Friday, February 04, 2005

Bastard Dad's. God Bless them.

Top of the morning gents,

Added another shooter to our electronic knitting
circle.

Like most of you, this chap was formerly employed in
policy enforcement, burned out by cultural barriers to
child protection. This angel is also the chap
mentioned in previous essays, the poor soul caring for
more deceased children than any human should. Like
most of you, he's discovered there ain't no healing
from abuse, so he has now dedicated his life to
protecting infants and children. In regards to any
childhood disease, prevention is worth SIX TONS of
cure. Fuck all.

Ain't no repairing any of us fossils. We may bitch
about our own emotional injuries and permanently
broken hearts, hence the motive behind our daily am
newsletter, but we'll never truly appreciate the fear,
hatred, and guilt these poor kidlets wrestle with. A
wrestling match for the rest of their life.

Nobody heals from childhood trauma. Poor sib, merely
adjusts their emotional sequences and structure to
accommodate such pain. Hence the surprising mood
swings and emotional responses. Kinda makes
relationships startling and upsetting. As the twig
bends, so grows the tree. Fuck! It never gets
better. Coping skills are simply that, coping with
shit.

Raping a child is also a crime of theft. The sense of
self esteem, justice, fair play, safety, and closeness
to loved ones: all taken. The misuse of
pre-adolescent tissue forever alters the template of
future generations.

In Anchorage, we have almost 5000 native kidlets in
foster care. That's more than the populations of
either Ukpeagvik or Kikiktagruk (Barrow or Kotzebue).

2 days ago, another case of baby raping fell into my
lap. One of my best whaling pals puts it in his
children. And I'm the one feeling embarrassed.

No worries mates, I've tapped a very lethal member of
this daily am newsletter, we're already on the ground
and we'll soon be fucking this guy running, no mercy.
Despite my weird uncomfortable feelings, I'm trying
real hard to stay glued together. My feelings don't
mean shit in this scenario.

The RIQ (rapist in question) is a real good buddy of
mine too. Why the fuck do I feel this way? I too
almost prefer to sweep this under the rug. Picking up
the phone was harder than you think. This guy is one
of my best Eskimo hunting buddies, fuck me, breaks a
man's heart.

The only reason I made the phone call is cuz the mom
blames the daughter, and wants her sent away to foster
care. Fuck! I ain't making any friends in this
village. I crimped the Logan booze/drug pipeline,
that felt real goddamn good, but my endeavor to stop
further childsex feels really goddamn awful. I ain't
as strong as you chaps, this aspect of law enforcement
makes a grown man cry.

I ain't cut out for this shit. I made my bones in the
smuggling and distribution business, then transferred
to duties under Columbo and Nay. I'm no use to anyone
in this field of work.

As usual, I'm guided by the Mrs. Last night, she
reminded me again, that Eskimos are pacifists and "all
those little kids are counting on you and your
friends."

"You and your cop friends are the answer to my
childhood prayers, that's why God sent you here, to
help us."

"I never told you this, but when I was little, I
always wished really hard your troop of strong men
would hurry up and come help me."

"Why did it take you so long?"

Last night, she wept herself to sleep. Guess I did
too.

She truly believes you gents can do miracles and that
this team of murderous bastards ain't no consequence
of any accident. The Mrs. believes you've been chosen
by divine intervention to undertake these truly
difficult duties. Like I've said a hunnert times
before, God's children, all of you.

This soldier took a long walk yesterday, had to sort
things out. This ain't my fucking neighborhood, my
culture, or my problem, yet I gotta steal Sgt.
Waller's magic wand and make things right with this
little girl.

I found a lead pipe that looks just like the
sergeant's magic wand. Time to start casting spells
and answering the Mrs. prayers.

You boys oughta send a few prayers this way, I could
use 'em.

I attached some very fine words from the sarge. After
my agonizing rant, his message puts things back into
perspective.


Karl.

___________________________________________________
Greetings Folks,

Well today is a big day for our kids. Highschool
graduation. Hard to believe my daughter is that old
already. She turned eighteen on May 7.

Only three more to go now. I know you all have and
still are going through this so you know the feeling
of how fast time flies. Nolton, you have a second one
graduating too.

My memories of when I first moved to Kotzebue are
still clear (22 years ago). I guess the coming of age
of my daughter has made me think about where I've been
and why I've stayed here as long as I have. Boils down
to the fact that no matter how screwed up this place
may be at times, it is still a far better place than
where I came from. Okay so being just
plain psycho may also be a factor in why I've stayed.
I've also made some far better friends than some of
the losers I grew up with and used to call friends.

Anyway I guess the current events of my daughters
lives have reminded me of how fast time flies and how
much we need to work to get the most enjoyment out of
everyday of our life.

Have a nice day.

Jeff

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