Tuesday, September 13, 2005

My rural party pit diatribal discourse why Vikings are incapable of suffering.

Top of the morning gents,

Just when I thought things could get worse, they do.

A federal and state commission charged with the
investigation into the extraordinary violence we enjoy
out here in rural Alaska recommends we FURTHER
restrict, limit, and possibly even eliminate the
availability of liquor in Bush Alaska.

Ouch, that's why I migrate from hard drinking
communities in Scandinavia and the Baltics to hard
drinking communities on Eskimo soil north of 70 lat.
If we increase regulation up here in Barrow, my
solvent salvos will dwindle to a piss drop.

Us Ukpeagvik rapists and killers can only pick up our
liquor from the Distribution Center during a narrow
time window of 2 hours a day Tuesday through Friday
(4:30pm-6:30pm) and 4 hours on Saturday
(2:30pm-6:30pm) with operations closed Sunday and

Pretty narrow time slots to pick up yer booze eh?

Ain't nothing like Kotzebue or Bethel (butthole), you
chumps can retrieve yer liquor over the airline
counters anytime during business hours, seven days a
fucking week with only Squish, Waller and Nolton
inspecting your monthly purchases.

Me and Bunnik's liquor purchases are filed EVERY month
at the NS cop shop, city hall and the distribution
center. Computer print outs and LAN acccess to our
private liquor purchase decisions are also available
to ABC at any time. Now that's fucking tight control.
Can your municipal liquor store do that?

I've taken monster iron lung bong rips with my
Siberian neighbors, munched dried meat fried bread
grits, napped, then awoken at pert near 7:00pm in time
for Antiques Roadshow, completely missing my narrow
2-hour time slot to pick up my high brow snooty
Chateau de PooPoo Lafite vineyard heroin.

Don't that just piss ye off?

My monthly limit is 6 bottles of hard liquor and 6
cases of beer. Since Eskimos HATE wine, that allotment
is way up at 20 bottles of wine or 4 5-liter boxes per

High-proof port wines are still considered wines so I
occasionally peg out my allotment with lots of
'fortified' port like Grahams, Porto, or Whidbey;
superior brands to Mad Dog 20/20.

Port wines = 20% alcohol
Table wines = 10-12% alcohol

See what I've become? Some time during my existence
here north of 70 lat, I also adopted all the sneaky
angles and scams to enhance my imbibement bang for the
buck, just like every good Selawikmute or

This is insanity. For me and my Eskimo brethren.

Thank God I'm not what I used to be. Ain't nobody's
fault but mine for what I've become.

What's good for the ScandicGander, may not be good for
the AboriginalGoose. I ain't fucking native and my
propensity for violent reactions and depression under
the influence of excess liquor is supported by the
vastly lower rates of violence by my kinfolk. Finns
and Swedes of Nordic, Norsemen, and Normandy descent
absorbed by every culture we murdered and raped
therefore permanently polluting all bloodlines
worldwide, no exceptions.

Us lot are best described as 80,000 year old Alien
Finno-Ugruks defined by vastly different DNA and
internal organ structure and function. We seldom
conquer shit, but we invade yer momma and forever
improve yer baby's looks.

I must caution you in advance though. Us
knuckle-headed ScandiNeegros were the last holdout
against Christianity. Rates of violence amongst
Vikings is historically far worse than Native
Americans, but has declined considerably since the
Battle of Hastings in 1066 AD.

Ya see, our last human sacrifices were held in Upsala,
Sweden in 1066. Before we were led by the Bastard King
to slaughter a few thousand pussy Scotts, Brits, and
Micks, we killed and ATE over 250 humans in a pre-war
drunken blood feast.

Shit, ever hear of the Orange Marches in Ireland?
Those are red haired blue eyed Finn/Mick bastard
offspring that just can't seem to keep their hands
(and bombs) to themselves.

When our very own darkest day of the year holiday
visits from Santa Klaus Barbie were hijacked and
converted from a pagan blood and liquor binge festival
into Christmas, we ceased all human slaughter and chow
sesh parties. But, we still put more solvent down our
pie holes than everybody except the French, the
Italians, and the Alaskans who come in third place in
the world competition of per capita alcohol

ScandiNeegros pull up the rear in fourth place, but we
retained our reindeer and human blood red soaked "Good
Santa" practices of burning entire forests symbolized
today by hanging bright sparkling decorations and
twinkling lights on plastic and real Christmas trees.

