Monday, December 19, 2005

Life. If it was easy, everybody would be doing it.

Top of the morning gents,

I’m plagued with volunteer requests. Again.

Since Operation Muktuk is up in smoke due to Ape
Smythe being absorbed by Front and Rear (Frontier),
I'm shit outa luck on the free freight service. All
good things have to come to an end and the same with
the wild wood weed.

I pegged out this free freight deal last year to the
tune of 2.5 tons of donated primo fucking muktuk from
Little Kukpiq, Itta and Aikin whale crews all the way
to the our dude Cyrus at the Kotzebue Senior Center.

Yup, I'm a very sexy man.

At least I’d like to think so. But then again, I tend
to only believe in the positive aspects of murderous
behaviors. Hence my fondness for you lot. Ye bastards
of ill repute. More Eskimo than any of you spectral
Nigerians of diverse pussy odor, or so Super Dad from
Unalakleet declared.

In rural Alaska, no good deed goes unpunished and all
deeds of philanthropy have a hidden agenda devised by
a crouching Viking.

My smarter friends from Mt. Vernon, Washington fled my
demonic infectious charm when my sick fuck business
partners started stinking up the joint. Since shutting
down Lem's mortuary and crack house, I've been feeling
a fuck load better about myself. Something I finally
communicated over the phone last week and again this

Even in a hunnert fucking years, I won't live long
enough to reverse my overflowing bin of sin.

“Ain’t no living with a killer” (Shane).

My redemption is as fleeting as a wet rum fart in a
Kikiktagruk blizzard. But as long I as serve causes
more noble than pussy or beer, I'm cool.

Helping set up the Inupiaq Craft Fair every month
don't offset dick in the balance scales of good and
bad and doing taxes for dirt poor elderly natives only
gets me half way into some cooter biscuit that farts
dust every time I come a load and drive it home.

See? I’m almost as nasty as the Sgt.

My number has been called and I gotta backpedal faster
than waking up with a short little circus
hermaphrodite with a beard, permanently glued solid
half-way down my totem pole. I'll never tire of
Downing jokes.

Ya see, I ain’t as noble nor benevolent as I wish I
could lie about: I’m feral as you lads and my shitty
humor inescapably depicts this.

A tall Finn, a pretty Eskimo woman and huge boxes of
frozen muktuk, blubber and meat were a very common
site in the lobbies, hangars and loading ramps in
Barrow’s bush air services, what I concealed in select
shipments was hidden in plain site.

Nope, no acid, meth or gooner bud, just Jim Beam to a
select few of our best mates that live in dry
villages. I’ll give you three guesses and Marvin
Ramoth and Rick Mashburn are automatic wrecked ‘em
game winners.

Clause. Santa Claus. Licensed to kill brain cells and
thwart local option law; able to leap tall fines and
sentences from dishonorable behavior and checks with a
single bounce. Like Al Sanders inquired, “What do you
think I am?” “Super Nigger?”

Can a person truly spend their life volunteering for
drug interdiction and early childhood education? Fuck
you, don’t answer that.

Chatting with a lad from this brood of scarred
servants this weekend reminded me what public service
truly means. And I’m afraid I ain’t reached my full
quid neither.

One of our am cop dudes is still donating his time
repairing broken children: after pert near 10 fucking
years this abbreviated Dante is still pulling net and
shoveling coal for AmeriCorp and Vista. What a
selfless gomer.

God blesses those that shield the innocent from evil.

This chemically distorted grunt from heaven is still
busting his fucking balls serving the greater good.
Good being a paradigm derivative of the Danish Gud and
some Finnish boat builder’s wish of Godspeed.

The boats the Russians used to rape Alaska were made
in Finland and Vitus Bering was a sea captain and dock
drunk recruited from Helsinki. Every cruise ship
bigger than 4 Titanics are built with Nordic hands and
minds too.

I married smart to a wife not of Nordic stock. Meaning
I’m the dumb ass and she is the brains ‘round here. I
would’ve never volunteered to help any of you sons of
fucks had not me Mrs. lectured and financed me into
narcotic subordination.

Come on: 2 years of service core-sampling the large
intestines of 2 little girls named Kenny and Chris. No
charge; save my margins and fees skimmed off the top
of every drug transaction, with or without state

6 months fucking around up at SAC (Student Apartment
Complex) chasing a GHB, coke and meth vendor trying to
schedule sizable purchases with the coordination of
UAF, Statewide Drug Enforcement and AST coppers. Most
honorable mention goes to 1D25’s quick draw kid.
Fucking genius at chameleon shape-shifting and village

I’d never have learned the laundry soap/shampoo/candle
smuggling techniques if not for taking shit from
uniformed killers. The covert blubber and muktuk
smuggling gig was ad-libbed, the LSD in the pit bull
airport kennel was Harley’s brilliant idea while
Cullikmun disassembled electronic gadgetry and left
your author on drugs to find the shit, then put the
synthesizer or amp system back together.

Hard shit when yer baked, using Kotzebue tools:
serious case of nigger rigor mortis.

If you look at the bottom of this list you’ll see the
bitch of the batch. One whole fucking year of suicide
prevention after school activities will likely kill my
sorry ass. The Mrs. backs this play, but I’m scared. I
ain’t fucking native and these duties angelic require
I move back into another scumbag village all over
again. Fuck!

