Monday, May 30, 2005

Politics and Energy Policy. Put up yer dukes.

Top of the morning gents,

I’m going to gently walk through a minefield: politics
and energy policy. Topics that I can tell are already
putting a cramp in yer cunt.

Politics is a funny thing. Ironies abound when
choosing a party affiliation or casting disparaging
remarks about others. Political parties are a lot like
our lawyers; they are our advocates, representatives,
and the team that fights for us. Few politicians have
ever been anything but lawyers, very few indeed.

By hijacking issues and calling them their own
(plank), each political party builds a platform of
ideology, philosophy, and of course; opinions. These
platforms vary radically from election to election and
from decade to decade.

Jeffersonian theorists estimated the eventual
formation of a dozen or more equally powerful
political parties. In the largest democracy in the
world, India, we have over 200. You never find any
text in the constitution expressing law limiting the
number of American political parties to just two.

Despite such historic and cultural diversity, we're so

If you sitting next to me at my arctic computing
station, I’d like to pull your chair out from under
you, albeit in only a manner of speaking.

The Democrats blocked JFK's 1964 Civil Rights Act for
57 days via filibuster; hence the awful slang term

Weird huh? Al Gore's dad led this battle to block
Kennedy's equal rights bill. Weirder yet, Abraham
Lincoln was a Republican.

In the battle for power, both parties market
themselves by tailoring their pitches to capture the
most votes. The power either party gains is then
sickeningly directed towards international foreign
policy and cruelly towards domestic policy.

“History don’t repeat itself, it just rhymes.” -Mark
Twain. Is that a cool quote or what?

The Karl Rove driven campaigns were sheer genius;
steal the Christian ideology as their own, thus by
default labeling the opposition as anti-Christian
(anti-Christ). The next crusades will be carefully
launched attacks against left coast ideology.

Scares me how effectively the Dems have been relegated
to begging votes from welfare minorities, homosexuals,
and abortion happy women's libbers. Subgroups being
ostracized at this very moment by hard working
Christian worker bees that have been tricked into
believing all our social ills are their fault. Any of
you dumb shits ever read Mien Kaumpf?

Divide and conquer and you have all the gold, then you
make all the rules.

One thing you’ve got to remember, know your
constituency. After the Muslims ignited their own
holy war on American soil, you’ve been given your
marching orders, “Onward Christian Soldiers”

Since leaving Seattle so many years ago, I learned my
west coast ideology was dreadfully incongruent with
mainstream America. Seattle isn’t anything remotely
similar to South Dakota, rural Finland, Estonia or
Iowa. I used to think that if you weren’t liberal,
progressive, or whatever, you weren’t as smart as me.
Ideology has no correlation to IQ, and it’s best I
learn to understand how the rest of the world thinks.

“From where one has not been, one shall not speak.”
Red state or blue state, this former Seattle boy was
both naïve and pretentious.

Policy decisions affect different people differently.
Fed rate policy affects your monthly mortgage and rent
payments, foreign policy dictates the destination of
our enlisted soldiers etc. Our political preferences
are tied to enlightened self-interest and we vote
according to our unique existential needs, wants and

I live on the North Slope and my standard of living is
frightfully and painfully tied to continued oil
exploration. My vote HAS to go to the party that
panders to my needs, wants, and luxuries. Fuck all.

As an Alaskan hotrod motor head and driving
enthusiast, I speculate the best places we’ll most
likely find oil; in an oil field. Dudes, we got lots
too. Proven reserves in the NPR (National Petroleum
Reserve) and theoretical reserves in ANWR (Arctic
National Wildlife Reserve).

I’m also digging the notion of cashing in on all the
trillions of cubic feet of natural gas directly under
my butt. Shit, we’ve already re-injected enough
natural gas back into our oil fields to meet our
break-even point. Arctic oil fields don’t ‘flare off’
their gaseous and vaporous byproducts; we shoot it
back into the ground to assist lifting oil out of
wells that no longer have positive blast pressure.
Most of the trucks, vehicles, and equipment run on
natural gas including all the heat and power plants.

After we pump all our oil out we have huge reserves of
coal that’ll generate enough electricity to power the
entire country. Alaska has over 2000 times all of our
estimated oil reserves stored in coal seams all
throughout state and federal lands. Finland has
electric rail to its arctic regions, Alaska could
easily punch rail service down the Yukon River,
Prudhoe Bay and out to the Kobuk Valley.

Issues are exactly that. That’s why they’re issues,
cuz moral disagreements have no right or wrong side,
it’s policy we agree with, or policy that serves us

Differences of opinions are the cleaver we see used to
expand each party’s base but cloaked with political
correctness and incorrectness making your side feel
right, the other guy wrong.

At the moment, my battle is with chicken shit hippies
and environmentalist whackos.

I have shrill opposition to my dreams of pumping
wonderful volumes of crude oil, natural gas, and the
lowest sulfur coal on the planet out of our blessed
resource colony, Alaska. We have more natural gas
underneath my duplex than all of the estimated
reserves in the lesser 48; cheap gas is good for the
household consumer, but spells extinction to high cost
wells currently in use. Meaning, we’ll see resistance
from an obsolete and expensive natural gas industry
even before we lay our first piece of pipe.

Seems we have also inflamed a few folks with the
notion of eradicating poverty and disease with cheap
and plentiful electricity via a safe and clean Toshiba
2.0 Mw (million-watt) subterranean nuclear device
buried in center of a suffering cluster of ungodly
poor Indians. Cheaper electricity means cleaner water
and more of it.

What? Did you think Alaskan Natives somehow escaped
the correlation between general health and per capita
volume of clean water consumed for cooking, drinking,
washing, bathing, showering, and laundry? Oh yeah,
most of you stupid shits haven’t experienced
backbreaking existence in some of the poorest and most
remote villages in the entire circumpolar region:
Interior Alaska. Eskimos are nigger rich by

Our brethren on the Yukon River are long over due such
a blessing: a small, silent, and compact nuke device
that puts out steady current equal to four 550-Kw
(kilo-watt) loud and smoky diesel power plants we see
commonly used throughout rural Alaska, yet cheaper and
less environmentally disastrous than any of the
hundreds of hydroelectric dams down the west coast of
the lesser 48.

If France can draw nearly two-thirds of their power
from nuclear energy, I believe we can do better.
Rural Alaska really shouldn’t be burning millions of
gallons of horribly expensive fuel for heat and power;
we might soot our Arctic and our lungs.

Business opportunities give me a boner. Especially
when we’re so close to completing our wealth building
equation: Labor and Capital.

Cheap energy attracts capital investment; we already
got shit loads of cheap labor hanging about. Boasting
the CHEAPEST commercial electricity rates in the
country will bring more carpetbagger investors to the
Yukon Koyukuk Drainage Basin than any gold rush.

You graying gunslingers will have to excuse me. This
optimism of exciting possibilities is giving me
tremendous swelling and goat milking farm boys abuse
themselves in the most violent ways. With all this
resource development and business opportunity talk, I
gotta sneak off and choke the fat bat.

Inseparable: like sex and violence, energy and
politics debates will fuck ye if you do, and fuck ye
if you don’t.

Cheers mates, more boners greased with crude.



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