I grow weary of fat and dumb Americans claiming
Scandinavia as the land of the smart, blond and
pretty. Underneath that veneer of beauty and
brilliance lies dormant cruel genetics altered by
cannibalism, chronic rape and slaughter, and chronic
binge drinking.

Analogous to the leopard not able to change its spots:
we Vikings can't change, neither can you. The longer
the epoch time period since our last cannibal grub
sesh, the quickly lowering our propensity to rape and

Mad cow? Fuck no. Mad thou.

It's our nature. We're a bunch of blue and gray eyed
Jews that failed to evolve into empathetic and
socially consious and caring humans.

UW Cultural and Physical Anthropology Professor Lou
Tarrant lectured that gray and blue eyed humans have
slightly modified Central Nervous Systems. Far more
hyperactivity and far less emotional response to human
suffering. Blue/Gray eye colored people simply don't
have the wiring to give a shit about bleeding slaves
nor shrieking human table meats writhing at the end of
our forks and knives, fangs and teeth.

It seems that brown and black eyed humans are better
equipped for social grouping and advanced civilization
building. Ye commie socialist bastards, ye took over
the world and left us Nordic tribesman malingering in
the land of ice and snow, left out in the cold.

Yup, gray and blue eyes are the sign of the Devil, and

Doubt me? You'll blatantly see this if you drink with
SixKiller and I for a few millenia.

Now that's a party, until we're extinct in a coupla
hunnert years, then all ye African Mexican and Native
Americans will rule the world free of us gray and blue
eyed devil elitist murderers and slave traders.

Scandinavia. The fine people that brought you
outsourcing, cocaine, and slavery. Ain't no profit in
fair play or peace. When we role out the red carpet,
we use human hides.

Harvest the world before the third world learns to
read, thus discovering Jesus didn't look anything like
yer Finnish author on drugs, he could have been an
Ethopian Jew instead. Ye know?

God bless my killers in uniform; graying gunslingers
isolated far out in rural Alaska. Have a drink on me;
one bourbon, one Scotch, and one beer.



Report calls for more alcohol restrictions

RURAL JUSTICE: Abuse of liquor and drugs is named as
the top problem.

The Associated Press

Published: September 10, 2005
Last Modified: September 10, 2005 at 10:57 AM

A commission that took a hard look at life in rural
Alaska released a report Friday recommending that the
distribution and sale of alcohol be further restricted
to help villages fight alcohol and substance abuse.

"Our fellow Alaskans are, literally, dying under the
present regime," according to the draft report issued
by the Alaska Rural Justice and Law Enforcement

The commission was mandated by Congress in 2004 to
study four areas related to life in the Bush. The
commission established work groups to come up with
suggestions. Fifty Alaskans served on the work groups,
which met weekly from January to April.

"They contributed an enormous amount of time,"
commission co-chairman U.S. Attorney Timothy Burgess
said in presenting the findings to legislative leaders
and members of the Bush caucus. Alaska Attorney
General David Marquez is the other co-chairman.

The commission recommended extending their authority
so they could continue working on difficult areas
where consensus could not be reached. One such area,
they said Friday, was whether to extend jurisdiction
of tribal courts.

A short discussion of unresolved tribal sovereignty
issues followed a question from Rep. Mary Kapsner,
D-Bethel, who asked during a briefing of Bush caucus
members why the report didn't say more about tribal
courts. Kapsner said politicians in Juneau and
Washington, D.C., seemed unwilling even to discuss the
issue, despite the prevalence of such courts in rural

"I don't think you can just ignore something away,"
she said.

Burgess replied that the group wants to continue
working on that area and was opposed to issuing
minority reports with dissenting views.

Numerous meetings and public hearings were held
earlier this year with the work groups developing more
than 100 options for the commission.

The commission organized the suggestions into nine
general recommendations with the first being a call
for more collaboration among the various government
agencies involved in rural issues.

"Given the dearth of resources and the daunting nature
of the problems it was charged to address, the
Commission urges collaboration between the various
governments involved," the commission report says.

Commission members presented their findings in a
teleconference attended by former Senate President
Gene Therriault, R-North Pole, and House Majority
Leader John Coghill Jr., R-North Pole.

"I think the very first recommendation will be key,"
Coghill said.

