Re-Hab Don't Work, North of The Arctic Circle

Top of the morning gents,

I thought I’d grant control of my speedy hands to the Mrs., my grandmum and me mum. Let’s just take a walk down a different path today. A bit parental, a bit motherly, qualities all terribly deficient in murderous motherfuckers like ourselves.

A few years ago, I heard my professors use a term “ACOA.” I had no idea what the clever acronym meant, just that I hear far too many acronyms in Alaska by folks with poor speech.

I later learned it was a psychiatric term, Adult Children Of Alcoholics, and that this classification of people displays extraordinarily high probabilities to commit violence (internal and external) and abuse drugs and alcohol. There’s data supporting this assertion by other social services besides DSHS, CPS, and DFYS. Ya see, I got bad fucking speech, so I use these acronyms too. Besides, it takes too much time and ink to spell them out.

The National Sheriff’s Association also publishes similar actuarial tables derived from inmate intake histories and background information.

86% of all inmates indicated they’d gotten “tuned up” before their respective crimes with a plethora of drugs, nearly always indicating alcohol as the primary intoxicant, the most commonly abused drug on the planet.

Nicotine is the second most commonly abused drug in the world, but since it’s classified as a legal drug along with alcohol, they’re better for you than illegal drugs.

Sure. You smell that too?

I now see the futility in arguing any aspect of legality versus aspects of health; all intoxicants short circuit the human drive for food, sex, and composure. With that in mind, do you see why our arrestees are all malnourished, so horny for sex that they’ll fuck any foul smelling anal port believing it’s the sweetest pussy in prison?

I’m funny, contradictory, and hypocritical; this Viking enjoys frequent drinking, and occasional smoking. I said frequent drinking, not heavy or hard, and most specifically, never binge drinking like my browner, yet less lucid counterparts here in Ukpeagvik Territory. The chronic ear, nose and throat problems and epidemic asthma we find in rural Alaska are caused by and exacerbated by continuous long-term cigarette smoke exposure.

One of my simple rules I follow; actually only one rule; behave yourself. I wish that gospel were contagious. Pity it ain’t.

Self-discipline is a necessary quality if you think you can start and stop the consumption of addictive intoxicants. We all know people that don’t smoke, but have a few cigarettes when they’re out pub hopping and clubbing. Again, self discipline.

Take it from a professional drug dealer and career narcotics operative, addictive substances only get a headlock on compulsive or impulsive people. If you can’t behave yourself, then your behavior is uncontrollable, and you instantly become subordinate to your own self-indulgent compulsions. The brain makes a wonderful slave, yet a horrid and unrelenting taskmaster.

Alcoholism is a wonderful medication for childhood emotional depravity and neglect.

Excessive selfishness, narcissism, and self-centered behavior is viewed as a hard earned privilege of a grown adult that was never spoiled as a baby, never doted on as a child, supported and understood as an adolescent. Shit boys, after a lifetime of neglect by alcoholic parents, what’s more appropriate than to spoil yourself with every self indulgence on the black and gray markets. With the constant bombardment of cigarette adverts in teen mags and pop rags, it’s understandable for kids to assume all cool grownups are knocking back tasty beverages and tasty smokes.

Misery enjoys company, so you’ll find clusters of addicts. Some folks actually believe that sobriety is an impossibility. Implication therein is that curbing one’s own behavior is an impossible target.

Why is it nonsensical to empower modern humans with the capacity to curb its intake of addictive poisons, habit forming toxins, and generally; suicidal and obesity inducing behavior?

I’ve scene lots of narcs go through withdrawals; kick the sheets for a few weeks, that’s all. It’s the same for all addictive substances; you’ll only crave the drug for a couple of days after cessation.

Rehabilitation merely reorganizes your behavior. Your addictions seldom last longer than a couple of days; your own persistent bad behavior may likely take a lifetime to correct. I view rehab as an empowerment lesson, teaching skills to ignore your own selfish desires and narcissism. If you have no control over your own brain, you never learned to behave yourself, and it’ll march you into every crack den, tavern and bodega for a pack of fags and a cold beer.

Looking at your own brain from an external perspective, you now know why we are our own worst enemies.

Remember Rachel Craig's comment, "common sense is uncommon." And I have an eye for the obvious.

Carry on gentlemen, and may your current marriage be your last marriage. We owe our children more than we've delivered so far.

We'll likely see some of our own kids enjoying prison sex. (Blame that on their moms)

Unwanted children lead unwanted lives.

Karl.