleashed havoc upon meaner men. Ye bastards.

If I ain’t bitching like a menstrual goat, I’m typing
and cycling at rates sub-moronic about the mud and
goat poop and jizz inside me rubber boots. Not all
dairy need milking, yet swathed with bag balm

Eat yer heart out; I’m merely manipulating yer own
filthy fucking imagination. Fuck all, right mates?

Since I’ve been reading so much medical research about
the health hazards of drinking and smoking, I’ve
decided to quit reading. If my only literature is the
Seattle Post Intelligencer or the Shitbanks Daily News
Moron; I ain’t missing much.

In the attached article-our left coast buddy Joel has
the right to be gay and the right to be as happy as a
dike in Auschwitz. But, his pissing and moaning only
communicates that his pains originate from his uterus,
just like that Joel cheek spreader at the Wanker Lefty
Lib Anchorage Daily Muse & Elimination, that fucker
walks like he got water in his mouth piece.

Nowadays, you cuff a bent muke under the eye, ye might
get AIDS; garrotes are mighty fine, just not very
recyclable. Ick, sorry.

Cereal Killer dudes.

Silly faggot, dicks are fer chicks. Or as G. Gordon
Liddy kicked my ass broadcast and sideways, “Yer an
M-1 A-1 Mod-Zero Fighting Machine” “Don’t put it in

I haven’t received orders barring we not put it in

Fuck I’m gross this morning.



Monday, February 13, 2006

Alaska's politicians to blame for image


If you buy the line taken in Alaska Gov. Frank
Murkowski's recent State of the State speech, the
answer to flak over "bridges to nowhere" is for the
state to go out and hire flacks.

An alternative might be put on the table: Alaska
politicians could stop fleecing taxpayers in the
"lower 48" states, and cease crude threats and clumsy
retaliatory measures -- particularly against their
colleagues from this state.

Not likely. The latest act of vengeance is a bill in
the Alaska Legislature to take the Alaska ferry
terminal away from Bellingham.

It would presumably be punishment for Washington
lawmakers' refusal to go along with December's barely
thwarted backdoor maneuver in Congress to open the
Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling.

If Murkowski does go for the public relations option
-- he has long-standing ties to the Rockey Hill &
Knowlton firm in Seattle -- the image-makers'
challenge will be formidable.

How, for instance, do you justify subsidized logging
of temperate rain forests in southeast Alaska's
Tongass National Forest?

In 2004, the Forest Service shelled out nearly $49
million to lay out timber sales and build roads.
"Smokey Bear" took in just $800,000 in income. Since
the mid-1980s, the government has lost $750 million on
logging in the Tongass.

With closure in the late 1990s of a pulp mill in
Ketchikan, timber jobs in the Tongass have fallen from
1,500 to fewer than 400.

Many timber sales go unsold. Near Hoonah, trees were
cut and left to rot on the ground. No economical
market was found. Naturally, Sen. Ted Stevens,
R-Alaska, found a way to bail out the logging company
that bought the sale.

"Taxpayers spend millions of dollars for the Forest
Service to build roads and plan sales to access timber
they often can't sell, and those that do sell do so at
below-market rates," conservative Rep. Steve Chabot,
R-Ohio, told colleagues on the House floor.

A bipartisan measure to end federal subsidies in the
Tongass actually passed the House in 2004. Stevens
deep-sixed it in the Senate.

Government pork can be nourishing, and at times part
of a wise diet.

Just look across Lake Union at the University of
Washington Health Sciences Complex. It came into being
with essential help from a powerful patron, the late
Sen. Warren Magnuson.

The research center spawned a medical products
industry in the Seattle area, and is helping make us a
world center for biotechnology. The city's total,
one-industry dependence on Boeing is history.

A different philosophy seems to prevail up north.

What long-term economic development will come from the
$315 million "bridge to nowhere" linking Ketchikan to
Gravina Island (pop. 50), site of the city's airport?
The current ferry service is quick and efficient.

The Murkowski administration plans to push a 50-mile
northward extension of the Juneau Veterans Memorial
Highway. The road would still dead-end. It is
extremely unpopular in Juneau. Its main beneficiaries
would be a proposed mine and a logging operation (to
be facilitated by a land "exchange" with the Forest
Service) near the mouth of pristine Berner's Bay.

"Unfortunately, Alaska's leaders appear willing to
sacrifice everything that makes the state unique in
order to prop up a boom-and-bust extraction economy.

"Alaskans and American taxpayers would be far better
served by diversifying the state's economy, which
would create a healthier job market and wean the state
off federal subsidies," David Jenkins writes in the
new issue of the Conservative Environmental Policy
Quarterly. Jenkins is with Republicans for
Environmental Protection.

The pork-barreling and browbeating power of Alaska's
congressional delegation has made challenges risky.

When oil drilling in the Arctic Refuge was blocked in
December, Stevens promised to stalk the home states of
its opponents -- particularly Sen. Maria Cantwell,

He is also sponsoring legislation to strip
environmental protections from Puget Sound.

But Cantwell's Republican challenger, Mike McGavick,
has privately warned Stevens about the Puget Sound
legislation, and publicly denounced the bid to strip
Bellingham of its ferry terminal.

The tantrum-prone Stevens has become an object of
national jest. He was the "winner" in a recent
"Coot-out" contest staged by Jon Stewart on The Daily
Show, edging out Sen. Robert Byrd, D-W.Va.

Ethics issues are swirling around Rep. Don Young,
R-Alaska, chairman of the powerful Transportation

Young fund-raisers were held at the MCI Center skybox
in Washington, D.C., of convicted lobbyist Jack

It was Young who blocked House action on a bill that
would have made the garment industry in the Northern
Mariana Islands comply with U.S. labor laws.

Abramoff represented the garment makers.

Were he a more astute man, Murkowski would recognize
that a dose of reality lies behind Alaska's image

In 2003, federal spending amounted to more than
$12,200 per resident of Alaska.

Doesn't the rest of the country have a right to
question waste, and to insist that the money not be
used to degrade values that make Alaska such a unique,
wonderful and largely unspoiled place?

Damned right it does.

P-I columnist Joel Connelly can be reached at
206-448-8160 or


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