Several of the recommendations touched on ways to
fight drug and alcohol abuse, as well as domestic
violence, child abuse and sexual abuse in the

The commission is calling for increasing the
availability of therapeutic programs while at the same
time expanding training for police and public safety
officers to reduce the importation of alcohol into dry

The report says, "The best solutions to community
alcohol problems involve the community." But it also
says that village governments have "little or no
money" and can't effectively address the problem.

Alaska's federally recognized tribes have a local
government presence, but their jurisdiction to handle
such matters is in dispute, the report says.

"The state has jurisdiction but often lacks an
effective local government presence," the report says.

"Addressing this issue successfully must be the
highest priority of the federal, state and local
governments of rural Alaska. The Commission believes
that the ultimate success of other recommendations
hinges on addressing the problem of alcohol and
substance abuse in rural Alaska," the report says.

The report contains some specific suggestions for
combating the alcohol problem. It recommends banning
written orders of alcohol sales to residents of dry
communities. Residents of dry communities now can buy
alcohol in damp communities, or those that allow

Another recommendation would ban the shipping of
alcohol in plastic bottles by air except to community
distribution sites.

Department of Public Safety Commissioner Bill
Tandeske, a member of the commission, explained the
rationale for plastic among bootleggers.

"They don't make that heavy clinking noise," he said.
Bootleggers also will burp the bottles so that the
contents won't slosh around and make noise, he said.

The commission also would like to see that hub
communities -- those that serve as points of entry for
two or more villages or have a state or federally
funded airport -- have alcohol distribution sites. The
recommendation would apply to areas where at least 20
percent of the villages are either dry or damp.

If the community did not set up an alcohol
distribution site, the Alcohol Beverage Control Board
would do it.

Permits to pick up liquor from the community alcohol
distribution sites would be held by residents of the
damp communities only. A computerized database
available to law enforcement would be located at each
site. The ABC would be authorized to run the database
to track alcohol shipments.

The intent would be "to reduce the ability of
bootleggers to buy their 'legal' monthly limit from
many package stores," the report says.

The public can comment on the report until Sept. 30.



A Solution In Alaska

Liz Moyer, 09.07.05, 6:00 AM ET

NEW YORK - Hurricane Katrina may have blown open the
door to oil drilling in previously forbidden

The deadly storm last week not only destroyed the
historic city of New Orleans and important port towns
in Mississippi and Alabama, it took direct aim at the
heart of the U.S. refining and oil industry. With
refineries and pipelines struggling to come back, and
some 58 offshore drilling rigs either missing or
damaged, talk has turned to diversifying where the
U.S. drills for oil.

This plays right into the hands of those who have been
pushing for exploration and drilling in Alaska's
Arctic National Wildlife Refuge--19 million acres of
wilderness in the northeastern reaches of Alaska,
bounded by the Arctic Ocean to the north and the
Canadian border to the east. It is often called the
American Serengeti by environmental groups that are
intent on preserving it.

There is also talk of allowing drilling off the coast
of Virginia and the Carolinas, and possibly along the
West Coast, in areas previously guarded by a
moratorium. Florida has already rejected the idea, but
a lifting of that ban could force the state to
reconsider. And it's clear the stress on the energy
market caused by Katrina could embolden the oil
industry to press for more freedom to explore.

Katrina's timing couldn't have been better for
proponents of drilling--and worse for those opposed to
it. Congress is expected to take a vote this fall on a
budget reconciliation bill that would open the Alaska
refuge to drilling after a 25 year battle. (Congress
approved exploration in the refuge in 1995 only to
meet with President Bill Clinton's veto.)

"I don't want to look like it's exploiting the
situation, but I think that America is seeing what
disruption of these supplies does," said Jerry Hood,
the coordinator in Washington for Arctic Power, an
industry lobby that is pushing for drilling on a
portion of the reserve known as the Coastal Plain.

William Kovacs, an environment, technology and
regulatory affairs expert at the U.S. Chamber of
Commerce, says there is mounting pressure to open more
sites for drilling and exploration, and Katrina's
aftermath "will help the cause and speed it up."

Kovacs added that the devastation that Katrina had on
the nation's oil infrastructure forced Americans to
"wake up to the fact that everything runs on energy."

Indeed, the Senate Committee on Energy and Natural
Resources moved up its scheduled hearing on the
conditions in the energy market from Thursday to
Tuesday. The committee said it would explore several
issues, including high retail gas prices, refining
capacity and the need to diversify both refining and
production capacity.

