Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Everybody is a dumbass when they're stoned or drunk: even Quncy and the piglets.

Top of the morning gents,

Not sure where to start.

On one hand we got an ME that croaked her own life
support system for her cunt with a hot shot syringe
load full of cocaine. Undoubtably from melting her cat
piss in a plastic spoon, cuz the combustible
byproducts of polypropelene are most likely non-toxic.

This junky bitch ain't all that fucked up, she only
injects in one eye, not both: one labia not stereo,
hence only one fat lip. The extreme measures an addict
will go to conceal their needlepoint craftwerks and
HerpHepAIDS scab-ass artistry.

On the other hand, we got a drunk monkey fucker
employed as a policeman, arrested for DWI (driving
while inupiaq).

Matt Owens really got under my skin. The mistrial lit
my fuse and hearing about him prowling the slug trail
back alleys of Nome hunting for skanky Eskimo Pie
while out on bail, absolutely pissed me off.

Just like a couple of child gomers that were
terminated down in Bellingham, I think it's time for
SixKiller to snuff a few more child maggots, butt
bandits, and pustules in uniform.

Jesus fuck.

When I heard the news of a State Medical
Investigator's mysterious death, I immediately thought
of that maggot fuck that was stealing cocaine outa
evidence lockers replacing his needle erotic product
theft with laxatives, sugars, and foot powder.

Mere seconds later my mind was flooded with Bethel
city cops chewing and licking, gulping and burping
sperm offa each other like cum guzzling gutter sluts
wearing police uniforms and Bethel muni-badges.

Some squadroom meetings are best skipped, especially
those meetings when Capt. Wallace rags our shit up and
down and Chief Nolton bitch slaps our pussy mugs with
supervisory criticisms and red dome weather reports
rife with spit and bad breath as illustrative tools of

I sat in the back of the squadroom, next to Garroutte
and Squish, stunned in amazement that my supervisors
thought we needed a lecture discouraging us from
sexually abusing each other with our dentures and
saliva, and poop stained collapsible oosiks.


Guess some rural Alaskans never learn that some
cop-to-cop behaviors were as wrong as two boys

Joe looked nervous, Squish looked at the floor
embarrassed, and Waller was so pissed, he looked fit
to be tied.

Lorin Downing just sat there with his brown teeth just
grinning, like he knew we were naive to the finer
aspects of burping sperm, nobbing on the job, and
spooging in the rectums of bearded midget women.
Downing is a piece of work: the kind of faggot that
steps outa his shower to take a piss.

Odd lectures. Guess ya learn something new everyday.

I'd rather listen to Mack explain the pleasures of
'the pearl necklace', than listen to Wallace scold me
not to hump fellow men in uniform.

I had a numbing hangover to insulate me: this was all
a bad dream and it will all be gone as soon as I jerk
off and go back to sleep.

I wouldn't have considered this form of workplace
recreation had he not painted such a sloppy and
dripping detailed portrait for us.

No worries mates, I'm still queazy from Mack's
metaphoric rendition of how gook whores tease GI's:
they'll service ye, both Front and Rear. Mack also
enlightened me why yer ball bag is best described as
mudflaps: with all that prostitution business of
inserting and removing pearl necklaces going on behind
yer back.

Alaska is the Frontier State, where Alaska Piece
Officers will do ya: "front and rear."

Read onward Christian soldiers, just don't put it in
boys. Or Linda Kramer, unless yer gang banging and
double teaming side-by-side with Jake Rogers, or
eating 4-hour-old sloppy seconds behind Tom Peters.

Damn I'm nasty.

Birds of feather fuck together, just not on duty or in



Aug 30, 8:32 PM EDT

Police officer charged with drunken driving, weapons

KETCHIKAN, Alaska (AP) -- A Ketchikan police officer
has been placed on administrative leave after he was
arrested and charged with driving under the influence
of alcohol and fourth-degree weapons misconduct while
off duty.

Jonathan Clouse, who was recently promoted to
detective, was arrested Friday after he backed his
pickup truck against a rock flower island on the South
Tongass Highway, blocking southbound traffic.

Clouse, 34, smelled of alcohol and appeared
intoxicated when he was approached by Alaska State
Trooper Mark Finses after he pulled into a nearby
driveway, according to a complaint filed in Ketchikan
District Court.

"He could not stand without bracing himself on the bed
of his pickup," Finses wrote in the complaint. "After
I told Clouse I was going to conduct this
investigation, Clouse stated that he had a gun and he
could kill me right now, but he wanted to give it to

Finses told Clouse to leave the gun in his pocket, but
Clouse reached for it, the trooper wrote.

"I removed the gun from his hand and secured the 9mm
Kobrbaugh in my vehicle," Finses wrote.

The gun had a full magazine and one round in the
chamber, according to the trooper.

Clouse told Finses that he had consumed three beers at
a downtown bar in the previous two hours, according to
the complaint.

Clouse failed portions of a field sobriety test and
refused to complete part of it, Finses wrote. Clouse
was arrested and taken to troopers headquarters where
he took a breath test, which registered a
breath-alcohol concentration of .327, or slightly more
than four times the legal limit of .08.

Henry Keene, Clouse's attorney, entered a plea of
innocent to both charges for his client at an
arraignment hearing Monday before Ketchikan District
Court Judge Kevin Miller. The judge set an Oct. 14
jury trial and ordered Clouse to turn over any guns he
possesses to troopers.

Clouse joined the Ketchikan Police Department from the
San Bernardino, Calif., Police Department in March
2004. His probationary period is still in effect, said
Ketchikan Public Safety director Rich Leipfert.


Aug 30, 8:00 PM EDT

Autopsy: Medical examiner worker died after injecting

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) -- An autopsy found that a
medical examiner worker died after injecting herself
with cocaine.

Jessica Walker, 29, was found dead July 6 in the
garage of the state medical examiner's office.

The death is considered an accident, Anchorage police

The autopsy performed by the Oregon State Police
medical examiner's office found the cause of death to
be "toxic effects of cocaine." Since Walker worked for
the Alaska state medical examiner, the office's Oregon
counterpart did the autopsy to ensure the
investigation's independence, police said.

Franc Fallico, Alaska's chief medical examiner, said
he asked for the autopsy to be kept "at arm's length"
from his office.

Walker worked her regular day shift that week and also
was on call through the night in case of emergencies.
The night of her death, she was called to pick up
bodies recovered from a plane crash and bring them to
the Medical Examiner's Office, according to police
Capt. Ross Plummer.

Walker did her work but at some point must have
injected herself with cocaine, Plummer said. It
appeared she was alone at the office, he said. She was
found by co-workers early the next morning.

Police don't know where she obtained the cocaine and
are not releasing information on how much was found in
her system, Plummer said.

Walker had a good reputation at work, where she was an
embalmer and autopsy assistant, Fallico said.


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