Fed dollars, fed fisting. Galena and Eilson will soon look like gaped starfish (punked out rectal penis holsters).

Top of the morning gents,

Federal assist = Federal fist.

The winds are blowing hard mates. The ebb and flow of
the physical forces of greed and fear makes a rural
rodent shit bricks.

The ebb and flow of federal monies sure yank us remote
motherfuckers around sure as a Gumby tug job, reach
around, and jerk off.

The changes in rural Alaska bypass mail contracts are
now much different than they were when Chey Yuk,
Nasruk Nay, and myself were pitching freight for old
man Dale Walters at Ryan Air just 16 years ago.

Three Alaskan dumb asses that have all had numerous
firearms experiences since then: Chey was shot 7 times
by Ethan Cooley, whereupon Ethan booked uptown only to
be surrounded by coppers, tried a death by cop to no
avail, the screeched a rifle round under his chin and
out the toppa his head.

Aside from Chey Yuk's infamy, Nasruk and I have also
failed badly at staying under the radar and out of the
spotlight.

Near the end of that sloppy and rainy summer of ’89,
we were all laid off when Ryan Air lost a plane just
outside of Nome, Alaska.

Thanks to a hangover that could kill small children,
Higman and I were too sick to ride jump seat to Nome
with Kermit. Ryan Air flew one of its Cessna 402 twins
down to Nome for scheduled service, but Kermit
accidentally hit Saw tooth Mountain, minimizing his
total mass retention splatter pattern while 2 sick
boozehounds back at 321 2nd Ave Kotzebue were
performing chemical warfare on their hangovers: coffee
and bong hits, Alka (holic) Seltzer and cold amber
beers, tea and toke.

Drug abuse changes the fate of all rural Alaskans.
This one time, drugs saved my life.

Our hangovers died at the same instant Kermit did.
That trip to Nome for some nasty native sodomy and
gonorrhea debauchery was a trip best cancelled: just
like the life span of a fellow party animal and pilot,
Kermit.

Wherever possible, rural Alaska bypass mail is no
longer shipped by air, all bypass mail will be trucked
from Anchorage to Fairbanks, Dead Horse and Prudhoe
Bay. Then flown by small craft to Barrow and all the
other village destinations solely by airlines that
offer passenger seats underneath their cargo nets.

Tough new laws eh? Replace most airfreight routes with
long haul truckers, and then deliver the remaining
airfreight routes in planes that also carry
passengers.

Life’s a bitch, for an oriental bootlegger. This sucks
gook dick worse than flossing with hemp rope.

Cost containment, revenue enhancement.

Do you like the BRAC commission's reaction to their
base closure list? Politics, meaning fear and greed
are the sole reason to the painful 'flow' when the Fed
dollar tit dries up and falls off like a baby’s dry
rotten umbilical cord. As of this September, there'll
no longer be any ass to suck for money, just a salty
aftertaste mixed with pieces of corn and old white man
turd.

Kulis, Eilson, and Galena will shriek with much
shrill, but nobody can undermine this fair yet painful
process created by Congress to reduce the role of
politics in deciding which bases to close.

I'm already examining this eventuality for
opportunities to harvest, like poor children in Galena
I can sell to the sand niggers for butt pussy, houses
in North Pole that will require arson jobs to prevent
foreclosure, and janitorial contracts to bury all my
detractors when I clean up all the garbage, shit and
misery left behind each and every base they will
close.

Besides being extraordinarily messy, the military is
cold hearted and don't give a shit about bulldozing
their old bases.

Visualize Kotzebue Air Force Base, that's Galena and
Eilson's plight. All those buildings are destined for
the dump, just like our old landfill just beyond Mike
Kramer's DWI (driving while inupiaq) training pool,
Unnuk Lake.

Anchorage Mayor Begich's uterus is tickled pink. The
Anchorage Airport has waited patiently for Kulis to
pack up and fuck off, that land Kulis sits on is
likely the most expensive real estate in the entire
state. Anchorage’s Christmas in July and the present
is a Ted Stevens International Airport that can now
double its size with cheap and minimal dollars and
niggardly sense.

Now, can you smell which way the winds are blowing?

Fairbanks and Galena better devise a plan: they may
have lost their bases and buildings, but they'll both
gain empty parking lots bigger than the parasitic
communities surrounding them. More like parking lots
with massive garbage dump landfills directly under
them.

Federal fisting, huh? Nope, Alaskan’s with butt cheek
catcher’s mitts waiting for Uncle Sam’s ‘hole’ arm
with a certain Wessonality.

If yer gonna bend over for a fistful of fed dollars,
it’s gonna hurt like fuck when Uncle Sam yanks his
fist back out whilst pulling yer financial heart out
too.


Karl.