Gasoline and crude oil prices were already at highs
before the hurricane hit, with U.S. refineries pumping
out gas at near peak capacity. Katrina knocked out
several major refineries and production platforms
along the Gulf Coast.

Gulf oil production dropped by 1.5 million barrels per
day, according to Hood, about the amount that is
estimated will be produced per day in the Alaska
refuge region. Had drilling there already been in
place, Katrina's "disruption wouldn't have been as
bad," Hood argues.

Things are slowly coming back online in the Gulf. The
Coast Guard noted on Tuesday that the Louisiana
Offshore Oil Port, or LOOP, a major station for
offloading crude oil from tankers that are too big for
most U.S. ports, is operating at 75% capacity.

Drilling advocates are pushing for Congress to approve
oil and gas exploration on 1.5 million acres of the
Alaska refuge, though they say a compromise could be
reached that would confine any physical plant to
roughly 2,000 acres. Both sides of the table are set
to meet to draft the language for the budget
reconciliation bill in the coming week. The House is
seen pressing for a vote later this month, while
things could get pushed into October in the Senate,
which is also dealing with confirmation hearings for
Supreme Court nominee John Roberts.

Unlike an energy bill, which is frequently the source
of much debate and filibustering, the budget bill is a
simple majority vote. There is no debating, making its
passage more likely, not to mention its signing by
President George W. Bush, who is in favor of drilling
in the Alaska refuge area.

The budget bill doesn't specifically name the Alaska
wildlife refuge, but it does provide for a $2.4
billion reduction in energy spending over five years.
That is precisely the same amount as the federal
portion of the estimated value of revenue from leasing
rights on the Coastal Plain.

Opponents of drilling Alaska argue that its production
potential is limited and not worth the damaging
environmental effects it could cause and the danger to
the lives of the animals and other wildlife in the

"We're surprised that the focus is on more drilling
when drilling has shown itself to be a vulnerability,"
said Sierra Club lobbyist Melinda Pierce. "It's
misguided to focus on drilling."

Pierce noted that though the budget reconciliation
bill makes drilling on the Alaska refuge more
immediately likely, there are some factors that could
postpone it or force lawmakers back to the drawing
board. For starters, congressional leaders may want to
take the budget back and make room for special
proposals tied to relief of hurricane-stricken areas.
There may also be more pressure to find more money
than the $2.4 billion assumed from leasing sales in
Alaska. "That $2.4 billion is pure speculation,"
Pierce said.


Redirect highway pork to fund hurricane relief

It would be disgraceful to move forward with the pet
projects in this year's $286.4-billion highway bill
while Gulf Coast communities sit in devastation.

A Times Editorial Published September 10, 2005

The first place President Bush and Congress should
look to fund hurricane relief is this year's
pork-laden highway bill. Even if the federal
government were not scrounging to respond to a
national emergency, the $286.4-billion, six-year
spending plan is a shameful waste of money. Instead of
building highways and bridges to nowhere, the
government should redirect some of this money to
rebuilding the Gulf Coast's transportation

No one knows what the recovery will cost. Congress and
the president approved $51.8-billion in additional
spending this week, bringing the initial federal
outlay to $62-billion. But with 145,000 people in
shelters, and many more staying with friends or in
temporary housing, the costs could easily reach
$150-billion or more.

The point is that America needs to spend what it takes
to piece these lives back together, and with the costs
unknown, now is the time to set clear national
priorities. Spending $6-million for a Vermont
snowmobile trail is not among them. Neither is
building a $231-million bridge in southeast Alaska.
The highway bill includes 6,370 special projects -
pork lawmakers from both parties love to bring home.
The deficit already looked bad before Katrina, and now
the outlook is worse.

The cost goes beyond financing emergency relief, which
is costing $700-million a day, or even rebuilding
destroyed neighborhoods. Hurricane Katrina will cut
400,000 people from the job rolls and slow economic
growth in the coming months, according to an
assessment this week by the Congressional Budget
Office. That comes on the heels of spiking gas costs,
which could increase at least temporarily the prices
for goods across the board and dampen consumer

This is not the time to blow millions of dollars on
highway landscaping, motor industry museums, bike
trails and roads that only satisfy politicians'
appetite for federal pork. Opening this honey pot
would not rebuild the Gulf Coast, but it would show
the people in Washington have something of a clue as
to where their responsibility lies.


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