I may just nibble at some cake jobs here in
Anchoragua, I’m sick of paying Eskimo prices for my

“Nobody told me there’d be days like these. Strange
days indeed.” (1 of 2 dead silver insects.)



Posted: 11/30/05

AmeriCorps/Vista Position Title: Adult Basic

Location: Anchorage - Nine Star Enterprises

Requirements: High School or GED diploma required.
Good oral , written and organizational skills.

Basic Computer Skills

Assist in the Plato Lab (online computer aided

Assessment testing (TABE, BEST- ESL) and orientation

Able to work some evenings

Fax Application to BH 279-3299


AmeriCorps/VISTA Position Title: Refugee Case Manager

Location: Anchorage – Catholic Social Services

Requirements: High school or GED diploma required. One
year’s work in human services preferred. Demonstrated
dependability, maturity, and initiative. Good
inter-personal, oral, and written communications
skills. Flexibility to deal effectively with a variety
of people, situations, problems, and challenges.
Ability to maintain client confidentiality and treat
each individual with respect. Knowledge of Alaska area
social services agencies is highly desirable. Ability
to gather and organize information regarding community
resources. Familiarity with the Internet and use of
e-mail required. Bilingual (written and verbal) in
language used by refugee clients preferred. Ability to
climb stairs and lift up to 50 pounds (small children,
boxes of supplies, etc.)

Duties: Assists with client case management for the
Refugee Assistance Project (RAP) focusing on
supplementing work of RAP Case Managers promoting
clients’ employment readiness skills. Coordinates with
several case managers to assist in managing their
caseloads. All duties must be performed in accordance
with all stipulations of the project grant.

Application: Fax resume to BH at (907) 279-3299

Comments: Must have a valid Alaska Driver’s License,
reliable transportation, a good driving record, and
proof of insurance for any private vehicle used for
transport of clients or staff. Must hold current
Infant/Child/Adult CPR and First Aid certification.


Posted: 11/30/05

AmeriCorps/VISTA Position Title: Elementary Bilingual

Location: Anchorage – Creekside Elementary School

Requirements: Basic knowledge of reading and writing.
Ability to communicate effectively, both orally and in
writing. Ability to work with individuals from diverse
cultural and economic backgrounds. Basic computer
skills in the more common software application
programs. Fluency in Hmong.

Duties: Tutors Hmong students lacking proficiency in
the English in English language skills. Provides
students with practice in speaking and understanding
the language. Prepares materials and translates key
concepts for their use. Offers students support and
encouragement. Serves as liaison to Hmong parents
encouraging them to come to school for special
meetings and conferences regarding their children.
Interprets during these meetings.

Application: Fax resume to BH at (907) 279-3299

Comments: Must pass federal, state, and local
background investigations.

AmeriCorps/VISTA Position


Posted: 11/30/05

AmeriCorps/VISTA Position Title: Youth Case Worker

Location: Anchorage – Covenant House Alaska

Requirements: Excellent oral and written communication
skills. Good judgment and common sense with the
ability to prioritize multiple tasks. Excellent
organizational skills and the ability to work with a
minimum of supervision. Good customer service skills.
Ability to lift up to 50 pounds.

Duties: Assists Covenant House Alaska staff in helping
youth acquire job related skills and the tools and
skills necessary go gain full-time employment. Assists
in the design and delivery of job development classes.
Develops working relationships with employers
throughout the community. Provides direct intervention
and employment referral services for youth. Provides
youth with educational information and opportunities.
Attends and participates in youth case reviews as
required. Performs other duties as assigned.

Application: Fax resume to BH at (907) 279-3299

Comments: Must possess a current valid Alaska Driver’s
License and a clean driving record. Must pass federal,
state, and local background investigations.


Posted: 11/30/05

Job Title: Case Manager (full time staff position

Location: Anchorage

Requirements: Requires Bachelor’s degree (experience
may be substituted for degree). One year of
experience. Proficiency in Microsoft Office and
FileMaker Pro.

Duties: Assess clients to identify barriers to
employment. Develop client plans leading to
self-sufficiency. Monitor client progress. Conduct
client follow-up and determine need for supportive
services. Prepare for and attend case review hearings
for clients. Develop employment and training
opportunities and make appropriate job matches and
referrals for clients.

Salary: Depending on Experience

Application: Fax resume to TD at (907) 279-3299



Assist clients who are unemployed or under employed
through job search, resume writing, work related
presentations, data entry

Knowledge of community resources helpful

Fax resumes to BH (907) 279-3299



Location: Anchorage

Working with children, youth and adults in our "Tech

Basic computer skills including Microsoft Word,
Outlook and one of the Internet Programs

Fax resume to BH (907) 279-3299



Location: Anchorage
Assist Case Managers with intake interviews and post
TA (Temporary Assistance) services.

Data entry, record keeping, basic computer skills -
Word, Excel and Outlook

Excellent customer service skills

Fax resume to BH (907) 279-3299


District - Villages of Nunum Iqua and Alakanuk)

This is an excellent opportunity to help create a
healthy positive atmosphere for the youth of these two

Administer after school and out of school tutoring,
activities and literacy programs.

Attend training workshops, work with school personnel
in planning and coordinating long term strategies to
address identified needs

Knowledge and understanding of the Yupik Culture.

Fax resume to BH (907)279-3299


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