Monday, February 07, 2005

Reverse Racism = Racism.

Top of the morning gents,

Racism, humor, and retarded humans. Fuck, where do I

Years ago, a colleague of mine, better known as
"Yauney the slack master" bespoke a tremendously
brilliant slogan.

"You can't erase obsolete racism and discrimination
with the replacement of newer forms of racism and

Mr. Yauney retained some fine words he overheard from
the shrunken and babbling Senator Tedless Stevens. Ya
see, my stoner dude from the old days at UAF worked
for our ancient pre-mortem, yet breathing and
dysfunctionally erected stuttering fart bag.

I'm gonna have to raise my estimation of our elected
diapered dignitary, that is, if he's the author of
this tremendously complex phrase.

Way back, my Bunnik asked me how the Finns arose above
their indigent aboriginality and became the world's
leader in telecommunications. I explained that the
Finns are always on the lookout for hidden genius.

Finns are very cruel to dumb shits, retards, and
flunkies, but spoil and encourage their brightest.

This stumped me Bunnik. She thought about this, then
asked me why Eskimos do exactly the reverse. As in
spoil and encourage the retards and punish and exile
the potential Mozarts and Galileos.

I busted a gut and gave her a big hug and thanked her
for expressing what has been kept closeted for pert
near 10,000 years. Hence why Eskimos lead the world
in FAS babies, raped daughters and sons, and are the
sole creators of this reservation molasses bucket they
call home. The term honey bucket is far too pristine
for such a self-fucking gang o' browntard no teefers.

Cultural self loathing aside, I'd like to share a
funny friendship I have here in town.

Barrow put in for a 10/90 Fed grant for a bussing
system and maintains a damn good crew and fleet of
city busses. I'm best mates with all the drivers and
frequently share tales of boozing, broads, drugs, and
veiled references to a mythical star chamber.

"Fat Carolina" is a driver from south of the
moron-Dixon line. Sweet man, well mannered, and
always picks the ugliest pussy. Kelly is my Irish
dude that left me his truck and boat after discovering
Barrow sucked horse puckey after he returned from
re-hab clean and sober. Tim McDonald is a
driver/Sounder editor who also left Barrow to sober
up. The corker that I fondly call a "Fat tundra
maggot" is Victor, a local native that always cheers
me up.

When I board the bus, he'll waive bus fare, but
insists I sit up front and make him laugh. Few days
back he greeted me with a light fist bump and we
simultaneously chimed "Mud Races."

No shit, it's either "Hey negro" or "Mud Races, bro."
Real witty guy who also knows that God is a comedian
and we're all too fucking ignorant and afraid to

On this particular morning, the bus was full of pear
shaped fat chicks, all white and intent on 'saving the

Yup. You all know the type. Fat pale dikes with lard
balloon butt cheeks that are widest just above their
knees due to old age and gravity's effect on
descending blubber and estrogen levels.

Nobody fucks 'em cuz they're chubby wiggers and
display the barriers to entry via excess dimpled
obesity that has slid south past the ass yet pot
bellied and smelly.

Nobody could reach that far around with a wad of
toilet paper, thus dragging brown trout and fecal skid
marks over their birth ports. Little boys always
wonder how fat ladies wipe ass. They don't, they
perform in home crap-smears.

Cracklin' funny digression.

On this morning, after my good ol' boy "Mud Races"
greeting from my Inupiaq bus driver, I was greeted by
a bus load of glaring and bitchy, whity but no tighty
pear shaped "women".

I was even lectured that I was rude, foul and
offensive. Damn, these leaking cunts have an eye for
the obvious.

To this day, I'm greeted with that same mean cunty
glare. You know what I'm talking about, cuz some of
you uniformed felons are attracted to fat white chicks
cuz they'll never scold you for not eating "your

Am I out of line for engaging in anti-intellectual
diatribe banter with my browner, yet way cool bros?

Maybe, but the offended parties aren't the brown
parties, merely the unmounted and unlovable,
self-loathing fat chicks.

Fuck you. I beat up on my beloved neighbors north of
70 lat, why not the imported leaking white fat butts?

I'd hate my own culture if I was a shit ass poor
example of my race. Do you see what I'm hinting at?
Pride comes from excellence.

Self-loathing, embarrassment and shame come from
disappointment. That's why natives embrace these pear
shaped dikey women.

I'm flailing about for answers.

It must be fun to watch me spaz out, withholding
confirmation until I pull my foot outa my ass and into
my mouth.

Some evenings, I hear me Bunnik cackle and laugh
whilst reading my dipshit essays and retarded
observations of dipshits and retards.

Hence the impetus for today's confusing exploratory
missive back into this regionally specific inane

The Mrs. explained it's why all you blessed old
gunslingers have fled the villages.

We'd all hate our own race if the retards outnumbered
the geniuses. Wait, fate a compli.

A reservation, like a penile colostomy (penal colony),
should only be inhabited by the worst examples of all
it's component races and is best viewed through your
rear view mirror or one of Westlake's rifle scopes.

Just like all of you; have gun will travel.


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