Monday, May 30, 2005

Radical medicine that may clean up my blessed FAZ.

Top of the morning gents,

Allow me to show you one method to my madness.

Since the dearly departed Dr. Jan Shackles lectured me on the theory of the Siberian or the Mongolian Spot present on most of our beloved aboriginal brethren's DNA, I’ve been keenly interested in the investigation into the reasons some groups of Amerindians suffer such devastation from the effects of alcohol; an ongoing school of thought.

Like finding the cure for the common cancer: there’s gold in them thar pills. Meaning, the man that designs the pill packed with the structurally integral dehydrogenase type of enzymes will alleviate the syndromes of symptoms and behaviors we see far too often in our respective, yet dubiously respectable professions.

Examine the combined years of community advocacy collected within the strands of this synergistic killing machine I call friends. Ain’t no magic bullet and the Sgt’s magic wand “Sparky” will forever be inaccessible, but I do have a business model based on my concept of a magic pill. A pill that may possibly eliminate most forms of Native violence, neglect and abuse you all have been called and uniformed to investigate, repair, prosecute, and incarcerate.

Instead of that nasty fucking Antabuse, we can prescribe a veritable “insulin for the enhancement of your liver” allowing walks far aboriginal souls to experience the pleasurable aspects of social drinking, perhaps even hard drinking other cultures enjoy safely and sanely.

Two of my brothers are employed in the field of genome research and pharmaceutical engineering; we ain't out of line expecting those genius dorks from the D&D generation to pull a few medical miracles outa their asses.

Right at this moment a Japanese lad can go to their local pharmacy (or chemist shoppe) and buy a bottle of ERT (enzyme replacement therapy) pills that eliminate the following symptoms whilst drinking heavily:

· Blood shot eyes
· Ulcerated lips, mucous membranes, U/L GI
· Bright red face, neck, and upper torso

Basically eliminate all traces of appearing like a swollen, red faced, and hammered drunk native like Albert Monroe, Martin Octollik, or Reilly Kuwonna. I know all these killers personally, and I vastly overserve them far too frequently. Fuck you, I'm the only speak easy bartender up north of 70 lat, a pharmacist with a limited inventory, yet I kill them with kindness.

A pill that helps this kind of reaction to my cruel Finnish drinking pace. Them Japs are smart fuckers. I’m thinking my native brethren deserve the same relief. Imagine my Eskimo community with the alcohol removal capabilities and behaviors like a big Swede or a matronly Italian gal.

These pills also speed recovery between each round of drinks and cut hangovers in half. Japanese men can purchase medicine that allows them to drink like the majority of Europeans.

Here is how the medical technicians describe the typically occurring damage to my neighbors equipped with ancient and exotic Siberian internal organs.

“Frequencies of alcohol problems, alcohol dependence symptoms, and potentially lethal somatic disorders: arterial hypertension, silent ischemia, diffuse liver lesions, and noncalculous cholecystitis.”

(All this from the exposure to alcohol? This don’t sound like a party.)

This damage is solely caused by the consumption of a deadly solvent other cultures view, treat and consume like a fifth food group.

Do you see the untapped market potential here in America? Wake up fucks; Native Americans surround us. We might as well bill their goddamned BIA unhealthy insurance for my new medicine that converts their livers into a high capacity fuel filtering system thus allowing all of us drink happily together and walk home without pounding the piss outa each other.

The next Bill Gates in the Viagra Nutri-Ceuticals race is the dude that invents a pill that will drastically reduce all outward symptoms of alcohol abuse, hence most of the devastation I see right out my living room window.

Here’s a synopsis (below) of a medical research article I plagiarized from a research facility in Russia.

I’m one step ahead, I’m thinking of a pill to allow our Arab Muslim pals this same blessing and relief. Then I’d like to sell them Jim Beam, Alaskan Amber, and Dom P.

“Find what’s needed or wanted; then produce it.”

I can’t modify or replace the missing allele aldehyde dehydrogenase (AIDH 2/2) on each DNA strand in my hard partying Eskimo pals, but I can provide them with the missing enzymes they need to drink famously and exuberantly like their heroes in old Black and White cowboy and Western movies. Besides, permanent change to this tweaked allele may rob you of the ability to easily ingest blubbers, oils, and fats; fresh, frozen, and rancid.

Science fiction my ass; my 2 brothers should be able to design a pill that allows y’all to continue to drink hard, just safer and with healthier benefits.

How cool is that?

Put a little meditation into this one. We may live long enough to see it.


Karl.

---

Flushing Response and its Role in Alcohol Disease in Siberian Populations

Research and Publication Team: Kurilovich SA, Jakuschenko IA, Egorova NG, Avksentyuk AV, Trusov VB.

Institute of Internal Medicine, Novosibirsk, Russia.

The characteristics of alcohol-induced flushing response were studied in some Siberian Native populations (Chukchi, Eskimo, Jakuts, Udege, and Nanaian).

Flushing peculiarities were estimated and the interrelationship with drinking patterns, the ethanol patch test (EPT), and somatic disorders were analyzed. Frequency of flushing response varied from 9.0% to 66.7%, and was more often apparent among females.

Only the Nanaian demonstrated typical flushing, which did not allow them to consume high doses of alcohol. In the rest of the populations flushing was "atypical," i.e., appearing sometimes after high doses of alcohol but not interrupting alcohol drinking, and not associated with a positive EPT.

Direct genotyping in DNA samples of Chukotka Natives did not reveal atypical allele aldehyde dehydrogenase (AIDH 2/2). Frequencies of alcohol problems, alcohol dependence symptoms, and potentially lethal somatic disorders (arterial hypertension, silent ischemia, diffuse liver lesions, and noncalculous cholecystitis) were higher among atypical flushers compared to nonflushers (p < 0.05-0.01).

The mechanism of the observed atypical flushing response is unknown. We speculate on its hereditary nature, since flushing alcoholics, compared to nonflushers, reported that their parents had flushing responses significantly more often.

Further studies are required.

Source; International Circumpolar Health. 1998;57 Suppl 1:454-8.

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